How to be attractive

[Onethirtyeight]

Thinking it might be a good idea to have thread where people can include some advise on ways to be attractive. Hopefully some women can chime in and give advise for the men that routinely ask questions about this. I'll start with how I think women can improve their looks. I'm a man so I feel I'm at least somewhat qualified to list some things women can do to attract other men.

 

1. Proper weight- I cannot stress how important this is, being at an appropriate weight is probably the biggest improvement most women make to their appearance. Your proper weight is always, I repeat always, a healthy weight. Rather than talking about BMI and body types I’m going to ask you to ask yourself if you look fit. Stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself “Do I look healthy and fit?” You want to be healthy and fit, you will look your best if you are healthy and are in good shape regardless of your body type. You are going to look and feel better if you eat healthy and exercise.

 

2. Body hair- Body hair is unattractive. Excluding your more personal regions and arms you need to shave/wax any body hair no exceptions.

 

3. Hygiene- This should go without saying, and actually most women do a great job with this one. It is just too important to overlook for those that are lacking in this regard. I‘m not going to tell you how to bathe and do laundry, just that you need to do it.

 

4. Head hair-Men notice your hair, even if we don’t consciously think about it, it is something that matters. That said it doesn’t matter in the way you might think it does. Again the most important aspect here is looking healthy, your hair should look healthy. Soft hair is more important than any kind of style or color. Some men say they have a preference and find some combination best but you’re only doing yourself a disservice by damaging your hair by dying and curling/straightening it excessively.

 

5. Dress in a way that is flattering-What works for one person may not work for you. Ideally you show off what you have in a classy way and understate things that may not be your best features. You also want to dress in a coherent fashion; multiple uncoordinated colors and styles at the same time really do look bad. This could turn into a novel if I’m not careful and there are plenty of honest resources on this elsewhere.

 

6. Don’t overdo the makeup- This is not to say don’t wear it on dates, I am saying don’t bother when you go to work, if I’m noticing your makeup I probably already like you. Instead of spending half an hour doing makeup in the morning use that time to run around the neighborhood or cook a healthy breakfast to help with item #1.

 

Honestly I don’t even notice most the makeup women use, to the point I can’t even begin to offer advice on all the things not to do. I will say that I notice lipstick and eyelashes. Now if you really feel you need makeup more power to you but I’ll say I’ve never seen makeup make the same kind of dramatic improvement that the other items on this list are capable of.

 

The final part of this is often times the only reason I notice makeup is because it’s too much. You do not want to look like a clown or like you are unnatural. Sure it’s interesting to see on models but very few people can pull that off and it’s not particularly good looking then.

[MrCastle]

I'll play along.

 

Men (physical)

 

Hairstyle - Have hair long enough to style. Unless you are balding, then shave your head. Everyone can pull off the shaved head look. But if you're not balding, a trendy hairstyle goes a long way.

 

Facial hair - Find out what works for you. Some guys can pull it off, some can't. This is totally subjective based on your face. I had a mustache and goatee and got nowhere with women. Now I'm clean shaven and do much better. Some guys can pull off the rugged manly man, others the boyish good looks. I'm the latter. Facial hair on me looks comical. You may be surprised how something this subtle can be the difference between attraction and no attraction.

 

Dress - Have some style. This doesn't mean buy expensive clothes. Knowing how to dress is an art form. I don't usually wear more than t-shirts and jeans but the way they fit is what's important. Not baggy, not skin tight. When I have to, I can get pretty festive. Nautical shirts, white shorts, and boat shoes in the summer. Plaid shirts, denim, and boots in the fall. Play to the seasons. Get festive. Knowing how to dress is not "gay". Being stylish will set you apart from other men.

 

Get in shape - You don't have to be ripped, but being in relatively good shape will be beneficial, obviously. Women are not as visual as men typically, but they still would prefer something nice to look at. The better shape you're in, the bigger your dating pool gets.

 

Men (personality)

 

Confidence - fake it if you have to. Most women go wild for confidence. I don't understand it. It just is. Confidence will take you far.

 

Talk/move slowly - I consciously changed my body language. Slowed everything down. Every move is deliberate. Slow and calculated. It just comes across as sexy. When you look at people considered sex symbols, they usually talk slow and move slowly.

 

Have interests - Being interesting is always a plus. Have hobbies or intereste thay set you apart from other men. Be cultured. Be well read. Be able to have conversations about a broad variety of topics. Don't just be the guy who plays video games and watches porn. Be an interesting person.

 

That's it for now

[BlametheIrish]

CGreat response MrCastle, especially.the part abput facial hair.

 

But you forgot hygiene

Men please please please understand that when you mix a scented deodorant with cologne, hair gel, after shave etc etc, it is literally nauseating!!!

 

Dont over do Cologne period

 

Nasal hair, between the eyebrows hair and for you older gentlemen ear hair need to be gone

 

Nicely kept teeth go.a long way too. A frirndly smile seems much less friendly when the mouth looks like you havent seen a dentist in years.

 

Most of that is common sense and yet I see men who dress nice but neglect important parts of their body all the time.

 

Edited to.add: if thats you in your avatar pic mr castle then never grow any facial haur ever, you got an amazing jaw line.

[GemmaUK]

Guys...

 

Learn that you are probably not as gorgeous as your Mother tells you.

 

Women are visual creatures too.

 

Weight & body size: Yes it matters. If you are overweight then you cannot expect a slim woman to stick around unless you are totally amazing in some other way.

 

Hair: a bit of natural is fine - hair on yoru back is never fine..it's gross, we hate it.

 

Hygiene: learn about soap, water and antiperspirant.....please!!!!

 

Clothes: Get a personal shopper or something. Some of the clothes you guys turn up to dates in are leisurewear. Not date wear!!!

 

Respect: Try having some. It's so sexy when you do.

[Onethirtyeight]

If you don't follow the prescribed comments you will certainly be unattractive, but if you do follow them you will not magically become attractive. You may just land on the realm of normal human being.

 

Attraction is an emotion which I'm not sure you can willfully conjure up by appearance alone. It's more of a playful interaction game.

 

I'm basing this on the assumption that someone is lacking in these areas and will become more attractive by doing these things.

 

To some extent looks are just luck of the draw but how you play them still has a major impact on if you're going to have any success.

[MrNate 2.0]

Let's discuss facial hair a bit more.

 

How do I know if I should rock it or not? Sometimes I'm torn. lol.

[Tony T]

All I like to do is play video games, watch porn and stare at myself in the mirror. There's got to be a female out there who would love me for that. Just kidding, I don't stare at myself in the mirror....

[CrystalCastles]

Great post OP! One thing about the shaving, however. Some men prefer completely bare everywhere. I've done laser treatments on my arms, starting my legs, then will move on to the lady parts and armpits. If hair on your arms is very light and not noticeable, then you can get away with not removing it. I have dark hair and against my skin it's very noticeable.

 

Men, don't overdo the cologne. I suffocate when I'm around a guy who has literally taken a bath in Axe. Super gross. Nothing too strong and a light spray so that I can smell a hint of nice scent on you, but nothing overpowering, is good.

And hair. Wash. Your. Hair. I've been around too many guys with greasy hair and it's disgusting. Especially if the guy's hair is a little longer-ish.

[CrystalCastles]

Let's discuss facial hair a bit more.

 

How do I know if I should rock it or not? Sometimes I'm torn. lol.

 

Don't rock it if it's too bushy. Some men's facial hair is so dense, it looks like a bush sprouted out of their chin and jaw. A bit of short scruff is not bad, but too dense is bad and too long is bad.

[Smthn_Like_Olivia]

Let's discuss facial hair a bit more.

 

How do I know if I should rock it or not? Sometimes I'm torn. lol.

 

For me?? Nicely trimmed full beards are hella sexy on damn near ANY man and work with almost any hair style. Full beard or nothing.

 

Facial hair to definitely avoid -

 

1. The Flavor Saver - that small isolated patch of hair some men grow under their bottom lip? Ugghh...the worst. Why??

2. The Mustache - umm...not unless you're planning to re-enact an 80s porn.

3. Goatees - they're so 1996. No.

[Onethirtyeight]

Let's discuss facial hair a bit more.

 

How do I know if I should rock it or not? Sometimes I'm torn. lol.

 

my $.02 as a guy is to just not half ass it or try it if you don't have the ability to grow a real beard. It just looks mangy.

[Onethirtyeight]

Great post OP! One thing about the shaving, however. Some men prefer completely bare everywhere. I've done laser treatments on my arms, starting my legs, then will move on to the lady parts and armpits. If hair on your arms is very light and not noticeable, then you can get away with not removing it. I have dark hair and against my skin it's very noticeable.

 

Thanks.

 

And yeah some guys do like the totally hairless thing. I could have worded that differently, I was saying its pretty much accepted that women need to shave their legs, armpits, and remove facial hair. Anything else starts getting rather specific to each person.

[Scales]

I will list my ways to up in attractiveness for men

 

1. Clothes- dressing is not about "fashion" it is about style. Style is better defined as taking an image and living that. Find a style and an image that is right for you and sync the other parts of your body to it. Your hair and facial hair should match your image. Wear full 100% fabric clothes and wear manly clothes. No printed T-shirts unless you are going to your local dude meet up or playing games in your house.

 

2. Stand out- being like everyone else is only good unless you are the best at it. You aren't on this forum because you are a celebrity. Have something unique to you like a hobby or accessory, especially if your life/job is dry.

 

3. Hygiene- smell good. Don't skimp on the cologne no matter what people say. Its better to over do than to not wear enough. find the balance. Also, never axe spray. Never. Deodorant is a good idea. shaving back hair is also. Shower before you go out. Mints are good.

 

4. Eye contact and Smile- self explanatory but done wrong many times.

 

5. Do not under any circumstances supplicate yourself early. Do not buy drinks immediately. Do not hold her stuff. Do not accept her being late. Nothing blows attraction more than the stench of a nice guy that she can walk on. One way ticket to the friendzone. This doesn't mean being a jerk about it. Don't be rude. Just don't do it. These kind of behaviors are reserved for your girlfriend, not some woman you just met.

[soccerrprp]

1. Respect for yourself AND others

2. Being upfront, assertive (not too...)

3. Eye to eye contact when speaking to someone

4. Healthy lifestyle PERIOD. No drugs, eating healthy, exercise

5. Aware of what is going on in the world, informed

6. Selfless to a point; thinking beyond yourself

7. Good listener (learn to listen)

8. Less cynical or critical

9. Consistency in actions, emotions

10. Willing to be open or step out of one's box

[FitChick]

Don't rock it if it's too bushy. Some men's facial hair is so dense, it looks like a bush sprouted out of their chin and jaw. A bit of short scruff is not bad, but too dense is bad and too long is bad.

I'm seeing more men sporting the Terrorist Look. Not attractive and you are begging to be cavity searched at the airport. I personally don't like any facial hair on a man.

 

Feet! Men, don't wear the same pair of socks two days in a row. Like underwear, wear a clean pair every day. Don't have only one pair of shoes or sneakers. They need a day or two to air out between wearings because your feet sweat and bacteria love that. Treat yourself to a pedicure at least once to learn how to take care of your feet. Some men look like they have dirty hooves.

[gaius]

Being comfortable with who you are is the main thing. Who you REALLY are, not who you want to be. Tons of people talk about confidence but don't even understand what it really means.

 

If you're comfortable with who you are you can show up to dates with rotten shoes, no cologne, questionable dressing choices and still be wildly attractive and successful.

Edited to.add: if thats you in your avatar pic mr castle then never grow any facial haur ever, you got an amazing jaw line.

All the movie executives think so too. Did you know Castle has been in a movie before?

[regine_phalange]

**Some of them apply to both sexes, but I was bored to make a third mutual category. Don't patronize me because it seems like I have double standards or something.

 

If I had a daughter, I'd say to her;

- Be classy. Dress accordingly to the occassion and your body type. Choose a fit that hugs the sihouette nicely, not tight. Choose quality over quantity. Choose basic pieces which you can mix and match endlessly. Don't be afraid to wear something you like and that's out of fashion. If you feel truly happy and comfortable in a garment, it's made for you and you look good in it.

- Instead of torturing your hair, work with what you've got. Many would kill for your hair type, no matter what it is, straight, wavy or curly. Keep it healthy. Be gentle. Don't use heat. Don't use harsh shampoos.

- Don't use too much perfume. With time we get used to scents and we can't smell it as well as we did in the beginning.

- Makeup is best for enhanching our natural facial features and skin tone. You are pretty! No need to be someone else.

- Say your opinion. Nicely. Don't be afraid to disagree. No one will love you less.

- Don't hold your frustrations. Let them out in a constructive way. Resentment makes us cold. Expressing ourselves makes us more generous.

- Don't cling on people. Relations, love, appreciation should not be forced.

- Smile with your eyes.

- Have passions. Passions that make you someone who can't be described only in a couple of words.

- Don't be afraid to wear a snorkel if you are going to have fun with it. There is not such thing as "unfeminine" if you re having real fun.

 

If I had a son, I would advise him;

- Men look good with several styles. Grunge (ah.), athletic, classy, casual. Just fit it properly to the occassion. The shoes as well.

- Check your sleeves and trousers length. Too short can make you look like a homeless, too long can make you look clumsy. Careful of the fit of your clothes. Always remove the stitch in the back of newly bought blazers.

- We love your cologne. Don't smoke too much, you will ruin the nice scent. Or at least, choose a cologne that goes well with smoke (eg. Tom Ford - Tobacco Vanille).

- Don't bite your nails.

- Some men look better with facial hair, some without.

- Stand tall, no matter what your height is.

- Be a gentleman. You will always be remembered and appreciated for it.

- Be determined. Be stable. Think of what you want in life and go for it. Think as if it was yours already. Make it yours. If you are on a crossroad, just make this decision and stick with it.

- It's okay to be human and have emotions. No one forbids that.

[LuvsTrucks2]

Lady here, I would suggest the following for men based upon my recent dating activity:

 

Shower

Wear clean and neat clothes.

Visit the dentist regularly to avoid bad breathe.

Don't automatically assume we are in a relationship; too much too soon.

Fingernails should be clean and neatly trimmed.

Facial hair is acceptable, just keep it neat and defined.

Don't over do the cologne/after shave.

Don't be a know it all. Confidence is good but over confidence is a turn off.

[organizedchaos]

I'm seeing more men sporting the Terrorist Look. Not attractive and you are begging to be cavity searched at the airport. I personally don't like any facial hair on a man.

 

Feet! Men, don't wear the same pair of socks two days in a row. Like underwear, wear a clean pair every day. Don't have only one pair of shoes or sneakers. They need a day or two to air out between wearings because your feet sweat and bacteria love that. Treat yourself to a pedicure at least once to learn how to take care of your feet. Some men look like they have dirty hooves.

 

Are there guys out there that really need to be reminded of this???

[LuvsTrucks2]

Organized,

 

Yes, I recently dated one, not only did his feet stink, he wore what appeared to be girls socks, I asked him if he borrowed them from his daughter, lol!

[MrCastle]

CGreat response MrCastle, especially.the part abput facial hair.

 

But you forgot hygiene

Men please please please understand that when you mix a scented deodorant with cologne, hair gel, after shave etc etc, it is literally nauseating!!!

 

Dont over do Cologne period

 

Nasal hair, between the eyebrows hair and for you older gentlemen ear hair need to be gone

 

Nicely kept teeth go.a long way too. A frirndly smile seems much less friendly when the mouth looks like you havent seen a dentist in years.

 

Most of that is common sense and yet I see men who dress nice but neglect important parts of their body all the time.

 

Edited to.add: if thats you in your avatar pic mr castle then never grow any facial haur ever, you got an amazing jaw line.

 

Haha thanks, but that's James Dean in my avatar

[StanMusial]

Have some scratch in the bank. And know how to spend it.

[ThaWholigan]

For both men and women:

 

Understand the difference between being yourself, and being a shell of yourself that you believe is yourself but isn't.

[JourneyLady]

All I like to do is play video games, watch porn and stare at myself in the mirror. There's got to be a female out there who would love me for that. Just kidding, I don't stare at myself in the mirror....

 

Probably is, as long as you share your porn with her. My ex-bf wouldn't share and liked to hide it from me. :-( I think it would have been more fun getting each other off while watching. I guess he was more in love with his hand than my mouth...

[JourneyLady]

Oh and don't pick your nose in public. That's just gross. Use a tissue and don't drop your boogers in my car! I know it's a sometimes messy and older vehicle, but honestly I don't like to think about accidentally touching your boogers when I'm vacuuming in my car or house! (Or rolling over on them in bed.)