Disco Lemonade Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Do you think an actual "goodbye" is necessary closure for a failed relationship? I had a short (6 week) relationship "end" a few months ago, only in some ways it never did end. She told me she wanted me to remain her friend and "emotional support," and so the breakup wasn't a real breakup. Things changed after I started dating someone else, because she felt weird after that and we only randomly talk now. Even though it was a short relationship, it was a close one in which we would spend pretty much all of our free time together or talking on the phone about every intimate part of our lives. I kind of feel like there should be an actual "goodbye" message, but don't know if I should do it, and if so, how? Considered sending flowers, rather than doing it by text (too impersonal) or a surprise phone call. Does this sound like a valid idea, or would flowers be weird at this point? I have kind of been triggered into this feeling after being contacted out of nowhere by an ex of mine from a few years ago. I don't want to be her, still contacting someone that it didn't work out with long after the relationship is over, and kind of want to put an official end to it. I do really care about the person I want to say goodbye to, and want whatever I do to be the easiest thing for both of us. It just seems like the random text messages, drifting away approach isn't a good way. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.
ponchsox Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 The dumper is saying goodbye when they breakup with you. The dumpee says goodbye bye going NC. 2
pickflicker Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 The dumper is saying goodbye when they breakup with you. The dumpee says goodbye bye going NC. This. (10charact)
Author Disco Lemonade Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 The complication is that I should have done that from day one. I made the mistake of agreeing to be her "friend." Should I still just ignore any contact from her? Kind of messed up the whole NC thing when I agreed to that.
iworthmore Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 i did read ur post 3 times to understand it well. it was short RS. she ended things and wanted u to be her friend for emotional support? she used you. u started dating another girl then why u worry about saying goodbye? i know u care abt her and wanna say it in appropriate way. but i think the whole thing is overrated. she dumped u. invest your time and thoughts on ur new RS to make it work and last forever. stay NC with her or just forget abt her. ur dating someone else, stay NC and she will understand that its the time for her to stop contacting, anyway i think she only using you. i hope i understood ur story right. anyway this is what i think. good luck
Author Disco Lemonade Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 That does make sense. I probably wasn't clear on that point of not only wanting to shut down my own communication, but hers as well. I guess I will just stay NC and hope that maybe it won't be an issue anyways. Getting contacted by an even longer ago ex today put me in a weird place, I think. Felt good to just type this out. Thanks for reading and replying.
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