jnr587 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 (edited) 31-year-old guy here. Started dating my girlfriend 8 months ago- we met through friends and instantly hit it off but she moved 400 miles away 2 months after we started dating. We'd had a good foundation to the relationship and we both agreed that we wanted to keep trying at it. The relationship has always been good- we see each other about once a month- but I feel it's been cooling off over the last couple months and times we've seen each other. We don't communicate very well and we've slowly grown apart. I saw her over Christmas but she just found out she got into graduate school in her current city and she'll be there for another 3 years. I plan on bringing it up with her- since the distance and our future has been the elephant in the room for the last few months- that I just don't know that I can do this. I like her but I don't love her. I think she's great and I do want to stay on good terms, but it just doesn't seem to be working. Do I need to travel to her to tell her this in person? I have never broken up long-distance before. We aren't planning to see each other for another month and I can't pretend like everything is okay until then. Edited January 4, 2014 by jnr587
deathandtaxes Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 You have to communicate all this to her. All your concerns you wrote here, tell her. I am very surprised your relationship survived past her moving away only after two months.
pickflicker Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Yes, you should travel there. Do the right thing. Good luck, let us know how it goes. :-) 2
Haydn Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Ditto ditto Yes, you should travel there. Do the right thing. Good luck, let us know how it goes. :-) 1
Crila16 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Coming from someone who got dumped via txt at 2:30am on a Monday morning by a 40 yr old man...yes you need to do it in person. Be a man, not a coward...please. She may hate you for a while, but in the long run once she's moved on and met someone else, she will look back and respect you. 1
David87 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 31-year-old guy here. Started dating my girlfriend 8 months ago- we met through friends and instantly hit it off but she moved 400 miles away 2 months after we started dating. We'd had a good foundation to the relationship and we both agreed that we wanted to keep trying at it. The relationship has always been good- we see each other about once a month- but I feel it's been cooling off over the last couple months and times we've seen each other. We don't communicate very well and we've slowly grown apart. I saw her over Christmas but she just found out she got into graduate school in her current city and she'll be there for another 3 years. I plan on bringing it up with her- since the distance and our future has been the elephant in the room for the last few months- that I just don't know that I can do this. I like her but I don't love her. I think she's great and I do want to stay on good terms, but it just doesn't seem to be working. Do I need to travel to her to tell her this in person? I have never broken up long-distance before. We aren't planning to see each other for another month and I can't pretend like everything is okay until then. For the love of God please travel there, I got dumped twice by text .It hurt really bad.
lostsoul4286 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I dumped via e-mail, coward's way out. I'll never do that again.
radiodarcy Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 It would be best if you go and tell her in person. I was dumped twice via email and another time via IM and it made me feel even worse. It made me feel as though he was protecting his own (temporary) feelings of guilt and discomfort instead of respecting my feelings and telling me face to face. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 In person is best but 400 miles is about a 6-7 hour drive. If you can't get there in person at least tell her over the phone (voice) or on Skype. Do NOT break up with her via written word only (FB, text, or e-mail)
Author jnr587 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Well that settles what I already suspected! But surprised to hear so many email/IM/text breakups?! I figured a phone or Skype conversation was the minimum...
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