ihavegonecrazy Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 So i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.We have had our up and downs but always worked through them together.I really love him and we are very good together. So my problem is about a month ago his friend (female) whom he hasnt spoken to in years called him up at about 1am.He was polite said how she was doing and said he was with his girlfriend and said my name.after they got of the phone i said he was it he said a friend then i asked who.he then explained it was his friend,they havent spoken in about a year and that they have never been romantically involved and he thought it was odd she was calling at 1am. I kinda of was ok with it until when i was with him she called again 2 weeks later he answered and asked how something went then said he would call her later cause he was doing something.I asked him if it was her again and he said she been having a hard time with life and her boyfriend,so she been ringing him asking for advice. he said she was like a lil sister and she can call him at any time. i left it at then then a week later she calls again he answers.and said he was just at home with me.I then asked him does she call him alot etc. He said she has been calling alot and he thinks its cause she bored.i asked what they talk about he said lots of things including me and this concert we went to and she was at.He also said she was very happy for him.he said they don't talk daily and he doesn't ring her but will call her back if he see a missed call from her. I trust my boyfriend but i dont trust this girl for some reason.I looked in his phone and he had deleted lots of the call history to just missed calls and 1 sec calls.So all the convo they had for long had been erased.I haven't spoken to him about this but i find it very fishy.Im not sure if he did this to save an argument with me as we have had discussions about female friends in the past. They havent met up at all as she lives a while away. I looked at her twitter and there are lots of post to her boyfriend or ex now boyfriend saying she misses him and he the only one for her etc. Am i just over reacting? I do feel uncomfortable about her calling him a lot just cause she bored etc.
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I would not be concerned. If there's never been any romantic history between the two and he is upfront with her about you, then I wouldn't worry about it. I have a VERY close male friend and he or I will call each other from time to time to catch up, talk about our relationships, etc. He's like my brother. We can go months without a conversation and then one day be on the phone for an hour. If I'm taking a long road trip, I will call him, and he will stay on the phone and chat with me to keep me alert while driving (I have bluetooth). I'm in a relationship and he is engaged. His fiance knows all about me and has no issues with it because she knows we have no romantic interest or past whatsoever. I also speak to her from time to time on FB or whatever. We do not think of each other in that way at all, and I would assume its the same with your bf, unless something else indicates otherwise. In my opinion, having a boyfriend that can view women as people, friends, etc and not just as objects of desire is a PLUS, not a negative.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 So i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.We have had our up and downs but always worked through them together.I really love him and we are very good together. So my problem is about a month ago his friend (female) whom he hasnt spoken to in years called him up at about 1am.He was polite said how she was doing and said he was with his girlfriend and said my name.after they got of the phone i said he was it he said a friend then i asked who.he then explained it was his friend,they havent spoken in about a year and that they have never been romantically involved and he thought it was odd she was calling at 1am. I kinda of was ok with it until when i was with him she called again 2 weeks later he answered and asked how something went then said he would call her later cause he was doing something.I asked him if it was her again and he said she been having a hard time with life and her boyfriend,so she been ringing him asking for advice. he said she was like a lil sister and she can call him at any time. i left it at then then a week later she calls again he answers.and said he was just at home with me.I then asked him does she call him alot etc. He said she has been calling alot and he thinks its cause she bored.i asked what they talk about he said lots of things including me and this concert we went to and she was at.He also said she was very happy for him.he said they don't talk daily and he doesn't ring her but will call her back if he see a missed call from her. I trust my boyfriend but i dont trust this girl for some reason.I looked in his phone and he had deleted lots of the call history to just missed calls and 1 sec calls.So all the convo they had for long had been erased.I haven't spoken to him about this but i find it very fishy.Im not sure if he did this to save an argument with me as we have had discussions about female friends in the past. They havent met up at all as she lives a while away. I looked at her twitter and there are lots of post to her boyfriend or ex now boyfriend saying she misses him and he the only one for her etc. Am i just over reacting? I do feel uncomfortable about her calling him a lot just cause she bored etc. Hm...the two things that strike me as off are the time of her calls (1 a.m. - why so late, especially after having not seen each other for a long time?) and the fact that he's deleted some calls. I think it's likely that she calls a lot more than he lets on and he doesn't want to alarm you. Given that there have been arguments before, he's probably trying to avoid further problems. Keep your eyes and ears open. But, if I can ask, what were your previous arguments re: female friends about? The good thing is that he obviously isn't hiding you or your relationship at all. It doesn't sound like he's doing something he shouldn't be. She sounds rather annoying, though.
Author ihavegonecrazy Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Hm...the two things that strike me as off are the time of her calls (1 a.m. - why so late, especially after having not seen each other for a long time?) and the fact that he's deleted some calls. I think it's likely that she calls a lot more than he lets on and he doesn't want to alarm you. Given that there have been arguments before, he's probably trying to avoid further problems. Keep your eyes and ears open. But, if I can ask, what were your previous arguments re: female friends about? The good thing is that he obviously isn't hiding you or your relationship at all. It doesn't sound like he's doing something he shouldn't be. She sounds rather annoying, though. he hid a friendship with a female friend(who had a boyfriend) completely from me as he thought i would like it and i didnt trust him.I fount out via his emails.We have moved past from that he no longer message or calls the other female.She did send a group text out saying she got engaged on Christmas day that he received.
winny Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Even after years of marriage similar situation happened between my parents. A woman who is a relative on my father's side started calling him a lot. Asking advice about the problems in her marriage. My father being a simple man would take her calls n talk to her. This irritated my mother n she had arguments with my father... I was a teenager then... My father was like - I don't love talking to her so much but I cannot say no. So one fine day when she called my mom picked the phone n said - plz DO NOT call my husband ever again... He is not responsible for resolving your marriage issues. U r creating problems in our life. Where were u all this time n suddenly u r trying to be so friendly. That woman said - u r over reacting. My mom - that's not your problem. Just stop calling him. After that she never called n all was good once again. Sometimes we women have to take a lead to protect our relationships. Tell your bf how uncomfortable you are... Bcoz she is not his good friend n u have not met her personally... So either he stood talking to her or introduces you two so that u know who n how she is....
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