irc333 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 With the recent posts about the Meetup site here on L.S., I'm convinced that some people are just "cruising" said events as opposed to really just chilin' out and not giving much thought to "finding the one" as oppose to enjoying the event itself, and not much focused on fellowship or starting friendships. Some of the things that come to mind, I'm a member of a outdoors related group. They do a lot of hiking, camping, and kayaking. Of course, most meetups tend to have only about 10% of those really actively participating. A couple of years ago, I recall a Halloween Party that a Asst. Organizer had posted at his place through the "Outdoors" group. THe RSVPs pretty much BLEW UP. There were members that were coming out of the woodwork, I noticed this one woman had been a member of the Meetup since 2011 and hadn't attended a single hiking event or any related event, but this Halloween Party. I got to talking to her, introduced myself, found out this information from her, she was like, "Yeah, just never really got a chance to get out much until now", she was kind of stuck up though, wasn't much for conversing. Never saw her again. Quite a few others did the same. One woman actually picked up a guy and went home with him, (he was one of our regulars, but he wasn't complaining. LOL). Though, this is a question I'm pondering, does this say they are superficial, and they are so focused on one thing that they completely negate any other social interactions almost deliberately ?
Scales Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I had trouble with meet ups as opposed to OLD as everyone there is usually looking to meet someone. Not to mention I am still in my 20s and nearly everyone that shows up to most of the events is late 30s to 50s even if they are open to all ages. I also found a lot of the time women asking me within the first 3 lines of conversation what I do trying to figure out my pay grade. I usually would just evade the question in an interesting way, but anything that wasn't immediately sounding lucrative made women talk to the next guy. I like my job and its not bad, I just hate when women ask me that right off the bat. Smells fishy to me. Also a lot of meetups i went to had people inviting others from match.com so it became a date with strangers. talk about weird. I went to karaoke night and I ended up being the only one to sing. Yeah no thanks. Maybe you have to try and find a decent groups but I tried several and it wasn't so good. I have more fun at night clubs which isn't saying much. People are definitely cruising at meetups, and its hyper competitive to the point no one is there to have a good time.
Author irc333 Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Yeah, in some Meetups there's kind of an older crowd, esp. with the outdoor groups for some reason. LOL. But I just enjoy the event. Also, in some cases, there's more women than there are men...so figure that one out. I noticed with the younger meetups, they mostly hit night spots or clubbing. Some meetups, it's new faces every time I go to an event, so they can be a bit of a revolving door. I had trouble with meet ups as opposed to OLD as everyone there is usually looking to meet someone. Not to mention I am still in my 20s and nearly everyone that shows up to most of the events is late 30s to 50s even if they are open to all ages. I also found a lot of the time women asking me within the first 3 lines of conversation what I do trying to figure out my pay grade. I usually would just evade the question in an interesting way, but anything that wasn't immediately sounding lucrative made women talk to the next guy. I like my job and its not bad, I just hate when women ask me that right off the bat. Smells fishy to me. Also a lot of meetups i went to had people inviting others from match.com so it became a date with strangers. talk about weird. I went to karaoke night and I ended up being the only one to sing. Yeah no thanks. Maybe you have to try and find a decent groups but I tried several and it wasn't so good. I have more fun at night clubs which isn't saying much. People are definitely cruising at meetups, and its hyper competitive to the point no one is there to have a good time.
Imported Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 OP, I am gonna guess you have restraining orders filed against you.
JourneyLady Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I like Meetups myself. It's sometimes pretty hard to know whether I'm going to something sometimes because I have to fight depression pretty hard, and I'm an INFP - so in a large crowd, I am sometimes uncomfortable. Still there are the occasional times when I feel more outgoing than usual or events that I don't worry about being an introvert much. One of my first events I went to was an amusement park. I tend to join those that cater to my interests. I joined a spiritual group and still have friends in it that I see regularly. When in my previous city, it was the Meetup group that got me to know places I would not have known otherwise, and that I went with my ex-bf for actual "dates". (Rare). If you are in a several Meetups with large groups, you can find that they all tend to pick similar days for events -- with the result you have to pick the one that most meets your needs. My problem is likely that the guy for me is probably sitting home reading a book with only the occasional walk on the trail nearby, researches a lot and spends time with his animal (cat or dog). He might show up at a large group affair, but the number of women is larger than men in those events and I will be overlooked (being chunky and not blonde and not professional looking). I am a country girl at heart really. But I have learned it is easier for men to approach when you are not in a group of women. So when in the mood, I go out alone. I went to a free Christmas dinner alone and got asked for my number right off.
carhill Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I recall running into someone at a meetup who reminded me of the OP. An observer, gathering data and collating it and forming inquiries, theories and assertions from those observations. This was back when 'meetups' were called 'clubs'. I recognized such people since I was a bit of an observer myself, being reticent to be the center of attention. What I noted was that people joined clubs for all different sorts of reasons and, essentially, did what they wanted to do. Some were trolling for dates; some were obsessed with the interest. Some were passing time. There are as many reasons as people. Social associations are like that.
Author irc333 Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Right you could tell that some men were eager to make a beeline to the platinum blonde at the corner of the room, him along with 2 other guys. LOL. Anyhow, I tried talking to a guy about something of his interests, but he was very short with me...seemed distracted....turns out he was eyeballing a cute lady that just walked in the door. He eventually found a reason to approach her and concluded our conversation. LOL Some men won't talk to people of the same gender to much at some of these events. But it's funny how sometime men tend to crowd a single pretty woman at an event. Oh, yeah, before Meetups it was called "Networking Mixers" or typically "<Na me of city > Social Club" I recall running into someone at a meetup who reminded me of the OP. An observer, gathering data and collating it and forming inquiries, theories and assertions from those observations. This was back when 'meetups' were called 'clubs'. I recognized such people since I was a bit of an observer myself, being reticent to be the center of attention. What I noted was that people joined clubs for all different sorts of reasons and, essentially, did what they wanted to do. Some were trolling for dates; some were obsessed with the interest. Some were passing time. There are as many reasons as people. Social associations are like that.
Frank2thepoint Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I also found a lot of the time women asking me within the first 3 lines of conversation what I do trying to figure out my pay grade...Smells fishy to me. Those women were interviewing you to see if your current salary fits into their idea of a comfortable life. Few years back I was part of a co-ed touch football meetup. The first couple of months was great because a lot of women were there. There was a little exercise, some sweating, lots of touching obviously otherwise the opposing team scores, etc. I had a date with a girl from the meetup, but nothing came out of it. The meetup spiraled into a sausage fest, with a bunch of faux-jocks pretending to be professional football players, scared all the women away, and made some guys uncomfortable because we weren't looking to get injured for real. If you have too many dudes at a meetup, it will eventually turn into a sword fight.
Scales Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 If you have too many dudes at a meetup, it will eventually turn into a sword fight. Actually even if there aren't many dudes, there is always a sword fight in an adult mix kind of event for the top 3 ladies in the room. I mean I would be talking to one girl and guys just come up and jump into the conversation: and by jump i mean just start talking them while I am still talking. I am well versed in dealing with other guys now from experience so it doesn't bother me. Game face is always on if I'm on the hunt.
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