Kageoni Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Ok so i work in a hospital as a trainee pharmacy tech and recently ive been transfered too another site because they have a department i need experience in. Anyway i got chatting to this girl there and well i started to fall for her. Only thing is she has a bf... Now im not that kind of guy to break up couples but from day one she didnt say she had a bf. we just got talking and we had a lot in common, which was unusual as shes not normally type. I also thought she was extremely cute but out meeting was cut short due to my tea break being over. The next time we opened up abit more to each other and we told each other about our pasts. I told her about my ex, my depression and self harming and she told me that she has had the same problems but has also had social anxiety issues. I also told her i was gonna die by 40 just know i will, too which she replied so will i unless i have kids. she also briefly mentioned her bf. i sed to her why does she have a bf, shes perfect too which she replied "i just am" weird answer imo. Were perfect for each other but again our time was cut short and has we left i said il get her number and she was about to give it but i eas in a rush and finished my sentence and said next time i see her which she responded with ok in a sad way. I saw her yesterday but the tea room was crowded so it was just a hello as shes shy around big groups of people and at lunch i saw her with her bf. i didnt realise at first but i asked her in the afternoon and i recalled it. Weird thing is neither of them spoke. I asked around about them and apparently they dont talk much, hes a posh boy too (i come from a council estate) So do you think shes interested in me? I really like her and its crazy how much we have in common and the way we act it just seems like destiny. However if shes happy i dont want to interfere, i only want her too be happy.
SamB167 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Tricky, I think it's right that you don't interfere with her current relationship. Just because you seem unsure about her relationship doesn't mean it's on the rocks for her. Just think if you were in a relationship with some girl and she met a bloke who then started interfering in your relationship how would you feel? If she is unhappy in her relationship you will eventually find out. If you start really connecting and she starts talking about how her relationship isn't working out, etc. Be careful you might put yourself in the friend-zone. I'm not saying don't be supportive, but just be careful. I've ended up in the friend-zone very recently not a cool place. I tried to be the one who supported her when she split up from a long-term relationship, it hasn't dont me any good. I wanted her to just be happy, but at my expense, think about how you will feel if that happens. I'm not sure if this post is helpful, but I wouldn't want you to make the same mistakes I did. 1
Frank2thepoint Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 She has a boyfriend, so you are in a no-win situation already. Understand this first. Let it seep in and rattle your brain a bit. Further, as SamB167 covered, you don't want to be that pariah that tries to break up her relationship, because if you are successful and get with her, what's stopping it from happening to you? In addition, it's not gentleman like to meddle in her personal affairs. Lastly, take this opportunity as a means of becoming friends with her. Just be friends. You will get to know her, be able to share laughs, and talk about things without the complications of romantic feelings. In the long run, you never know what will happen. You may end up learning a lot about yourself and what you are looking for in a woman. You may end up realizing this girl may not be a positive person in general.
Author Kageoni Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Tricky, I think it's right that you don't interfere with her current relationship. Just because you seem unsure about her relationship doesn't mean it's on the rocks for her. Just think if you were in a relationship with some girl and she met a bloke who then started interfering in your relationship how would you feel? If she is unhappy in her relationship you will eventually find out. If you start really connecting and she starts talking about how her relationship isn't working out, etc. Be careful you might put yourself in the friend-zone. I'm not saying don't be supportive, but just be careful. I've ended up in the friend-zone very recently not a cool place. I tried to be the one who supported her when she split up from a long-term relationship, it hasn't dont me any good. I wanted her to just be happy, but at my expense, think about how you will feel if that happens. I'm not sure if this post is helpful, but I wouldn't want you to make the same mistakes I did. Yeah its not my place to interfere with her relationship, ultimately i just want her to be happy. Il carry on speaking to her and see where it goes though, i feel like we could have something special if she was single but i wont cause her to break up. I wont end up in the friend zone lol
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