Feels like I'm going through a breakup even though I have her back.

[Danny Dee]

Hi Everyone.

 

I'm back again, need more advice please. Well me & my gf of 5 years broke up for only a matter of days just over a month ago. I initiated the breakup as I just knew she had changed.

 

Anyway since we got back together things haven't been exactly perfect we don't really argue etc but I still no she's being very cold etc. Anytime I have brought up anything about this she genuinely seems oblivious and says she things our fine.

 

The major differences I have noticed with her is she is more in touch with her old friends etc both of whom are single. I would normally not have a problem with this as I have always encouraged her to go with her friends in fact I made this known to her several times. Also she recently got her Facebook back at the request of her friends despite me asking her for several months to get it back. Sounds silly I know but I just feel although she's really withdrawing from me she defo dosent contact me as much & I am not a possessive type so I like to leave her to it.

 

I just constantly feel down & i am constant edge & I feel like I am going through a breakup even though we are still officially together. I am still in lone with this girl & I am fed up of feeling like I am losing her could this be a case of me overthinking things or do you guys think I have real cause for concern?

 

Advice greatly appreciated thanks.

[thompkevin]

Did she try to understand how you feel when you brought this up with her? Did she seem concerned about your worries? If not, then you have a problem.

[Danny Dee]

She got emotional & cried. She also said her new years resolution was to be nicer to me so she obv knows shes mistreating me. I just don't feel settled any more but really don't Want to keep bringing things up because that in itself could push her away. Just at a loss what to do. I don't want to split up with her but im not sure if im just delaying the inevitable.

 

Thanks for the advice.

[CelticGibson]

This looks suspiciously like she's back with you in order to ween off of you. Sometimes it's easier to stay with someone if you are still emotionally attached. You took the pre-emptive step of ending it before she had the chance to flush any residual emotions so she could deliver the fatal blow a little way down the line. From her behaviour, her unwillingness to discuss the reasons why you both split and her reluctance to make that effort to make it work, it looks like you may be right... you are delaying the inevitable...

[Danny Dee]

This looks suspiciously like she's back with you in order to ween off of you. Sometimes it's easier to stay with someone if you are still emotionally attached. You took the pre-emptive step of ending it before she had the chance to flush any residual emotions so she could deliver the fatal blow a little way down the line. From her behaviour, her unwillingness to discuss the reasons why you both split and her reluctance to make that effort to make it work, it looks like you may be right... you are delaying the inevitable...

 

Hmm have to say I probably agree, although i do think I am in a bit of denial. If I am 100 % honest I think the only things keeping me with her are a fear of being single & I know that I won't see her again if we break up & saying goodbye to someone after 5 years where we have both been so happy just is to hard to bare. Maybe it's time I manned up. I'll be with her this weekend so I am going to play it cook & see how she is with me.

 

Thanks

[2fargone]

So you're gonna play it cool, yet expect her not to be. Yes, that'll work...

 

 

You broke up with her, then you got back together. It seems only logical that she doesn't jump in full force again.