giggles1020 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Help me please..I am dumbfounded. The most perfect girl entered my life 6 months ago, we hit it off like 2 peas in-a-pod. Did all the normal stuff- spent tons of time togeather, damced, drank... great sex. She has 2 kids. About 2 months ago, the kids moved in to my house. We struggled at first with "what goes where" and had small disagreements about where the couch goes, kind of stuff. I changed my whole life, to suit this Mom and her two kids. They didnt even help pay rent. This girl is super intelligent and, and can be very reactive at times. She freaked out.. multiple times... She has tried to move out 3 times, had her stuff packed and every thing. I talked her off the ledge all three times. This time, she is going for good. She is going to live in a house her EX owns....very close to him. She claims it will make her life easier, (School, food, child care etc... lots of reasons) The KICKER is, she says she still wants to stay togeather. She "loves" me, and wont cheat on me. Since she decided to move out- it has put alot of stress on the relationship...I feel like we are taking 10 steps back, and all the things we could have fixed with patience and a little work...I couldnt do for her.Im hurt, and my ego is too. She really wants to be in that house. What does this mean?? Are we done?? How should I approach this? I dont want to get hurt or screwed around.. but she is in control of "us" completely now. Am I just a Dick? She says, "It will be ok, I will come over, and YOU can spend some nights with me...blah blahh" "We can work on our problems". Ive been through this before!!! I'm weary... Please help friends. Thoughts?? Giggles
TheBestisYettoCome Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I'll just throw my experience up here for you as something to consider. In March of last year, my now ex gf of 3 and a half years, 1 and a half living together, decided that she too needed to move out. She gave me almost the exact same lines, "this doesn't mean we can't be together", "the commute is too long from work", "I feel like I need to be in the city", you know the deal. Thing was, I knew exactly what it meant. You do too. It's more than a hassle to move anywhere, even across the street, and especially away from someone you "love". Needless to say, that relationship ended rather quickly, about 3 weeks later, with her having already lined someone else up before the move. Life isn't supposed to be easier, it's supposed to be more fulfilling, with the people you love. You seem like a great guy, doing all of that for her and her kids. Unfortunately, now is the time you have to start distancing yourself from this relationship and begin the process of moving on from it. If she, she, wants you to be in her life, she'll make sure you are, but lengthen that rope a long, long ways, focus on you, and she'll do all of the work if she wants to be with you. Just my opinion!
CC12 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I feel like we are taking 10 steps back That's probably for the best, since you guys already took 10 steps forward way too quickly. Dialing it back seems like the reasonable thing to do. You guys only knew each other for 4 months before she and her two kids moved in with you. That seems like an extremely impulsive, irresponsible decision. She shouldn't have done that, and you shouldn't have let her. You've also since had several arguments and she tried to move out three time. It's not working. Let her move out and establish a home for herself and her kids. Then maybe you can try again.
mammasita Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 First off, and I hope you know this.....you moved in WAY to soon.....especially with kids involved. Can you imagine what's going through their minds right now? Her poor kids Secondly, and unfortunately....the same thing happened to me. My ex fiancé decided that he wanted to move out but still be with me. It was the beginning of the end for us. I tried to kid myself, but it was just pure torture until I finally decided enough was enough. I'm not saying it's impossible for you to be together, but the fact is she does need to build a home independent of you.
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