All of this is my fault.

[sw2020]

Dude, there's loads of support on this forum for you. I can see you're in a really crappy place right now. It must be really hard.

 

Only you can decide when you want to stop feeling crappy and make it happen.

 

You don't have to decide where you wanna go, you just need to decide that you don't wish to remain where you're at.

 

What is your diet like and exercise routine like? I find that when I eat clean and train well I sleep better, feel better and have more energy to do positive things.

[Fufu]

I personally feel you went in too fast and too strong in this relationship.

 

Sometimes I feel that when people are very in love with their partner, they tend to lose track of pace.

 

It's a new relationship, everything is fragile. While you want to build up the bond within one another, do remember that at this point of time, individuals' pace and thinking of the relationship they are in are most likely different.

 

The beginning of a new relationship is when both are curious about one another and wants to get know each other better.

 

A new relationship at this stage I feel is better to be light-hearten and enjoy each other's accompany when spent together and not too heavily invested in emotions.

 

As the relationship matures and the pace is appropriate, both will fall in love with each other more emotionally....

 

I can tell you I ever question whether my bf loves me or not, but before I question him or make a big fuss out of it, I question myself numerous times is this necessary to let him know at this point of time? Or is it my over-reaction? We tend to jump into assumption and wants an answer immediately in a relationship, but sometimes it's about self-controlling our emotions too.

 

It's your first love, don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes, it is just not meant to be. Learn to forgive yourself is also a virtue for you to open up to be ready and accept your next love (when you are ready)

[Afailure]

@broken_hearted1:I'm dealing bad.yesterday she passed by me in the hall with 2 of her friends and she didn't even look at me,she was happy and joking but i was non existent to her.

I saw her boyfriend in the bus today,he was heading towards her home to pick her up,seeing him destroyed me even more.I felt sick,i had to control myself from crying but eventually i caved in when i arrived home and let the tears burst out.

The fact that i was in that boy's place 9 months ago plunged me into a deeper depression.

I can barely eat and i'm getting skinnier as each day passes by.

I can never love someone else again,she was my only love.

 

@sw2020:thanks for the encouragement,currently i took a break from working out because i have to get ready for exams.

 

@fufu:I will never forgive myself,she was truly one of a kind.And the fact about the loss of pace when people are in love is true,but is it truly that bad,does time really matter when 2 people truly love each other?

I don't think i'm ever going to date again unless the next girl is an exact copy of her,i will not settle for anyone else,how can i?I wanted her so bad,waited for her so long and to lose it because of stupidity is an agony that is unbearable,it is a pain only equal to losing your parents.

I don't feel alive anymore,i feel dead,without purpose,i'm a walking corpse,if someone told me that today was my last day i would welcome the end without fear,she gave me a reason to smile.

While puting your happiness in someone else's hands is wrong i know,i trusted her completely,and with more care,i would have succeeded,i would have had her for the rest of my pathetic and useless life.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Afailure

[Broken_Hearted1]

I can almost feel you bro! Just like you I rushed things forward...Hell i don't care if i had to stand in the rain for her! You know y ? Because i really loved her...and no matter what i would give my full effort!

 

I don't know if she understood that...but what i know is that it's not wrong to really love someone! At least we know how to love!

[Chi townD]

Wow! That was a novel....

 

Okay, you didn't move too fast....YOU WENT LIGHT SPEED!!!

 

You were upset that you kissed her on the second date when you thought she didn't want it, but then you tell her you LOVE her on the second date?!?! That would have sent the majority of girls running for the hills. You wanted her to meet your father within weeks and vice versa with her family. Most relationships don't even know if they're serious about each other or even exclusive in the first couple of weeks. But, you wanted to meet EVERYONE like you were planting a flag or something.

 

Okay, the first sexual intimacy, you respected her boundaries a you did the right thing. But, then when you were walking in the park and sex talk starts; she says she wanted to wait, and you told her the most guys only wait about two months. How the hell would you know this? You stated that this was your first relationship. Rule of thumb, we are ALWAYS on the girls timeline, they are not on yours. Although, even though guys can respect a girl boundaries, a girl shouldn't get mad if we test the waters every once in a while. I mean, we're guys after all and girls know this so it should come as a surprise to them if we try every once in a while. But, when they say "no" then we go back to respecting those boundaries.

 

Personal thoughts on this? You're a good guy. I can see it in your writing. But, the sex talk was just the excuse she needed to end it with you. I think that you were moving at light speed and it scared her. She was looking for one thing, one hiccup to pull the plug on the relationship. She saw a window of opportunity and she took it.

 

You state that now she looks at you with disgust. Do not take that personally. She knows you're a good guy, that's why she had to demonize you in her mind so she could ease her guilt about the break up.

 

Time to move on dude. And take this as a life lesson. Rule of thumb, SLOW DOWN! If a girl really likes you and you treat her with kindness and respect, then she's not going anywhere. So, take your time. I mean, my God, I'm pretty convinced that if this went to six months, you would have been on one knee with a ring. Relax! Enjoy the time with the next girl. Don't rush into things.

 

You need to let this one go and learn from this. Again, your a good guy, I can see that. Just, slow down, things happen in there own time.

[Afailure]

I can almost feel you bro! Just like you I rushed things forward...Hell i don't care if i had to stand in the rain for her! You know y ? Because i really loved her...and no matter what i would give my full effort!

 

I don't know if she understood that...but what i know is that it's not wrong to really love someone! At least we know how to love!

 

You know what hurts the most?There are people out there who do unforgivable things such as cheating or even hiting their partner and yet they stay because despite the physical or psychological torture they go through,they love their partners.Tell me,how do these kind of people get love,compassion?

 

Despite things being rocky sometimes i never would have left her,never would have betrayed her,i never once thought about other women when i was with her,she was the only one in my mind.Have i done a mistake by mentioning sex or touching her more privately when we were out,even though i made sure no one could see it and it was so soon in the relationship?Yes,i did wrong,but i did it out my love for her not because i was a jerk who just wanted to be in her pants and leaver.She was my goddess

 

I may have rushed,said or done things i shouldn't have done,may have been immature ,but despite my flaws,in the end if she would have stayed she would have been happy.I never ever forbade her to go out with her friends.I may have been suffocating and annoying and maybe sometimes jealous but not the extreme violent kind of jealous.I NEVER WOULD HAVE EVEN RAISED MY ARM AT HER and I NEVER insulted her.

 

You know what is worse?Everywhere i look now i see people getting back together.Right after we broke all i could see is people reconciling.It's as if i'm being punished for my mistakes which compared to other people are insignificant.

 

Finding a relationship at this age is extremely difficult because all the truly relationship material girls are taken.

 

Now her new boyfriend makes her happy,happier than she was with me and i wish that when i go to sleep that it would all end as everyday i wake up is a nightmare.I look into the mirror and all i see is a useless,worthless sack of crap,i'm disgusted with myself.

I have been through so much these last 8 years, things that have taken their toll on me and she was my medicine.

The mere thought of her hugging him and kissing at this hour makes me want to vomit.

 

I fear going to sleep because she is there,sometimes i dream of her coming back and we kiss and hug and are happy together and it seems so real that i never want to wake up,other times i dream about her and her new boyfriend and i wake up drenched in sweat,trying to catch my breath.

 

And now,i am 100% percent sure that in a few years,he will be her husband and i,like these last 8 years,still in this dark pit of despair and hopelesness that i tried so hard to climb but only to be brutally tossed back,this time deeper than before.

 

I have nobody but my father,i have no friend,my social life is practically non existent and the feel of being back in this place is a true curse.

 

I will never fulfill my fantasy of kneeling in front of her to ask her to spend her life with me in a few years.I will never hear her voice and laughter again and i will never feel her warm touch.

I tried so hard,so damn hard to be the best boyfriend and i failed,my intentions were pure but i failed to deliver.

[mantlefan]

Find a new fantasy, friend.

 

 

Seriously, when you feel like this, tell yourself to STOP IT.

 

 

You can't change what you did. But is all of what you are doing right now doing anyone any good? Maybe you're just venting on here, which is great, keep doing that. But if every day is misery and hell and terrible, that's when you need to realize that the world is a broken place, and that you and everyone else have to live in it. There is pain, but there is freedom in that pain, because you know there will always be some of it.

 

 

But you owe it to yourself to stop wallowing.

[Fufu]

@broken_hearted1:I'm dealing bad.yesterday she passed by me in the hall with 2 of her friends and she didn't even look at me,she was happy and joking but i was non existent to her.

I saw her boyfriend in the bus today,he was heading towards her home to pick her up,seeing him destroyed me even more.I felt sick,i had to control myself from crying but eventually i caved in when i arrived home and let the tears burst out.

The fact that i was in that boy's place 9 months ago plunged me into a deeper depression.

I can barely eat and i'm getting skinnier as each day passes by.

I can never love someone else again,she was my only love.

 

@sw2020:thanks for the encouragement,currently i took a break from working out because i have to get ready for exams.

 

@fufu:I will never forgive myself,she was truly one of a kind.And the fact about the loss of pace when people are in love is true,but is it truly that bad,does time really matter when 2 people truly love each other?

I don't think i'm ever going to date again unless the next girl is an exact copy of her,i will not settle for anyone else,how can i?I wanted her so bad,waited for her so long and to lose it because of stupidity is an agony that is unbearable,it is a pain only equal to losing your parents.

I don't feel alive anymore,i feel dead,without purpose,i'm a walking corpse,if someone told me that today was my last day i would welcome the end without fear,she gave me a reason to smile.

While puting your happiness in someone else's hands is wrong i know,i trusted her completely,and with more care,i would have succeeded,i would have had her for the rest of my pathetic and useless life.

 

 

You are doing yourself wrong by not forgiving yourself. Even though she is truly a one of a kind, the fact is everyone is one of a kind, you too.

 

You give in too fast and predict your own future too fast. You are still feeling the fresh of the break up. You have to learn to let go.

 

Everyone that gone through a heartbreak has most likely similar thoughts and feelings as you. I once couldn't let go of my ex, I only want him and only him and keep telling myself I only want someone that is like him.

 

But in the end, I just kept running in circles and everything just went downhill.

 

Open your heart, learn to forgive yourself. It's the crucial first step that you need to do for yourself. You don't own your happiness to her. Whatever it is, you done your part.

[Broken_Hearted1]

I am glad you mentioned that people stay in a relation even if they are being abused. One of female friend has been in such a relation...amazing how she tolerated it but last day i heard she had enough and broke it off! I guess these things happen so that we can learn from them.

 

I know i am acting strong but any moment now i will start feeling all ****ty again! I see all the good girls with the wrong guys who are not even close to anything i am...i mean i have manners..i treat them respect hell i even play the guitar lol....i have been thinking the exact same things u r thinking

 

just so u know there are guys like me like you...you are not alone...i will never forget her but next time i will think twice before giving my everything...in your case learn to control your feelings...next time when u feel u r getting obsessed with ur girl just think about this one

 

I am sure you will find another girl and i hope i will too...nothing like this one....but different...and we will fall in love in a whole new different way ......

 

Guess what i dreamt of her today and my whole morning has been ****ty...seems like we are in the same ship!

[Afailure]

I'm sorry,but i can't love anymore,i'm not the type that falls evey 5 minutes,it takes a lot for me to love after what i've been through and witnessed these days.It truly has to be a special person for me to fall in love with.This was my first,and most likely last time i every do it.I'm done with this,i promised myself to be patient and understanding by my mind failed me when i needed it the most.

 

I have learned from my mistakes,and if i would have had one damn last chance,it would have a been a totally different relationship.

 

Regarding things going too fast.I know went in with lightning speed because some couples i saw did things like introducing to parent,inviting them over to meet their parents and going in vacations together pretty soon and to this day they still are together.I just wanted to show her that she can really trust me and not be afraid of me even if things sometimes go with light speed.

But i don't blame her,she wanted to be sure about me and well,i failed my trial.

 

Trust me,i know my future,like i said,i have no friends and my social life is non existent,alone is the only way i'm going to be,there is no hope,no reason to smile and say things will be better,they were the best 9 months ago and never will be better again.

 

This event has changed me,i learned from my mistakes but i have become something else too,i cannot smile anymore,and all i feel now is pure hatred,hatred of myself,all the punches i got from life,all the things i wanted to do but failed and this last thing made me finally snap.There is no such thing as "things will get better over time"there is only agony,pain and hatred.

 

Prehaps my attitude right now is annoying as i only say negative things but so far i have no reason to be optimistic.Yes there are people at this moment who are drawing their last breath,are stricken with terrible diseases,people who have no homes or anything to eat,but to me this is something major,other people have no problem getting what they want,i have to wait YEARS in order to even have a victory,and when i do it is almost insignificant compared to what others can achieve.

 

All i wanted was to be like other people,happy, with someone who would never leave me no matter the crap that we go through,someone who would say "look,i know you have the best intentions,its alright,i forgive you and i will never leave you no matter what,we may do some things a bit too fast but i know you truly care about me."

 

How am i supposed to be happy when right now another bloke is holding in his arms my dream girl?Yes,he may do what i should have done but failed but is that a reason enough for me,who never wronged anyone to be put through cosntant agony?

 

Life isn't fair i know,but damn it some people just get it too easy and others for mistakes that are insignificant to what some do get brutally punched in the face by failure even though their intentions were pure.

 

I know i have no chances anymore and i have to let go,but i can't,my light in the dark is gone.

[Fufu]

I'm sorry,but i can't love anymore,i'm not the type that falls evey 5 minutes,it takes a lot for me to love after what i've been through and witnessed these days.It truly has to be a special person for me to fall in love with.This was my first,and most likely last time i every do it.I'm done with this,i promised myself to be patient and understanding by my mind failed me when i needed it the most.

 

I have learned from my mistakes,and if i would have had one damn last chance,it would have a been a totally different relationship.

 

Regarding things going too fast.I know went in with lightning speed because some couples i saw did things like introducing to parent,inviting them over to meet their parents and going in vacations together pretty soon and to this day they still are together.I just wanted to show her that she can really trust me and not be afraid of me even if things sometimes go with light speed.

But i don't blame her,she wanted to be sure about me and well,i failed my trial.

 

Trust me,i know my future,like i said,i have no friends and my social life is non existent,alone is the only way i'm going to be,there is no hope,no reason to smile and say things will be better,they were the best 9 months ago and never will be better again.

 

This event has changed me,i learned from my mistakes but i have become something else too,i cannot smile anymore,and all i feel now is pure hatred,hatred of myself,all the punches i got from life,all the things i wanted to do but failed and this last thing made me finally snap.There is no such thing as "things will get better over time"there is only agony,pain and hatred.

 

Prehaps my attitude right now is annoying as i only say negative things but so far i have no reason to be optimistic.Yes there are people at this moment who are drawing their last breath,are stricken with terrible diseases,people who have no homes or anything to eat,but to me this is something major,other people have no problem getting what they want,i have to wait YEARS in order to even have a victory,and when i do it is almost insignificant compared to what others can achieve.

 

All i wanted was to be like other people,happy, with someone who would never leave me no matter the crap that we go through,someone who would say "look,i know you have the best intentions,its alright,i forgive you and i will never leave you no matter what,we may do some things a bit too fast but i know you truly care about me."

 

How am i supposed to be happy when right now another bloke is holding in his arms my dream girl?Yes,he may do what i should have done but failed but is that a reason enough for me,who never wronged anyone to be put through cosntant agony?

 

Life isn't fair i know,but damn it some people just get it too easy and others for mistakes that are insignificant to what some do get brutally punched in the face by failure even though their intentions were pure.

 

I know i have no chances anymore and i have to let go,but i can't,my light in the dark is gone.

 

 

No one is asking you to fall in love every 5 minutes.

 

But it is a tragic that you give up completely on yourself to ever love again near future. You need time to grieve, need time to heal and recover. Recovery is not an immediate thing, and no one can tell you how long you will take. But you have the power to choose to make the right decision, whether you want to stuck in the past, or move on and start a great new chapter of your life. Dude, you are still young, plenty of great opportunities of life ahead of you. Cherish it.

 

Friends, some people make friends later in their life. Does it matter if you have no friends now? No it doesn't. The thing is what you gonna do to your life starting now.

 

Mistakes are made, no one is a saint in a relationship. Everyone makes mistakes. it's all about forgiving and able to compromise with one another, that's what make a relationship works. No one is ever perfect in a relationship. You will hear that people that make the best out of the relationship is not because everything is perfect and nice. It's because they respect each other differences, compromise with one another, tolerate each other and always ready to work things out when there are any hiccups or challenges faced. People who let go easily in relationship, so be it. We don't force them to stay in a relationship with us. If they want out, we respect them.

 

You have every reason to be optimistic, it's your life. Your ex doesn't bring you to this world, remember this. She was part of your life before, but she doesn't complete you at all.

 

Come back to the reality.

 

Don't take the end of this relationship like that's it worst thing in your life. Be glad that we are far far more fortunate than so many people out there. It's a terrible thing to lose hope in yourself.

 

There are many of us who went through lots of heartbreaks, been through ups and downs but we don't give up on ourselves. Why give up on yourself just because of one relationship doesn't work out well.

 

 

 

When my ex left me, I too had thoughts of giving up my life and went completely blackout in my life. I was just a zombie, but what good it did for me?" Nothing at all, I became more depressed in life, I couldn't eat and drink and seriously look hella worst during that period. I thought I could just live it out but I realized it doesn't help at all and I miss my ex even more. Back to square one~ WHY DO I HAVE SUFFER THE BREAK UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN when he doesn't even want me. Trust me, I was like you, I blamed myself for making mistakes that ultimately caused him to leave me.

 

I was there and experienced it....

 

What hit me hard was when I realised I'm not only doing myself injustice, I'm doing my family injustice. They were in pain seeing me in pain. How could I be so selfish giving up myself when my family is there for me. (there are always people out there who care about you)

 

Cherish people who love us, doesn't what we learn in our break up. We made mistakes but why do we have to make the same mistakes to people that are close to us. Double-stupid.

 

I woke up, I stop being selfish and foolish and start to move on for real.

 

Make the right choice dude, you don't deserve putting yourself in such a miserable stage. I've been there and I can tell you exactly what I've been through.

 

Took me close to 3 years to wake up, why follow my path? It is not worth it at all. The earlier you realized this, the better it is for you sooner.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Fufu

[Chi townD]

Geez dude, really?!?!

 

So, you first true relationship didn't work out. It's not the end of the world! I'm on here because I got screwed over pretty damn good. But, I got my life together and I couldn't be more happy with my life right now. Therefore, I come on here to help folks heal from their pain and to give them advice and the tools that they need in order to have a fantastic life.

 

So, you need to stop this self hatred right now! Okay, so you moved way too fast. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. You just got kicked in the nuts a little. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off! Where you physically abusive to her, where you mentally abusive to her? Did you mistreat her? Did you use her? If you can honestly say no to all of those questions, then you can walk away with your head held high. Aside from going too fast, you know you treated a girl the RIGHT way. And do you know what? There are a TON of girls that are looking for those qualities in a guy. There are a LOT of girls that are putting up with guys that are abusive and don't give a rats ass about them. You would be a breath of fresh air and when the RIGHT girl comes along, she's going to hold on to you for dear life.

 

SO, what do you do until the right girl comes into your life? You make positive changes. Some of them are really simple. First thing you do is go get a new hairstyle. Something people are going to notice and like. Then, get a new wardrobe. If you're a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, then you change to designer jeans, loafers, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a vest. Totally GQ 24/7. You want people to say, "DAMN DUDE! Lookin sharp!" This is going to help your self esteem and self confidence.

 

Continue to go to the gym. Run your ass of on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off those frustrations and stress that you're having. PLUS! If you're eating right and getting plenty of sleep, then you're working toward that rock hard and ripped bod that girls are going to definitely notice!

 

Then, continue your education. Do well. A strong education is going to open up so many opportunities for you so that you can afford that nice ass car you always wanted and that kick ass townehome in a great neighborhood!

 

Then, get a hobby. Find and interest! Hell, you're at college or University. There are TONS of clubs that you can join. JOIN THEM! PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE!!! Put down the Call of Duty and join a club and meet new people. You need to break out of this shell you have yourself in and interact with folks! Don't be scared! One thing that attracts a lot of girls in a guy is confidence! If your putting yourself out there and meeting people, you're showing a degree of confidence. And that make you a person that is approachable. Your next girl may approach you! And you didn't have to do a thing!

 

Finally, travel! Go see something new and exciting! Figure out somewhere you always wanted to see. Save your money and make a plan, then whether it's between spring term or summer break, GO!!!! Go see Paris, or England, Spain, China or Australia! Go have an adventure! Take yourself out of your comfort zone and have an adventure. It's a big world out there with people from different walks of life and cultures. Go meet them!

 

Start making positive changes! You have to find the motivation to do this, I can only do so much.

[Fufu]

Get a hobby or something. You need to do something.

 

If you game, I can be a gaming friend. I'm a gamer (mostly counter-strike global offensive)

[Afailure]

Geez dude, really?!?!

 

So, you first true relationship didn't work out. It's not the end of the world! I'm on here because I got screwed over pretty damn good. But, I got my life together and I couldn't be more happy with my life right now. Therefore, I come on here to help folks heal from their pain and to give them advice and the tools that they need in order to have a fantastic life.

 

So, you need to stop this self hatred right now! Okay, so you moved way too fast. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. You just got kicked in the nuts a little. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off! Where you physically abusive to her, where you mentally abusive to her? Did you mistreat her? Did you use her? If you can honestly say no to all of those questions, then you can walk away with your head held high. Aside from going too fast, you know you treated a girl the RIGHT way. And do you know what? There are a TON of girls that are looking for those qualities in a guy. There are a LOT of girls that are putting up with guys that are abusive and don't give a rats ass about them. You would be a breath of fresh air and when the RIGHT girl comes along, she's going to hold on to you for dear life.

 

SO, what do you do until the right girl comes into your life? You make positive changes. Some of them are really simple. First thing you do is go get a new hairstyle. Something people are going to notice and like. Then, get a new wardrobe. If you're a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, then you change to designer jeans, loafers, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a vest. Totally GQ 24/7. You want people to say, "DAMN DUDE! Lookin sharp!" This is going to help your self esteem and self confidence.

 

Continue to go to the gym. Run your ass of on the treadmill and push weight. This will help you work off those frustrations and stress that you're having. PLUS! If you're eating right and getting plenty of sleep, then you're working toward that rock hard and ripped bod that girls are going to definitely notice!

 

Then, continue your education. Do well. A strong education is going to open up so many opportunities for you so that you can afford that nice ass car you always wanted and that kick ass townehome in a great neighborhood!

 

Then, get a hobby. Find and interest! Hell, you're at college or University. There are TONS of clubs that you can join. JOIN THEM! PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE!!! Put down the Call of Duty and join a club and meet new people. You need to break out of this shell you have yourself in and interact with folks! Don't be scared! One thing that attracts a lot of girls in a guy is confidence! If your putting yourself out there and meeting people, you're showing a degree of confidence. And that make you a person that is approachable. Your next girl may approach you! And you didn't have to do a thing!

 

Finally, travel! Go see something new and exciting! Figure out somewhere you always wanted to see. Save your money and make a plan, then whether it's between spring term or summer break, GO!!!! Go see Paris, or England, Spain, China or Australia! Go have an adventure! Take yourself out of your comfort zone and have an adventure. It's a big world out there with people from different walks of life and cultures. Go meet them!

 

Start making positive changes! You have to find the motivation to do this, I can only do so much.

 

You know what i love about this website?It's straight and honest answers and i appreciate it.

 

Now let me start telling more about myself.I used to be made fun of in high school due to my appearence,i'm what you might call a hairy guy,got lot on my arms chest and legs and i was very skinny.I see most women nowadays prefer damn Brad Pitt styled men,shaved completely.But i choose not to do it as i would rather be appreciated for what i look like,i am a clean person,i take care of how i look and smell so don't imagine a cave man.

 

Now at some point in highschool i decided i wanted to change my life,so i started weight lifting and eventual reached a pretty noticeable physical change,i can still remember everyone's reaction when they saw me after summer ended,but i still couldn't get along very well with my high school classmates.

 

At the end of highschool we have to take 3 exams to be able to fully graduate,so i set my goal and started studying like a madman to pass and i did,with pretty damn good grades.I was thrilled it seemed i was finally crawling out my dark cave.

Then i had to choose which college i wanted to get in,had to take an exam there too and i did it,i was so damn glad.I was happy and it was showing.This was summer of 2012.

 

In October 2012 when college started i was an really outgoing guy,full of confidence jokes,happy.I felt great i felt alive, and then she appeared and i was like"i did it!i finally made it!",after years of depression,failures and bullying i did it!".I asked her what did she like about me and she said:well you're funny,caring,you're not like other boys and said i had a good looking body.Can you imagine what it felt like?Years of being made fun of and hating my life and this happening?

 

Then this happened and all went down,i have no energy in me,i lost my sense my humor,lost my strength ,i lost the me that shined and was appreciated.I'm back to being the old,failure of a being i was before.And this time,it seems i'm here to stay.

 

@fufu I used to be hardcore gamer 5 years ago,now i rarely play anything.Last game i played was 1 week ago called Left For Dead 2.

 

 

And regarding to Chi town's question about abusing her and using her.I swear by my life that i NEVER did that,i cannot do that,i'm not a bastard that uses people and i never can bring myself to harm a woman,i never insulted her,even when we had arguments,i never even raise my arm at her!As i think men who hit,cheat and used a lady are walking piece of crap.

Edited January 10, 2014 by Afailure

[Chi townD]

Get a hobby or something. You need to do something.

 

If you game, I can be a gaming friend. I'm a gamer (mostly counter-strike global offensive)

 

 

There ya go, dude! There's already a very pretty girl that's extended an invitation to spend some time with you! Things are starting to look up!

 

The stuff that happened to you in high school totally messed with your psyche. But, guess what! That was in high school! And you know as well as I do, kids are cruel as hell! But, you survived it and got out of there. You made it to University and are making strides to better yourself. And I bet you that some of those asshats that made fun of you in High school are at home, working at the supermarket and going nowhere in life. Who's winning now?

 

And the body image stuff is just that, body image. If it bothers you that much, call around to local spa's and find out about what they can do for excessive body hair.

 

Hell, there are a bunch of girls that like a hairy man. They believe it makes them look more masculine. But, to be honest, if I saw a pic of you, chances are I wouldn't say, "HOLY SH*T! BIG FOOT!!" I speculate that you look fine. Problem is, that's one of the things you got picked on about in high school and it stuck with you. And it probably isn't that bad.

 

If you're saying that your Ex was way out of your league and she didn't have a problem with it, then I GUARANTEE you there are more out there that won't have a problem with it either.

 

GET MOTIVATED!!! No one is going to do the work but you!

Edited January 10, 2014 by Chi townD