counterman Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I've been dating this girl for about 5 months. For the first month, we were really happy - however, she had commitment issues due to a couple of bad past relationships. She had issues with trusting me at first and we went through a rough patch, where she would be angry or upset at me as we got closer. However, we eventually got through that. This past couple of months we have been arguing about different issues. One was about one of her guy friends crossing some boundaries. Another was about the time and place I would bring up issues. And there were a few little things we were arguing about as well. Every time we argued, it would be intense... and would escalate. Though, in general, I was still pretty happy. I spent Christmas and NYE with my ex and we had such a great time. Last week she said to me that she couldn't wait to spend the future with me (and couldn't picture her next year without me). A few days before the New Year, she sent me a text message expressing some personal issues she had relating to me. I wanted to talk to her in person but she said she didn't want to argue, so we dropped the subject. Come NYE, I brought up the subject, albeit at a bad place and time and this really made her angry. Despite that, she forgot about it and had a wonderful night together. We embraced and we kissed. We were happy. The next day, however, things took a turn for the worst real fast. She brought up my bad timing with raising issues and also other further issues. She looked really unhappy... It was surprising because we were really happy in general and I felt that through her actions and words. She was really angry at me and was sick of our arguing. We stopped talking for a bit and she texted me with suggestions on how we could work things out. One of them was that we could go back to just dating and not be in a relationship. This really upset me and I was so distressed that I asked her for some time to myself to think about things, about what I wanted. This made her angry because there were times in the past I should've given her space but didn't. I regretted my actions and I was working on it So when I was ready to talk, I asked her if she wanted to talk and she said she didn't. She was really upset at me... and after work, she called me and said she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. She broke up with me... We had a talk afterwards, and she was under the impression that I would remain a part of her life, possibly as a friend but I told her that's not going to happen; it'll hurt too much. That seemed to upset her and I'm not sure whether she broke up with me out of haste or whether she really meant it. I'm still so confused. Things were going well and then this happened. Why didn't she just tried to work things out with me? Why?
Chi townD Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 One of them was that we could go back to just dating and not be in a relationship. RIGHT THERE! She wants to date other people. Or she already has, you just don't know about it. Spidey senses are going off, there's someone else. She was grooming you for her back up plan.
veggirl Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Your last thread made it sound like things have been...difficult...for your entire relationship. Too much drama. You should be relieved, find someone who doesn't act like a big baby about things and someone you don't have so many issues with.
Author counterman Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 RIGHT THERE! She wants to date other people. Or she already has, you just don't know about it. Spidey senses are going off, there's someone else. She was grooming you for her back up plan. Perhaps, but she said that she wouldn't see other people (I don't think that would be the case). She wanted me to keep taking her out on dates while she kept her options open...perhaps. If she were seeing other people, I would bet it would be her best guy friend. Now, she has said that she would never ever date him. But he's the one she goes to when she is upset and I've pretty sure she's been talking to him throughout this whole ordeal Your last thread made it sound like things have been...difficult...for your entire relationship. Too much drama. You should be relieved, find someone who doesn't act like a big baby about things and someone you don't have so many issues with. Things have been difficult but there were many fun and happy moments in between difficult times. There was a lot of drama though and I would have to take some responsibility in that. We both have lessons to learn You're probably right. I should be relieved. It just sucks at this moment that's all
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