CrystalCastles Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Let's talk about game-playing. I've dated more players than non-players, and although I'm getting the hang of recognizing game-playing, I still sometimes get fooled. Is all game-playing the same? Share your experiences!
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Players & game playing are different. Players are people who will say & do almost anything to get what they want -- usually sex. They aren't interested in commitment, although they may lead you to believe otherwise. They are interested in conquest. Game playing is stupid stuff tied to perceived power dynamics in a relationship. I'm not gonna call you until you call me. I won't go out with you unless you ask me 3 days in advance. Even if I'm not busy, I will decline a date because I want you to think I'm mysterious & not at your beck & call. I'm gonna make a fake profile on the dating site where we met so I can trick you into betraying me. Blah, blah, blah. 3
Author CrystalCastles Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 I definitely thought the two were the same. Though the both of them sound like a person is trying to gain something. Players try to gain sex. Game-players try to gain power. How would you know someone's game-playing? It doesn't sound so obvious right away.
Onethirtyeight Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I definitely thought the two were the same. Though the both of them sound like a person is trying to gain something. Players try to gain sex. Game-players try to gain power. How would you know someone's game-playing? It doesn't sound so obvious right away. Well what issues have you had before? Like d0nnivain said a player is going to trick you into having sex with them. This is usually evident when they try to have sex early and don't want to commit in anyway. They may also play some games, at which point they cross over into having a personality disorder. Dealing with someone who plays games is just extremely frustrating. From my experience as a guy I can tell when women are playing games. When they like me but wont talk to me and play "hard to get", or get all upset when I can't see them right away because I'm doing something important so then they make themselves hard to get a hold of. You will get burned a few times before you realize you're dealing with someone that plays silly games.
Author CrystalCastles Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 Well what issues have you had before? Well I've had issues with players before. I recently went out with a guy (I have made a thread about this) and I know now that he's a player. He did get away with a lot (didn't sleep with me, but did go way faster than I asked) mostly because I stupidly let him. Anyways, after I went out with him for a second date, he began to play games with me. Or at least, maybe they're games? Or maybe they're things that a player does to get me hooked? I don't know. These games involved ignoring only the messages I sent which asked to meet up with him (he'd reply to everything I'd write in my texts except for the parts in which I wanted to hang out) or he'd read my messages on facebook and otherwise ignore them. I guess I just don't get it. He came on super strong, got all gushy about how much he liked me, and now he's pulling away. Is that because he thinks he's got me? He thinks I'm attached to him and he doesn't have to try hard anymore? Anyways, I'm really turned off by him and I don't care to see him ever again, but this is the second time it's happening to I'd like to avoid being played with in the future.
Sand Man Dan Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Well I've had issues with players before. I recently went out with a guy (I have made a thread about this) and I know now that he's a player. He did get away with a lot (didn't sleep with me, but did go way faster than I asked) mostly because I stupidly let him. Anyways, after I went out with him for a second date, he began to play games with me. Or at least, maybe they're games? Or maybe they're things that a player does to get me hooked? I don't know. These games involved ignoring only the messages I sent which asked to meet up with him (he'd reply to everything I'd write in my texts except for the parts in which I wanted to hang out) or he'd read my messages on facebook and otherwise ignore them. I guess I just don't get it. He came on super strong, got all gushy about how much he liked me, and now he's pulling away. Is that because he thinks he's got me? He thinks I'm attached to him and he doesn't have to try hard anymore? Anyways, I'm really turned off by him and I don't care to see him ever again, but this is the second time it's happening to I'd like to avoid being played with in the future. That's why I advocate not giving up anything more than make outs for a couple months. Weeds out pieces of trash like that.
Author CrystalCastles Posted January 6, 2014 Author Posted January 6, 2014 That's why I advocate not giving up anything more than make outs for a couple months. Weeds out pieces of trash like that. I agree. All we did was make out. He did want to go further, I knew, but I didn't want that. I suppose I'm just annoyed that I had gotten all excited about this, and it turned out not like I thought.
nescafe1982 Posted January 6, 2014 Posted January 6, 2014 The best way to out a game-player is to not play along. Actually, that will uncover a player too. Don't play along, and both types tend to get frustrated and find their way out of your life.
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