New poster, newly broken heart

[TheBladeRunner]

Cheaper to keep her. Go no-fault and lose half, or claim adultery and go to trial, pissing away assets on legal fees to tip the settlement in my favor. Maybe I should find some tail on the side and call it a day.

 

Financially I have gone from being relatively well off to where I am now, the business I am in is up and down and to be quite honest, it WAS easier with two incomes. Financially I may be headed to court yet again, I am totally underwater right now.......but you know what? I'd rather be broke than to ever stay with my XW who so easily destroyed my heart and my family.

 

My life is getting better, financially it has been tough, but I wouldn't have it any other way. The biggest reason of all that I decided not to "R" is for my little girl: I didn't want her to see her dad as a doormat and someone that took second place. She's young and has no idea what happened, but when she's older she will ask or figure it out for herself.

 

It's only money and it's only stuff, don't let that be the reason you stay with someone that ACTIVELY (Ashley Madison) sought out not one, but two affairs.....that you KNOW of. If you read some of my stuff you'll see it took me awhile to figure out that just over the course of 12 months mine had three "A's". Good luck my friend, I feel your pain......and just a suggestion......Lawyer up!

[Just_AGuy]

[deleted my own message]

Edited January 7, 2014 by Just_AGuy

[BetrayedH]

Cheaper to keep her. Go no-fault and lose half, or claim adultery and go to trial, pissing away assets on legal fees to tip the settlement in my favor.

 

Work on a settlement with her under the threat of going to trial based on adultery. You're in a good negotiating position and she is not.

 

Maybe I should find some tail on the side and call it a day.

 

No, you really shouldn't. Take it from a guy who had a "revenge affair" via Ashley Madison. I lost my moral high ground, integrity, bargaining position, and marriage. I also get to look forward to telling my kids someday that both of their parents had affairs. Getting some tail on the side isn't worth any of that. The logical, healthy, and ethical choices for you are the same as they were for your wife: fix your marriage or leave it.

[jnel921]

Sounds like you want your M to work more than your WW. Leaving this relationship is your best bet.

 

When it comes to DDay... I beleive that the WS has the responsibility to decide what then next action is. If you are demanding she end the A and this was not something your WW decided then she doesn't want to be with you.

 

You can't convince someone to love you. I am one of the few here who doesn't feel you need to involve the world in what is happening in your marriage.

 

This is between you and your wife. If she says she is unhappy and doesn't love you and wants this guy, let her go.

 

I know 20 years is a long time, but I would rather be with someone who loves and respects me wholeheartedly.

 

Please do not use your legal counsel as a threatening measure for her to stay. M should be based on love, not necessity. If your child is young there is no need to explain. I don't think it's fair to drag them in either. Sometimes relationships don't work out. That's all they need to know. Everything else they will realize in time.

 

Hope it works out for you.

[peruano99]

Not good. The way your luck is running, she would find out, call the cops, say you shoved her, have you hauled away in cuffs and she cleans you out.

 

IMO, quit playing games and unload her. She's not a keeper and will only make life harder than it already is. Good luck.

 

Wait can a woman just say she has been assaulted without physical evidence?