JLOW888 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 On NYD the girl i was seeing called me saying she didn't want a relationship, i am absolutely gutted. i didnt realise it until the thought of losing her entered my head but i had fallen in love with her. On NYD i tried to persuade her that i can make her happy and how much i care, she replied pretty much saying she had made her decision and wanted to move on, i don't understand it because we were so happy together then on NYE something had changed i dont know what. I had been seeing her for about 4 months and i was saying to all my mates all i wanted was to sleep with her and i didn't like her that much, i was incredibly immature about it. And now i love her and dont know how to get her back! On the 2nd i had written a long letter explain how i can make her happy and that i had fallen in love with her, it feel on deft ears she wants to move on. But having read some of the threads on this website i still have hope that we can make it, we are currently in no contact and i am finding it so hard not to break it. I know she still really likes me and all i want to do is pick up the phone and talk to her.
blackpajamas Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Sorry for the tough love. How do you know she still really likes you? All the evidence you provided said that her mind was made up, that she didn't want to be in a relationship with you. Also, you have been seeing this girl for four months. That's in the area of time where most couples will figure out if dating is going to progress into relationship, for some couples, four months is even too long for that. You won't like this, but you need to never contact this girl. She told you she was ready to move on. I know it sucks, but you need to keep to no contact and start working on yourself. Get emotionally stable, and go out and meet other girls.
Author JLOW888 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 i know from before i saw her last sunday and she said she did. she has been cheated on in the past and that has made her scared of a relationship. I refuse to believe that her mind changed within the space of 24h
blackpajamas Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 If that is true, then you constantly professing your love is not what's going to get her back. If she really likes you, she'll want to be with you, though it seems she said one thing (that she likes you) and now suddenly she doesn't? Something has obviously occurred. It might have been building up for several weeks and she finally decided in that 24 hour span to break it off.
Author JLOW888 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 From the start she has been hinting at a relationship saying its what she wants in the future for us seeing each other not to be a waste of time. how can i get her back, i am struggling to sleep i can hardly eat, im falling into a depression and the only way to get me out of it will be for me to see her again.
blackpajamas Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 No, it won't. I really think you need to accept the fact she's gone man. I've been in your situation before. You can't believe everything a person says. The best thing for your emotional health is to go no contact. Time will get you by this stage.
Author JLOW888 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Do you not think the fact that we have gone from talking 24/7 to no contact will make her miss me and want me back? I'm finding it so hard to accept that she has gone.
blackpajamas Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Maybe? Who's to say really? Your best bet is to go to NC not because it will make her want you back, but because it's going to be best for you emotionally.
Author JLOW888 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 okay, Do i need to wait for her to contact me or me her?
blackpajamas Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Don't initiate contact with her and try your best to move on.
mantlefan Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I am pretty messed up over a breakup too. I wish I would have found this site sooner. The thing I have realized is that depending on what you want, the course is the same: 1. Do you want her back? Go NC. If she wants to get back with you at some point and you still want to, that's the only way it's going to happen. I didn't go NC and basically I think my girlfriend saw that I didn't respect myself that much, and also saw that I probably didn't respect her decision, although I didn't realize either at the time. 2. Do you want to get over her? Go NC. It will help you move on the fastest. I just started real NC with my ex 2 days ago from a breakup that was in July. It took me too long to realize that if I really care about her, I would have given her NC sooner for her, and if I really value myself, I do NC for me to heal.
Recommended Posts