Kiti Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 My ex husband and I got divorced 2 years ago. Things did not work out and I was fine with that. Immediately afterwards I found out he had been having an affair (he met the OW 9 years ago but they have not always during that time span been totally into the A - just the odd encounter once or twice a year). However, post divorce the R with the OW was more intense with him taking her on 2 overseas trips etc) The difficulty here is that although we are divorced he never moved out of the family home. We still slept in the same bed etc, although were not intimate that often. We have never begun to make a divorce settlement. The OW is also divorced and she too still lives in the same house with her ex. I imagine earlier last year, that after they had spent holidays together that she still was not ready to move in with him etc. and broke it off. He then tried to reconcile with me and it was great but suddenly a few days ago said that he didn't love me in the way which I wanted him to and that he tried hard but sees that he doesn't make me happy (the only reason that I am not 100% happy is that I have always, throughout the reconciliation felt that he still hankers after the OW and was still in contact with her as he is very secretive and has 2 phones etc. He always denied this when I confronted him but he is a very very good liar) My exH says that he and the OW could never start a life together, there is no possibility, too complicated but now he has left me to go and spend some time with her as she has an empty house at the moment - this after I caught him out still contacting the OW. I am so confused - just don't know what to do. Any thoughts. Do you think they will get together?
Oldspiceywolf Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It will work on and off but not forever. He doesn't care about you, you need to love yourself. Find the strength any where you can find it 1
mrs rubble Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Find yourself some self respect woman!!!! - "2 years ago we divorced" yet divorce proceedings have never happened? you live in the same house? you sleep in the same bed? and are sometimes intimate.? You are not divorced. You are a doormat that he's been wiping his feet on everytime he runs off to be with the other woman, and you've allowed it. When you decide you are worth more than this. Ditch him for good. Change the locks while he's out. Get a lawyer and move on. 1
BrokenPrincess Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 This post omits quite a bit of what you included in your previous thread...that you threatened to commit suicide if he left, even though you didn't mean it, etc. I don't think you have any idea what's going on his other relationship, but he seems to be clear that he's not committed to your M and you don't need to be his fall-back plan anymore. Instead of focusing on what's going on with him, I would channel your thoughts and energy to getting yourself outbid this toxic situation. He needs to get out of the house and you need to meet with a lawyer so you can prepare separation & divorce arrangements. 1
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