knoklee Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 we're good friends; i like her very much, and i do want her; she knows and reacts positively to this, and she's trying to make this relationship better, but, she have some communication issues (i have to make efforts to keep any conversation interesting) ... i'm happy and feeling lucky to find someone like her (and i think she thinks the same) ! the problem is when i try to be sincere, and tell her how much she is important to me and how much i missed her she switches to defense mode ... and i start receive cold replies like if i was lying about my feelings ? any ideas on how to deal with this ??
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Doesn't seem that she is either emotionally mature enough for a serious relationship... or she just doesn't want to be in a serious relationship with you. To deal with this find someone ready for a serious relationship. 1
DorkBreakfast Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Sounds like insecurity on her part. Unfortunately, not much you can do about that until she works on that. All you can do is be the best you can be for her. 1
Author knoklee Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Hummm, she keeps talking about marriage and having children ... and the other serious stuffs. i've already asked her if she thinks i lie to her, but she responded negatively. last year she experienced a very bad relationship, i think, even if she knows i'm sincere, she still have an inner fear of being n relationship ... how to surpass it ?
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 So she talks about very serious things, got out of a bad relationship, and responds negative to positive statements from you? Honestly it sounds like she's in rebound mode and not over her past yet. It explains the behavior pretty well with the projection of emotions from her last relationship onto her current relationship.
Author knoklee Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Owwww, that's it Philosoraptor (Y) !! so have i to be patient and stop complimenting here ?
Philosoraptor Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 No, you need to not expect anything serious to come from this. If you want to date her for fun, great. But if you're looking for something that is going to last you're not going to get it from her right now... and you may not get it ever if she decides she doesn't want you anymore once she's healed enough to stand on her own.
Author knoklee Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 yeeaah, i understand. good advises at the right moment ! thank you ! in fact i know her for more than 3 years, i know what kind of girls she is, she is sincere. but i have to be cautious and do not expect anything from her. my feelings have to be out of the game until she regains her self esteem and be ready for a sincere relationship ...
shinealight Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Does she know you like her? If you like someone you need to tell them because she might find someone pretty soon and you do not want to miss ye chance. I have seen one to many people who like someone and just let them run away.
Eggplant Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 She doesn't have the same feelings. You put her in an awkward position. 2
twinkie0 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It seems to me like she's just not into you. She doesn't want a relationship with you, at least not right now. So the compliments make her uncomfortable. It's not that she thinks you're lying, it's that she doesn't want to lie to you. 1
Author knoklee Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 thanks guys, it seems you were right ... (Y)
Recommended Posts