MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 We broke up 3 months ago. our last conversation is December 8 last time we talked I told her we can't be friends and she said she will wait for the day that we can talk again.. so yesterday I broke no contact. I was the dumper and I asked her back. Here's how the conversation went Me: Hi! not sure if you wanna hear from me, Just wanna say happy new year! Her: Why would I don't wanna hear from you happy new year too! Me: blah blah blah stories Her: blah blah blah stories Me: Hey I've been missing you a lot Her: I miss you too Me: I want you back, can we start over again? Her: I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Me: I understand I won't bother you anymore, I will be out of your life for good. Take Care Anyway now I can finally move on.. Is my final words ok?? or I should have just ignored her last message when she said She can't be in a relationship right now.
David87 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 We broke up 3 months ago. our last conversation is December 8 last time we talked I told her we can't be friends and she said she will wait for the day that we can talk again.. so yesterday I broke no contact. I was the dumper and I asked her back. Here's how the conversation went Me: Hi! not sure if you wanna hear from me, Just wanna say happy new year! Her: Why would I don't wanna hear from you happy new year too! Me: blah blah blah stories Her: blah blah blah stories Me: Hey I've been missing you a lot Her: I miss you too Me: I want you back, can we start over again? Her: I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Me: I understand I won't bother you anymore, I will be out of your life for good. Take Care Anyway now I can finally move on.. Is my final words ok?? or I should have just ignored her last message when she said She can't be in a relationship right now. Yes you should have ignored her last message and man that last part sounded awful. NC is the best solution right now.
Author MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 What could have been the best thing to say after she said no? just no words and silent? Yes you should have ignored her last message and man that last part sounded awful. NC is the best solution right now.
David87 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 What could have been the best thing to say after she said no? just no words and silent? What's done is done. There is nothing you cand do about it now, if I were you I would send a different last text, something like this : I understand and respect your decision, sorry for the things I did, maybe we can be friends in the future.... and then start NC.
k100danny Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I broke no contact last night and instantly regretted it. I now have a reply from her on my phone i dont even want to look at so haven't. I didn't ask to try again (i was the dumper also and regretted it) and i know it is best that we don't reconcile. I think at times you just have a moment of weakness, think everything will be ok or this was the case with me an then as soon as i had done it i thought of all the reasons it wouldn't work and why we could both never feel the same again. The only problem i see with your last text is (i will be out of your life for good) this sounds a little bit like you are trying to get a reaction or maybe make her think she is losing out. You probably did it without even thinking but don't beat yourself up about it just as they say it's now NC day 1.
Author MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 actually guys I haven't really send the last message to her.. But that's what I'm planning to send. Should I just ignore it or should I write something like: I understand and respect your decision, sorry for the things I did, You always take care!
organizedchaos Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 actually guys I haven't really send the last message to her.. But that's what I'm planning to send. Should I just ignore it or should I write something like: I understand and respect your decision, sorry for the things I did, You always take care! I would stay silent. I think staying silent after what she says says more and will make her curious. But you need to stay NC from now on. 1
Author MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 curious about my reaction?? I would stay silent. I think staying silent after what she says says more and will make her curious. But you need to stay NC from now on.
Kevin_D Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Her: I'm sorry but I don't want to be in a relationship right now. Me: I understand I won't bother you anymore, I will be out of your life for good. Take Care Bad move. Since you dumped her, you can't make these "take it or leave it" offers. If you really want to get back with her, you'll need a lot of patience. You need to apologize for breaking up with her and explain why you changed your mind. After that it will take a long time for to regain her trust.
Author MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) I didn't said that yet.. Should I just ignore what she said? and continue NC or just say I understand and respect her decision? Bad move. Since you dumped her, you can't make these "take it or leave it" offers. If you really want to get back with her, you'll need a lot of patience. You need to apologize for breaking up with her and explain why you changed your mind. After that it will take a long time for to regain her trust. Edited January 3, 2014 by MichaelTheGreat
Author MichaelTheGreat Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Is it ok to say this instead? It's ok don't worry. I understand and respect your decision, You always take care! or this It's ok don't worry. I understand and respect your decision, I won't bother you anymore You always take care!
Kopite Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 To the dumper, do you really really want her back?? Do you regret everything sincerely? I was the dumpee in my relationship and this is my view... As a dumpee, I wouldn't believe you that you truly would want her back because there hasn't been enough time since you broke up. Less than one month and you already want her back?? What happened there? Did plan A not work for you and now you want to go back to plan B? This is what I would be thinking right now if I were her and I would probably have the exact same reaction she does. The pain must be still fresh and there's no way she would trust you at this point. If I were your girlfriend and if you went NC now after saying you wanted me back, that would just reinforce my feelings that you weren't really interested in having me back and that you were just trying to play with me. Why would the dumper go NC?? I don't understand this? Shouldn't it be their job to truly show the dumpee that they do in fact love them? The dumpee should be the one going NC. It's the dumper's job to regain their trust.
shakepig Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I didn't said that yet.. Should I just ignore what she said? and continue NC or just say I understand and respect her decision? Yep, dont reply. leave it like that.
organizedchaos Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 curious about my reaction?? Curious about your non-reaction.
Supes Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Saying anything like those options you're considering will only make things worse. You're being very dramatic with those lines. She's not ready for a relationship, that's not her saying "Stay the hell away from me and never contact me again" so don't play that game with her by assuming thats what she means. If you really care about her you should get in touch again, share stories and then ask to meet. Tell her face to face that you miss her. I don't think anyone would respect something like that being said over text. Human interaction means a hell of a lot more. Keep in touch with her, but only bring up the fact that you still miss her when you meet her in person. Nothing wrong with being friendly and polite with her for now. She's texting you back, that's a positive!
Chi townD Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Come on dude! Let it go! DO you want me to help you with translations? She said that she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. Which means, she doesn't want to be in a relationship with YOU right now and to stop dating multiple dudes that she's seeing right now! She having too much fun at the moment! Stay NC. If you think you feel calm because of some false sense of closure, you would be wrong. You're a drug addict and you just got your fix. You heard from her. Dollars to donuts, you're gonna start feeling bad by the being of next week. Stay NC! 1
Simon Phoenix Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 actually guys I haven't really send the last message to her.. But that's what I'm planning to send. Should I just ignore it or should I write something like: I understand and respect your decision, sorry for the things I did, You always take care! No, nothing. It's time for you to be quiet and accept things for how they are.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Saying anything like those options you're considering will only make things worse. You're being very dramatic with those lines. She's not ready for a relationship, that's not her saying "Stay the hell away from me and never contact me again" so don't play that game with her by assuming thats what she means. If you really care about her you should get in touch again, share stories and then ask to meet. Tell her face to face that you miss her. I don't think anyone would respect something like that being said over text. Human interaction means a hell of a lot more. Keep in touch with her, but only bring up the fact that you still miss her when you meet her in person. Nothing wrong with being friendly and polite with her for now. She's texting you back, that's a positive! It's really not that positive. All it means is that she doesn't hate him. It doesn't mean anything as far as reconciliation. And it's up to her to make the next move.
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