poeticjustice92 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now. we're both in our early twenties. we started off long distance but 3 months ago i moved closer and now we spend all our time with each other. So much so that we basically live together though i still have my own place with my roommate and spend a couple days a month with her too. In our relationship I'm very outgoing meanwhile he's more of a home body so we've always seemed to balance each other out somehow. But lately i find myself being the only one trying to maintain the spark. when im at his place, we share the cooking, cleaning, groceries, laundry, etc. so im very appreciative of how much he supports me and how well we work together. the only thing is I'm afraid he's so used to me now that I've become somewhat unattractive in his eyes. we don't have sex unless i initiate it or basically throw myself at him. I once experimented to see what he would do if i just stopped going to him for affection and he didn't even notice. i feel like im working overtime to feel the love from him and when i approach this to him he says i complain too much and if he's not what i want then i should just leave. that's never what i mean at all, i just want to talk about compromising but i always end up being the one to settle. I've been going with it for some time now and it feels like i'm dating myself after a while.. not to mention the girls that call him wanting to sleep with him or get back together even to the point of sending him gifts at his door that i confront him about he swears to be nothing... when i turn to friends about the situation for some advice, my girls and his buddies tell me that im all he talks about and he has no intention of losing me yet i don't feel that... I'm not sure what else to do but i just wish my boyfriend would see me as sexy like other men do, have the courtesy to firmly tell other women he's taken and not interested. i wish he would flirt with me rather than me getting that from strangers. he used to but now its like i have to beg him to touch me... I'm not sure if i should or stay go at this point.
deathandtaxes Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Be assertive and tell him everything you have written here. Perhaps stop spending every day at his place? This can be a bump in the road that some healthy communication can overcome or it is a taste of things to come. But the key to this is communication.
DorkBreakfast Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Talk to him. Bring all your points up in a calm, rational manner. It really is that simple. You may find out he's got something else on his mind that's totally unrelated to what you're perceiving. If you have needs in a relationship that aren't being met, talk about them with your partner.
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