jaimers Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) Boyfriend and I had our first big fight after 6 months on New Years Day, we both overreacted (we both admitted it to each other yesterday) I overreacted which started the fight, he overreacted when he thought it meant we need to break up (which he told me...but kept going back and forth afterwards saying "i don't know" he kept telling me not to leave however...he cried and tried to grab me when I left...then texted me later saying "I didn't know what to do with myself so I drove to my parents" ) I assumed this was a breakup, but he hasn't cut off our status on FB, so called him last night and he said he needs time to think. I explained the honeymoon stage to him in texts after our convo- I feel hes freaking out because hes not 100% infatuated with me still and some conflicts have arisen (over minor things) He said he is happy with me most of the time. I told him this is natural to not be very happy all the time (i havent found a R where Ive happy all of the time after some time passes) and to google the stages of a relationship. (Im his first official girlfriend, he is 25 years old...states he doesn't know how relationships work or how they are supposed to make him feel all the time) He said "Jaime Im fumbling for words right now" "Yes I understand that these things happen now) but at the end said "I need more time to think please" He also said earlier in the convo "I feel like I get stuck too much and it makes everything worse" (when we talk or have a minor disagreement) My family and family are shocked- he seemed so into me only 4 days a go. Bought me tons of pics of us together, with a picture frame with a pic of us in it for Christmas...I don't understand how someones feelings can change so drastically...I know 100% there is no other woman- he says he doesn't think about other women Edited January 3, 2014 by jaimers
PegNosePete Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 He asked for time to think. Give it to him. Stop sending him links and trying to influence his decision. Give him time away from you to figure out what he wants. It might be good to put a time limit on it so you're not waiting around indefinitely, say a couple of days. But during those couple of days, don't initiate contact with him, and if he initiates don't waffle, just ask if he's reached his decision. 1
Zahara Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I think you both should come to an understandinging by deciding a reasonable duration to "think" and revisit. He can't leave you lost until he decides what he wants to do with the relationship. You can say to him, "Let's give this a week and we can revisit and decide how we want to proceed." I'm not a fan of leaving a partner in the dark while I take my time to figure myself out. During that time away, stay gone. It would also be good for you to figure out how you feel, what you want and in a sense, detach some and mentally prepare yourself for whatever should happen. 1
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