SYLLPalmer Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 To me, and other people, it is an insult to call marriage "just a piece of paper". If you are so thrilled with marriage shouldn't you be up above it? Just saying. I wouldn't care if I was stoked on marriage and a bunch of unluckies in love were picking on it. Marriage keeps kids from being called bastards. That good enough for me. You shouldn't find that offensive either. I mean isn't this board just sharing thoughts and opinions not facts. Sharing experience and seeking feedback on ones soul searching. Seeking comradery. Don't be offended. Just smile and say "marriage rules IMO"
Silly_Girl Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Marriage keeps kids from being called bastards. That good enough for me. Crikey. What out of date backwater do you live in?! That wouldn't even be a consideration where I live. Not now and not 20 years ago
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 There is no "point"...nobody could prove marriage does absolutely anything at all, and why would it? nothing can be confirmed and everything is subjective on what it actually does and brings to the table in a relationship. Beyond the general rhetoric that people learn from society as a whole and all it's elements and influences...there's a pretty simple view and expectation associated with marriage..which is why the explanations are so redundant and the divorce rate so high, many people actually think that marriage is going to do something for them and their relationship...it doesn't, it just is...magic doesn't shoot out of the sky and onto your relationship just because you marry...it's the same people in the same relationship, nothing "special" happens...maybe psychologically/emotionally in your own head, but nothing technically is happening or changing. It's kind of like faith, you believe because you believe or you don't...it's not the mental part that makes marriage make sense or makes you religious...the fact that marriage is a paper is actually a fact, that actually can be proven, everything beyond that is subjective...what it means to other people is based on their own ideals, much of which does not have to make any sense...can they even prove themselves how the word or institution known as "marriage" in some way shaped or improved their relationship? you can't, they can say without it would have been worse or they wouldn't have achieved this or that, but unless you go back and do things all over just to find out without marriage itself accomplished, who's to say? last time I checked if you spend a significant time in a relationship, you're going to feel in someway bonded to them...whether you like it or not, not really a choice, not really anything to do with a title or institution, it's human nature generally speaking. If anything it's psychological, it gives people a sense of commitment...which is basically "security" that provides peace of mind and a structure for further endeavors to accomplish together....most people don't want to be alone, most people would rather raise children as a "family" and traditionally speaking you do that in a marriage by default. When people have kids, or want kids...marriage typically follows in a whole lot of cases. You'll notice a whole lot of people getting married young without really any experience at all, you'll notice people who are desperate or scared to be alone getting married, you'll notice people getting married because they have hope and have a belief it will enhance or even save a relationship...the list goes on and on, unfortunately there is no requirement to get married...you can meet someone tomorrow, get married the next day, claim it's the best thing in the world and perfect in every way, you somehow have this sixth sense and just know what you're doing by some miracle and how know how you feel and that this is special....and then end up divorced six months later and it's all the same. People make it what it is...what they believe marriage is, regardless of whether they succeed or not. It's all about perspective...some people just like to be married just because...why? who knows, they couldn't tell you beyond the surface, nor care why themselves in any great detail or even had the epiphany to even ask themselves that question...that's just what they feel like doing and it's good enough for them...that simple. In the end, you will likely end up married to...you'll experience all the elements of life and society ever so slowly compelling you into a direction...like a gravitational pull, why will you end up married? only you'll know why when you get there....will it be all roses and magic? very probably not...but you'll do it anyway, and you'll have your reasons...because when you're in the situation you will have to have more conviction than just saying objectively and sitting where you are now that you would never do it. If you don't end up married, congratulations...you resisted the temptation or opportunity to conform, but maybe you're a little sad and regretful nobody changed your mind...who knows what's on your mind, only you will know by then. There is no yellow brick road...life is all chance, nobody knows what they're doing...they're all just making choices...based on what they think is going to make them the happiest. 1
Grumpybutfun Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Marriage is a life choice. You can define marriage and put whatever value you like on it, but it isn't necessary for everyone to have whole, wonderful lives. The point to me was that I wanted to share everything about my life with someone whom I adore and who shares everything with me. There are many to whom marriage was a blessing and many who say it is a curse, but the only thing that matters at the end of the day is for you to do what you value and what your life's experiences compel you to do. There is no wrong or right way to live your life if you make informed and educated choices and base them on your values. Best, Grumps 1
Iguanna Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 Marriage for me and my bf means nothing at all except how the other people approach it. The effort I make, the love I give him and the life we live will not change cause of the wedding. I will never take him for granted and stop trying to make our relationship work. I won't be trying to make my marriage work rather than my relationship. I hear people saying "We are gonna try to make our marriage work" and I'm wondering, what about your relationship? If the love and respect are gone and you are just living in a house pretending to be happy for people to see, what is the point of the marriage? This only confirms to me that the wedding and the marriage is only the "packing" of the relationship, it's what other people can see. You can make the packing as good as it gets, color it, draw on it, make it seem good, but if the internal which is the relationship stinks, then you are doomed. I'll create the packing for others to see but I'll keep my relationship private, make the best to keep it going with love and happiness. And I definitely don't need any paper for this.
OpenBook Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 You both make a promise (vows) to each other in front of your family and friend's. Those people come to witness the promise, not just to give gifts and party. It's a really big deal when you think of it. How many other chances in life do you get to take center stage for something so beautiful and significant? See the value in that? Beyond the wedding you have your ring as a reminder and the promise in your heart. How you live, act and honor the promise after the wedding is the true test of your character. Well then I guess my character rates an EPIC FAIL, because I made that promise in front of God and everybody but was unable to carry it through. (We divorced after 3 years of marriage; and I never remarried, although he did.) Now that I'm much older, I see the futility in promising to love, honor and cherish someone for the rest of my natural life. I had no business making that promise back then - and I have no business making it now. Because how can anyone guarantee they can keep that promise when they can't see into the future?
xxoo Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 There is no "point"...nobody could prove marriage does absolutely anything at all, and why would it? Marriage obviously provides legal benefits to both parties.
Tiberius Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 The marriage contract isnt about love, its about securing the weaker party, in the olden days the woman, by obligating the man to stay in the relationship and today in our modern society, by giving her access to half the assets. Of course in our modern society that contract has become less of a necessity. Still, it stipulates that everything in a marriage is shared equally with that in mind you can see how one half of the relationship is usually more or less eager to sign it than the other half. If you think its not very romantic to be the one who gives so both are on an equal footing dont fret, modern women are not too keen to get married either if they feel they stand to loose in the marriage, rather than to gain.
LeGenDary_Man Posted January 14, 2014 Posted January 14, 2014 If it's a way to be with the person you love for a long time, can't you just do that in a relationship? It's just a piece of paper. The importance of institution of marriage varies according to the nature of a society. If you are living in a society where you can have all the perks of marriage without marrying someone then you may not find this institution appealing or making sense. However, if you are living in a society where relationships are acceptable only through institution of marriage then you will respect this institution.
BOREDouttaMymind Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 wow i love what miss bee said. i think its so ignorant of people to say its just a piece of paper. its just an excuse to try to destroy the union of a man and a woman. why isn't your drivers license just a piece of paper? its what stands behind the paper that counts, not the actual paper. if your license is just a piece of paper, the state might as well just allow everyone to drive without taking the test... heck.. its just a piece of paper. 1
Fluttershy Posted January 15, 2014 Posted January 15, 2014 Marriage was important to me because I am from a very religeous family tho less so myself. So marriage was always about a commitment before God and man and the next step in a relationship. Nothing to do with the legal side. I like traditions. I had a great wedding. I have a more permanent title than girlfriend. So for me it was about the vows an the rings... Legaly i live where after six months of being shacked up you are treated as married and so not legally Marrying changes nothing when it comes to wills, finances, sickness, ect. Tho I had friends who recently married because they travel a lot and they needed to have legal say over each other.
bippy123 Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 wow i love what miss bee said. i think its so ignorant of people to say its just a piece of paper. its just an excuse to try to destroy the union of a man and a woman. why isn't your drivers license just a piece of paper? its what stands behind the paper that counts, not the actual paper. if your license is just a piece of paper, the state might as well just allow everyone to drive without taking the test... heck.. its just a piece of paper. To me marriage is a union between Me , my future wife and the holy spirit. It isnt just some piece of paper. To someone who isnt of faith, im sure it is basically a piece of paper in which they see their relationship no different then 2 single people living together, except they get added benefits federally and statewise.
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 16, 2014 Posted January 16, 2014 wow i love what miss bee said. i think its so ignorant of people to say its just a piece of paper. its just an excuse to try to destroy the union of a man and a woman. why isn't your drivers license just a piece of paper? its what stands behind the paper that counts, not the actual paper. if your license is just a piece of paper, the state might as well just allow everyone to drive without taking the test... heck.. its just a piece of paper. At least you've got to take and pass a test before getting a license! you've at least to a degree earned it...but it's not like people walk around feeling good about themselves and are more "happier and stable" because they have one, it doesn't represent these other things depending on who you ask...it just simply means they can drive, it's common sense. But then again if there was a marriage "test", I wonder how many people would pass! you could essentially be a belligerent drunken retard with not a single moral bone or shred of wisdom throughout your body and still....get married. Doesn't say a whole lot for the institution, on any grounds, especially when you can't even get a mutual consensus of what it means amongst society past any vague and general rhetoric that any unaware child could mimic.
Fluttershy Posted January 17, 2014 Posted January 17, 2014 At least you've got to take and pass a test before getting a license! you've at least to a degree earned it...but it's not like people walk around feeling good about themselves and are more "happier and stable" because they have one, it doesn't represent these other things depending on who you ask...it just simply means they can drive, it's common sense. But then again if there was a marriage "test", I wonder how many people would pass! you could essentially be a belligerent drunken retard with not a single moral bone or shred of wisdom throughout your body and still....get married. Doesn't say a whole lot for the institution, on any grounds, especially when you can't even get a mutual consensus of what it means amongst society past any vague and general rhetoric that any unaware child could mimic. Your argument is weak and Used for parenting. Marryin on the otherhand does have a test Dating and engagment. Some people marry someone even if their partner fails the test but they refuse to see that. Some people "cheat" to pass the test and therefore eventually fail in the marriage.
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