Roses777 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Hey there. My ex and I have broken up so many times I have lost count. The last time she said that we were finished but then came back after a month or so. We just broke up before Xmas and it was her decision again. This time she says it is final but I am not sure. So far she hasn't had any luck finding anyone as far as I know. It's not been a month yet but we haven't spoken in almost two weeks since I left her apartment key with her landlord. Would you return to an ex if you couldn't find anyone else?
strive Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 You won't believe how many people do that. But personally, I won't. Or if it's the other way around, I won't take them back. To go back to someone after breaking up with them just means that they're/you're settling for someone instead of finding the best partner for them/you. It's basically an insult. 4
pickflicker Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Hey there. My ex and I have broken up so many times I have lost count. The last time she said that we were finished but then came back after a month or so. We just broke up before Xmas and it was her decision again. This time she says it is final but I am not sure. So far she hasn't had any luck finding anyone as far as I know. It's not been a month yet but we haven't spoken in almost two weeks since I left her apartment key with her landlord. Would you return to an ex if you couldn't find anyone else? No. I'd rather be single than in an inadequate relationship. If I'm going to have to meet someone in the middle for the rest of my life, it better be someone I'm nuts about. Otherwise, I'd rather be single and do whatever the heck I want, all the time. 3
Author Roses777 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Also factor in the fact that she's bipolar and doesn't have a lot of friends. I was her best friend.
pickflicker Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Also factor in the fact that she's bipolar and doesn't have a lot of friends. I was her best friend. I don't understand the point you're trying to make. Codependency is not love. 1
carhill Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Would you return to an ex if you couldn't find anyone else? BTDT, never been tempted. Going on four years now. In fact, my best friend was talking a bit of smack about my exW and her boyfriend and I was sticking up for the guy, that he was a better match for her than I was as a husband. Hope she doesn't run him off!
deathandtaxes Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Repeated break-ups are never a good sign. Have you discovered the root cause of this? Why put yourselves through it again and again? I say nay. Enjoy life single. Learn about yourself. Enjoy being by yourself. 3
HorseLuck Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Also factor in the fact that she's bipolar and doesn't have a lot of friends. I was her best friend. Has she been receiving help for bipolar disorder? That's what she needs to focus on addressing.
WhiteTan Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) If my ex and I were to fall in love again and all of our failed relationships made us appreciate eachother more, I would be open to it.. but settling with each other out of desperation.. no, i would rather be single than be with someone who is only with me out of convenience. Edited January 3, 2014 by WhiteTan 2
fixing Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Go back to a serial cheater? Id rather drink a pint of paint 2
rec88 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It's waaaay too soon to be worrying about not finding anyone else. It sounds like you could use some practice enforcing your personal boundaries. NC is a good start, so good job on that. Keep it up and before you know it that question won't even cross your mind. And no, I wouldn't.
2fargone Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It wouldn't have anything to do with not finding anyone else. It would be more of a 'first come, first serve' situation.
d0nnivain Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 The cycle of repeated break-ups & make-ups is very unhealthy but it tends to characterize many young relationships because the participants don't have the maturity to handle conflict. I wouldn't return to an EX unless the issues that drove us apart had been resolved. Even then, I'd be leery. As for her coming back, how many times do you want to be her second choice? Really she comes back to you because she couldn't find anyone else & you take her back? You need to grow a spine & develop some self respect. She walk out of your life again. Leave her there.
Omei Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 (edited) IF they changed for the better, yes. And tons of begging, tons. But this would mean they would have to become a different person, again and I would have to believe it's an improvement. I know this won't happen tho and if it did it would take too long its likely I'd be in love again down the road with someone else. I myself would not return if I couldn't find anyone. If a magical witch told me I was to never find someone else in my lifetime yes. So many "ifs" :-/ Edited January 3, 2014 by Omei
organizedchaos Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Hey there. My ex and I have broken up so many times I have lost count. The last time she said that we were finished but then came back after a month or so. We just broke up before Xmas and it was her decision again. This time she says it is final but I am not sure. So far she hasn't had any luck finding anyone as far as I know. It's not been a month yet but we haven't spoken in almost two weeks since I left her apartment key with her landlord. Would you return to an ex if you couldn't find anyone else? There is always someone else. Maybe not right now, maybe not next month, but thinking there will never be anyone else is pretty pathetic.
Mondmellonw Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 If my ex and I were to fall in love again and all of our failed relationships made us appreciate eachother more, I would be open to it.. but settling with each other out of desperation.. no, i would rather be single than be with someone who is only with me out of convenience. Yep, it depends on the reason for the BU. There are things that cannot be dismissed, so hell no, you can't go back to some types of people/relationships.
Jules78 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Never! Not that he is asking me to or anything.
FortunateSon Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 When I ever have thoughts of reconciling with my ex I ask myself the question: why would I want to take her back, she TRIED to do better, she would only be settling in her mind?
Author Roses777 Posted January 8, 2014 Author Posted January 8, 2014 Interesting replies. I guess since this was my longest serious LTR (4+ years) I felt like the world was going to crash. Some days I am feeling okay and think I can cope the whole day without thinking about it and then it hits when at the end of the night, when I am alone. We have split up so many times and the last time was for about two months. Everyone around us said that we got along extremely well. She and I both have mutual female friends on our Facebook accounts, so obviously some ties still exist between us. It's not as if all possible /potential/ communication has been cut. She has blocked me from having any way to reach her but again, that is likely because I got too close to her (she's bipolar, remember?). My bipolar ex seems to be going through a resentful stage, which she has gone through countless times in our relationship. I was doing absolutely nothing one day and she turned around and told me that I was "incredibly annoying", even though I had not said anything at all!
beach Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 No! I never go backwards! Always move forward! Change is good, it brings hope that things can be better!
Simon Phoenix Posted January 8, 2014 Posted January 8, 2014 http://cdn2.screenjunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Al-bundy-ed-oneill-animated-gif-10.gif
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