Kiti Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 My husband of 21 years told me that he does not love me in the way that want him to love him. He has been lying and cheating to me for the last 2 years saying he was working on our relationship, I always felt uneasy about this, could never relax, watched his every move continually trying to have proof of this but he continually said that I was imagining everything. Found out he was still keeping a second phone, even though he said he was not, a few days ago, said he needed to find himself and feels trapped. This after he has 4-5 months abroad each year to sail (without me). He says he is not going to see the other woman necessarily. This is his parting note to me: Dear xxxx This is not what I want to do …. to leave my family that mean so much to me ….but somehow I have to take this step. Maybe I am testing myself …. I don't know. But I could not go on seeing you so hurt and living the way it was. I do love you dearly and you are the most important person in my life. Forgive me, may be I just don't know what I am doing? X xxxx He left without saying goodbye to our daughter 21 years old or leaving any provision etc. for us. I don't know what to do. Devastated beyond comprehension. I love him terribly. Any suggestions of what to make of this?
Haydn Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 This is awful,sorry to hear it. He walked out on his family, you have to see and believe now that you can move forward without him. Sounds like he is trying sonething new so do not be surprised when he come begging for you back. You should not take him back if this happens. You can move on from this. Ignore anything he tries to do, change you locks as he left. keep posting here when you feel you need support. I am no expert on a marriage of 21 years but many here can help you. My husband of 21 years told me that he does not love me in the way that want him to love him. He has been lying and cheating to me for the last 2 years saying he was working on our relationship, I always felt uneasy about this, could never relax, watched his every move continually trying to have proof of this but he continually said that I was imagining everything. Found out he was still keeping a second phone, even though he said he was not, a few days ago, said he needed to find himself and feels trapped. This after he has 4-5 months abroad each year to sail (without me). He says he is not going to see the other woman necessarily. This is his parting note to me: Dear xxxx This is not what I want to do …. to leave my family that mean so much to me ….but somehow I have to take this step. Maybe I am testing myself …. I don't know. But I could not go on seeing you so hurt and living the way it was. I do love you dearly and you are the most important person in my life. Forgive me, may be I just don't know what I am doing? X xxxx He left without saying goodbye to our daughter 21 years old or leaving any provision etc. for us. I don't know what to do. Devastated beyond comprehension. I love him terribly. Any suggestions of what to make of this? 2
Author Kiti Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Thank you for your support. I know he has treated me very badly but I am so hurt and devastated. What if I never find him. He controls all our finances and assets.
Haydn Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 You need to get some legal advice today. Be active on this. Thank you for your support. I know he has treated me very badly but I am so hurt and devastated. What if I never find him. He controls all our finances and assets. 1
strive Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 That is a horrible thing to do. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think he is a coward and an incredibly selfish man for not breaking up with you completely before moving forward in his life. By not separating with you, he means for you to wait for him until he is finished living the life he wants. If it's a good life, then he will start divorce. But if it's not, then he still has you as a backup plan. Win-win for him. I say get him out of your life now. Take back control of your life and whatever you do, don't be his doormat. I know it's painful, but remember your daughter. They way you cope with this will be the way she will treat her future relationships. Show her that you're strong, that this will not break you. Remember, if you need any help, reassurance, anything at all, always post here. If he contacts you, post here first before doing anything! You will have plenty of advice from people who went through the same thing or worse. Especially at the separation and divorce section. 2
strive Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 You need to get some legal advice today. Be active on this. Yes, do this now. This is the #1 thing you should focus on at this very moment or you and your daughter will be left with nothing. 1
Recommended Posts