Angela102 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Hello, I hope I have posted to the right area? My ex and I have been broken up for 2.5yrs (together 11yrs) and he hasn't had a relationship since. About 6mths ago I told him that I'd had a miscarriage towards the end of our relationship (very tense time and his nephew was very sick etc) He is 43 and in the past year he has started hanging out with this group of guys around 27 and behaving like a someone that age - which is fine but he was never into any of that before. He has now started lying about his age and saying he is 31 (he has just started a new Facebook page with his new friends and his new age). He seems to be trying to chat up the ladies who are 22-25. He looks young so can pull it off. What I would really appreciate is an honest mans opinion - is he just living every guys dream or is this weird?
nescafe1982 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'm not a man, but I will say this is weird. And not very well thought-out. What happens when he snags one of these women and then they inevitably find out?
Author Angela102 Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Thanks Nescafe1982 - I think its weird and I worry about him but I can't help him!
gaius Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'm not a man, but I will say this is weird. And not very well thought-out. What happens when he snags one of these women and then they inevitably find out? She'll complain about it for a while then go back to sleeping with him. Instead of not even giving him a chance in the first place since she was so turned off by that number.
MissBee Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Hello, I hope I have posted to the right area? My ex and I have been broken up for 2.5yrs (together 11yrs) and he hasn't had a relationship since. About 6mths ago I told him that I'd had a miscarriage towards the end of our relationship (very tense time and his nephew was very sick etc) He is 43 and in the past year he has started hanging out with this group of guys around 27 and behaving like a someone that age - which is fine but he was never into any of that before. He has now started lying about his age and saying he is 31 (he has just started a new Facebook page with his new friends and his new age). He seems to be trying to chat up the ladies who are 22-25. He looks young so can pull it off. What I would really appreciate is an honest mans opinion - is he just living every guys dream or is this weird? This is weird and also deceitful. Sounds like the cliched mid-life crisis. 1
PegNosePete Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It is weird that you think your ex's lifestyle choices are any of your business! Unless you have kids together and his lifestyle is posing a danger to them? 2
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 He has now started lying about his age and saying he is 31 (he has just started a new Facebook page with his new friends and his new age). Vote for weird, and his friends that he knows in person all know he isn't 31, 43 can not pull off 31 unless the lights are low... while he may look young the telltale signs of his 40's will be there. He might be trying to relive his youth or capture that feeling again or looking for some young thing
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It is weird that you think your ex's lifestyle choices are any of your business! Unless you have kids together and his lifestyle is posing a danger to them? I'd go for that too..an ex is an ex for a reason... but you feel it is okay and not weird for a 43 year old man to lie about his age including creating a fake FB page ?
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'd bet anything that after the breakup he found out that the women he could pull were in their 40's and 50's and he is trying to lower the age of women who will talk with him.
spiderowl Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Lying to a potential partner is always weird. What a way to start anything! 1
nescafe1982 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 She'll complain about it for a while then go back to sleeping with him. Instead of not even giving him a chance in the first place since she was so turned off by that number. I'm not sure where you get that idea, Gaius. I think I would so creeped out by such a deceit that I would not only not see the guy again... I might actually change my phone number.
nescafe1982 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Thanks Nescafe1982 - I think its weird and I worry about him but I can't help him! Well, the good news is that as the ex, it's not your job to help him anymore! Or even talk to him, really...
gaius Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I'm not sure where you get that idea, Gaius. I think I would so creeped out by such a deceit that I would not only not see the guy again... I might actually change my phone number. Sure about that? If you found out tomorrow your current guy was 8 years older than you thought you would end an otherwise perfectly good thing? Most women I know wouldn't.
Eggplant Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Lying and deceit is wrong. This lie indicative of his character. He cannot be trusted.
Lady2163 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I lived with a roommate for a while who was 24-26 when I knew him. He was...well, fat. Huge. He had bad complexion, but had nice teeth and nice hair. He'd always been heavy and not real popularism school. He told all the women he met he was 21 and he was constantly chasing the 16 - 17 year olds. They thought he was worldly. And since he drastically lied on his resume he had a job that paid very very well. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was not all that well endowed or talented in the bedroom. He also admitted to me that he liked them inexperienced so he didn't have to live up to anyone's prior acts. Boys their own age didn't have their own place and there had always been a fear of getting caught. It made me very stressed one time when he brought home a sophomore in high school. I refused to leave, stayed in the living room which was next to his bedroom and the girl wasn't comfortable doing anything with me around. So my guess is your ex is looking for someone with limited history and limited sophistication. Oh - and it has just been in the last year that my blonde hair went dark and grey began to appear. In the last three months, crows feet have appeared. Prior to that, I could easily pass for late 20s and early 30s. (I'm 44) I never had kids and I've been divorced/single a long time. I've had a job that is the best thing I've ever done for 12 years now. Kids, spouses and work are three stressors that can cause aging. I always figured it was because I didn't have those problems that kept me looking a LOT younger than my classmates.
Author Angela102 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 Thanks everyone for your responses - I agree that it isn't any of my buisness but we were together for 11years and (I) certainly can't stop caring for him even though we aren't together. I do worry about him but it's not my business (which is why I am voicing my concern on a forum rather than talking to him about it!). I just can't help thinking this is going to bite him!
Author Angela102 Posted January 5, 2014 Author Posted January 5, 2014 . He might be trying to relive his youth or capture that feeling again or looking for some young thing I think that is exactly right! (and he could pull off early/mid 30's - I guess it's the no kids no stress thing!) Thanks again for your replies
Mariposa10 Posted January 5, 2014 Posted January 5, 2014 I can relate to this a little bit. I feel like my 36 year old ex boyfriend is having a mid life crisis as well. He has started dressing like a teenager. All his new friends are in their mid 20's. And has been doing other questionable things. I feel sorry for him. It looks so pathetic from my perspective. Thanks everyone for your responses - I agree that it isn't any of my buisness but we were together for 11years and (I) certainly can't stop caring for him even though we aren't together. I do worry about him but it's not my business (which is why I am voicing my concern on a forum rather than talking to him about it!). I just can't help thinking this is going to bite him!
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