vanhalenfan Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Good evening everyone, I am having a rough, rough time with trust and insecurity in relationships. It's not just the relationship I am in now (which is going just fine!) I behave a certain way in all relationships. I always get suspicious over absolutely nothing, hate to ever speak of exes, obsessively think about scenarios and outcomes in my mind that make literally no sense....Never has a boyfriend (or my ex-husband) cheated on me, I came from a VERY stable home life as a child with an excellent relationship with both my mother and father, great friends, no fall-outs. I have no reason to distrust anyone, yet I struggle with this. I absolutely hate it. It destroys my mind and relationships. However, in this current relationship (6 months so far) I suffer in silence because things are going so well and I don't want all of this crazy, unfounded cr*p that my mind is making up to mess it up like I've done in the past. I need to find a way to get through this and conquer it. I need to get to the bottom of it. I could do therapy, but I don't really have the money for it. Is there a good self-help book out there that anyone can recommend? I just don't want to deal with this demon anymore It's horrible and it's all the worse since I can't figure out why I am like this. Thanks for any help you can offer!
LadyLee Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 maybe you are supressing something. Maybe get some counseling because it's not fair to your SO.
jba10582 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 (edited) Going through therapy helps you to remember past events, and is something maybe only you can access. Many emotional issues can stem from things that had a powerful negative impact on you at one time in your life. Here are some ideas that may or may not have happened. Childhood conditioning - Parents often tell their kids "don't talk to strangers", "stranger-danger", "come here (in a real protective manner when a stranger is around). Obviously the intentions are good from the parent, when teaching a child. There comes a point, as a healthy adult ,if these things are carried through, could lead to trust issues, isolation and loneliness. A remark someone said to you in the past where it made you lose trust or feel a lot of resentment, or if someone you really trusted let you down in some impacting way. Obviously a past relationship is the most direct way this could happen. The movies/songs/media's can literally program you to think certain ways and you may never know where it comes from. Think of a person listening mindlessly to their favorite song over and over again and repeating the language and words so much that it can become part of their reality, or, perhaps falling asleep while watching a movie or the news and having dreams. For the self help book, there is a book called - You can heal your life - Louise Hay It basically digs deep through all the layers in order to help you find the root of you problems and replace self limiting beliefs by planting new seeds of belief through positive affirmations. Edited January 4, 2014 by jba10582 self help book
Recommended Posts