joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'm single again and thought about reaching out to someone I haven't talked to in over 5 years. We are friends on Facebook. I'm early 40s. She is mid 30s. We never dated formally, but we were friends. We flirted for a bit, but nothing really serious. Back then she was in college, I was working. For some reason, I thought she was not quite mature. She finished college, moved to another city(few hours away) and has been working for a while. I have been in relationships since then and her as well. Have you ever had the need to reach back in time to find love again? How did you manage it? What strategies did you use? Ladies, how do you feel about an old flame trying to get back into your life? All opinions welcome.
Lady2163 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I tracked down every single flame I had a connection with in my life 13 years ago. This was before everyone had Facebook. I did a lot of google searches and even paid a ridiculous amount for some addresses to which I sent a personal form letter, if I couldnt tell they were married. All my old flames, with the exception of one were married. He is gay. Never saw that coming at all! So I say, give it a shot!
BikerAccnt Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 It doesn't really sound as if she was an old flame, more of an old friend. Still, that being the case it couldn't hurt, if nothing else you could get a friend back.
deathandtaxes Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Nothing wrong with reconnecting. All it takes is a 'hello'. But with her being so far away, why bother much at all if you're hoping for something beyond friends?
FitChick Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I just spotted an ex on LinkedIn. Damn, he's gotten even hotter -- Colin Firth with glasses. I never was interested in him because he was a bit of a jerk twenty years ago. He was newly divorced and later I heard he was dating someone whom none of his friends liked. Then he moved away. I don't know how to find out if he remarried. It's not as easy as you'd think to find someone online. His name isn't that common either. Yes, I could contact him via LinkedIn but I want to find out as much as I can beforehand. There is a multi-year gap on his resume. Maybe he was in a mental hospital, became an alcoholic and was homeless, was in jail, etc. Who knows?
organizedchaos Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'm single again and thought about reaching out to someone I haven't talked to in over 5 years. We are friends on Facebook. I'm early 40s. She is mid 30s. We never dated formally, but we were friends. We flirted for a bit, but nothing really serious. Back then she was in college, I was working. For some reason, I thought she was not quite mature. She finished college, moved to another city(few hours away) and has been working for a while. I have been in relationships since then and her as well. Have you ever had the need to reach back in time to find love again? How did you manage it? What strategies did you use? Ladies, how do you feel about an old flame trying to get back into your life? All opinions welcome. Well, she's not an old flame if you never had any type of physical relationship with her. But just reach out and ask her to lunch or something casual to catch up. See if there are sparks.
Onethirtyeight Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I'm single again and thought about reaching out to someone I haven't talked to in over 5 years. We are friends on Facebook. I'm early 40s. She is mid 30s. We never dated formally, but we were friends. We flirted for a bit, but nothing really serious. Back then she was in college, I was working. For some reason, I thought she was not quite mature. She finished college, moved to another city(few hours away) and has been working for a while. I have been in relationships since then and her as well. Have you ever had the need to reach back in time to find love again? How did you manage it? What strategies did you use? Ladies, how do you feel about an old flame trying to get back into your life? All opinions welcome. I've been doing this a lot with people I knew in high school. At the time I hated everyone and didn't pay attention to them at all. Now I'm trying to connect with them via facebook. I've found the best way to do this at my age (mid 20's) is to friend them and start liking their posts and eventually commenting on them. Finally you can IM them.
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Wow .. interesting to go back that far back. Sounds like you were really determined to know how things had progressed with some of your old flames. Well, nothing you can do if someone turned out to prefer other genders. I tracked down every single flame I had a connection with in my life 13 years ago. This was before everyone had Facebook. I did a lot of google searches and even paid a ridiculous amount for some addresses to which I sent a personal form letter, if I couldnt tell they were married. All my old flames, with the exception of one were married. He is gay. Never saw that coming at all! So I say, give it a shot!
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Thanks. An old flirt might sound more appropriate maybe. Looking at how she has progressed, might definitely be worth a try. It doesn't really sound as if she was an old flame, more of an old friend. Still, that being the case it couldn't hurt, if nothing else you could get a friend back.
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Yea, I thought about the distance as well. And yes , I'm hoping for more beyond friendship. I know the long distance thing can be hard. But I believe, sometimes there are good reasons for it. Long distance is like 3-4 hours drive. I think it is manageable. Nothing wrong with reconnecting. All it takes is a 'hello'. But with her being so far away, why bother much at all if you're hoping for something beyond friends?
emva07 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 yeah, I don't see why not! You never know what can happen!
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Yea, I like this thought ... What have you got to lose?
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Wow ... 20 years back ... now that's a long time. But, kind of tell me ... 5 years is nothing. Good thing for me is, she is on my Facebook, so I can see her updates and she can see mine ... I just spotted an ex on LinkedIn. Damn, he's gotten even hotter -- Colin Firth with glasses. I never was interested in him because he was a bit of a jerk twenty years ago. He was newly divorced and later I heard he was dating someone whom none of his friends liked. Then he moved away. I don't know how to find out if he remarried. It's not as easy as you'd think to find someone online. His name isn't that common either. Yes, I could contact him via LinkedIn but I want to find out as much as I can beforehand. There is a multi-year gap on his resume. Maybe he was in a mental hospital, became an alcoholic and was homeless, was in jail, etc. Who knows?
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 No, never been anything physical between us, but lots of hanging out together and such. She lives hours drive away ... so a lunch might not be in the immediate plans ... But I can definitely message her and see what she's been up to ... Well, she's not an old flame if you never had any type of physical relationship with her. But just reach out and ask her to lunch or something casual to catch up. See if there are sparks.
Author joeLove Posted January 3, 2014 Author Posted January 3, 2014 Thanks. Yea, we are already friends on Facebook ... I've been doing this a lot with people I knew in high school. At the time I hated everyone and didn't pay attention to them at all. Now I'm trying to connect with them via facebook. I've found the best way to do this at my age (mid 20's) is to friend them and start liking their posts and eventually commenting on them. Finally you can IM them.
Frank2thepoint Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Years ago I reached out to an ex looking for sex. She was married, or at least claimed she was married, but I asked again if we can still have sex. No dice. But hey, you may get lucky.
jba10582 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 One reached out to me during the holidays right before New Years, and I feel bad for not responding to her. I was not re-interested maybe because of the timing, but I see no problem if things worked out well for you.
Recommended Posts