lophelia Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 So I was dumped about a month ago by this guy I was seeing for around 3 months.. Quite a big thing is, he'd said from the beginning that he might be moving abroad permanently at the end of January for a job. Although it wasn't certain and he downplayed it, I'd always assumed it was so I wasn't ever expecting an exclusive relationship etc, just a bit of fun. However unfortunately I did end up really liking him- I did my best not to be really keen but maybe he could tell. We definitely had chemistry but it was always weirdly a bit awkward and we took things quite slow- he was very shy making a move at first! It was also a running joke that he never had any idea what I was thinking. I told him i'd rather wait until we def liked each other before we slept together (to which he said 'obviously' he really liked me). Anyway, quite soon after we did he got confirmation that he was definitely moving. He asked if I was going to come and visit him as well as talking about a load of other future plans, which I laughed off luckily (always difficult to tell when he was serious, it was quite a banter-y relationship). After that he then started being a bit weird- texted saying he was "confused" (I assumed he was referring to something else at the time), told me he was busy with work and couldn't see me for a week but spent the week calling me all the time. He also asked to see me when I think he knew I wasn't free. Anyway he then dumped me, saying "it had potential, but..." "I feel guilty not seeing you", "I could have invited you to work events, but I didn't" (even though I'd never invited him to mine or ever indicated that I wanted to come to his!!) and "I can't do casual"... We met up a week later (my idea)- I wanted to leave things on good terms and to say that although I really liked him, I'd never been expecting anything serious. I told him he didn't have to say anything so he didn't- he just thanked me for initiating the meeting. Since then he sent me a random text to which I replied semi-flirtatiously, kind of as a joke (couldn't help it). He waited about a week before responding, I replied and he did again, but he wasn't exactly forthcoming so I left it. I know I should be over it by now but it was a shock and I'm so confused about the whole thing that I'm struggling to let it go. I feel like he completely changed his mind and I now feel totally inferior, and I'm upset that he doesn't seem fussed about never seeing me ever again. I'm wondering if he was straight-up lying when he said he really liked me, since I know I wouldn't be able to completely change my mind in the space of 2 weeks!! Just for the record, he's had normal long-term relationships in the past and I know he considers himself a really "good guy", haha... Opinions very much appreciated!!
Scales Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You may never know the real reason, but the truth is what does it matter. Hes gone now. Hes moving abroad and taking a long distance relationship with him is not what he wanted. Or maybe he just found another girl he liked more. Or maybe he just didn't like you as much. Who knows. No one here can tell you why. If you feel mad, confused, and angry it is perfectly natural but you should move on now. The longer you wait the worse it gets.
Haydn Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You were dropped. Dont be plan b. No contact all the way. Dont look for answers just try to move forward.
Author lophelia Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Yeah I know I'm being ridiculous.... it's just upsetting! Edited January 2, 2014 by lophelia
Recommended Posts