yartsd Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 I have recently "fallen" for a girl. We are very compatible; however she has always said there just was not that chemistry. We spent two nights together but really did not click and we both want it to. We laugh and enjoy the same things. My kids and her kid have played together, I've met her parents, We've spent considerable time together including Christmas and New Years. I have been dating other people and would be willing to date just her, but I feel insecure. I' m really feeling the pain of love. We talked last night and she still wants to be friends and spend time with me but she can not see us being lovers. I have other girlfriends who are head over heels for me and that I've been intimate with. It's just that with in the last 2 weeks, when I'm with them, I'm thinking of her. I do not like the feeling What should I do?
iceisles Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Unfortunately, if the chemistry isn't there after a few solid interactions (3 or 4 dates, for example), it will probably never develop to the level you'd like it to. It sounds like she is speaking from her heart when she says there isn't anything there. I know how much you want there to be. Trust me, I do. I know you're thinking about her, and there's nothing wrong with spending more time with her. But at this point, I would consider other romantic avenues and accept that nothing may develop between you two. At least you have other possibilities - the worst is when you focus all your energy on one person and it just never materializes. Good luck.
Author yartsd Posted January 7, 2005 Author Posted January 7, 2005 Is chemistry sex? Sexual Attraction? There is Sexual Tension. We kiss, we feel, but just at that time.....nothing sexual. We both came away feeling frustrated. I'm probably fishing for something to hold on to, but there is something about this woman.
iceisles Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Chemistry goes way beyond sexual attraction or desire. If getting along and joking around comes naturally, that is also chemistry. If you both think alike or have a similar direction in life, that is chemistry. I also believe that some part of the "chemistry" debate is also greatly physiological in nature and completely out of our control. It's either you've got it, or you don't. Kind of like a sports star that joins a new team and underperforms - for whatever reason, things just don't click. Sometimes you just have to realize that and cut the strings. You can fish for something to hold onto, but just make sure it's genuine - it's easy to find false justification for "sticking around" when it comes to love.
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