AvaLennon Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Hi all, I have a concern and wanted to get some opinions. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple months ago saying he just didn't want a relationship etc etc. We were together a few months and he was always talking about a future with me. When we were together he was always touching me, kissing me, cuddling, sex the whole bit. The week before he broke up with me all those things stopped not completely but noticeably enough. Since the break up we have remained friends and will talk often for a few days and then nothing for a week. He always makes pervy comments to me etc. Anyway, we have mutual friends who are nosy. A mutual friend of ours apparently questioned him recently about our relationship. According to her she asked why we weren't together anymore and his response was "I never found her attractive and I was never sexually attracted to her" Now there was an incident last month where another mutual friend of ours brought me up in conversation and he insisted i sent her to question him for me. That's not at all true but I'm thinking he's thinking this again about this second mutual friends questions. I've moved on from this guy but wow this hurts. And it makes no sense. Why be someone's boyfriend if you're not attracted to them? His actions when we were together also contradict this. It just makes me feel so terrible. So I'm wondering if any of you have an opinion on this? Does he mean it? Is he just saying these things hoping that they'll get back to me because he's assuming I'm sending people to question him about our relationship? So confused.
DorkBreakfast Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Sounds like something hurtful that he knew would get back to you. Some people are just plain mean. Then again if he truly means that, he has much bigger issues than that and it's good you aren't around him anymore.
Phantom888 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 It depends...but really doesn't matter now. When I was with a woman for several months and finally broke up with her, it was because of a number of reasons. I found her attractive in the beginning, but less attractive as I got to know her. She was not for me, but we had sex and affection during all that time. I don't think I was deceiving her. I told her several times that maybe we should just be friends, but she insisted on keep trying.
GemmaUK Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Sounds to me like it's something he would say to a woman he is attracted to. Take it with a pinch of salt. He may not even have said it. Is she a really good friend of yours? 1
Author AvaLennon Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 Unfortunately he definitely said it because she showed me the text. So I can't even pretend he didn't say it. I wish it didn't bother me but it does a lot. When she asked him how he could be in a relationship with me and not be attracted to me his response was, "I'm a guy and guys do stupid things." Oh and he told her that sex with me was terrible and I quote "Imagine throwing a hot dog down a hallway and that hot dog is a dead fish."
Author AvaLennon Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Oh and he said he wasn't attracted to me right away. Mind you we were friends first. He knew what I looked like even if we hadn't seen each other in a few years. And the relationship started because he decided to pursue me. But he told my friend his reason for pursuing me was that he wasn't doing anything at the time and was curious. Edited January 2, 2014 by AvaLennon
tlegend Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Oh and he said he wasn't attracted to me right away. Mind you we were friends first. He knew what I looked like even if we hadn't seen each other in a few years. And the relationship started because he decided to pursue me. But he told my friend his reason for pursuing me was that he wasn't doing anything at the time and was curious. You are dwelling on a question you can't answer. You are wondering why he left you. There is a possibility, and a probability, that you won't find the answer to this question, even if you asked him. Take this experience as a learning experience of what transpired to put yourself in this position. Take steps to avoid being intimate with people like this and further your understanding of your own actions to be lead to be in a situation like this. My 2 cents.
mrs rubble Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 He sounds like an absolute tosser. What awful, nasty and unecasary things to say! You should be celebrating your escape......and wondering why on earth you're wasting your precious time worrying about such a sub-human piece of trash. 2
Haydn Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Get rid of your mutual friends. Always can be a big problem.
Author AvaLennon Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 He sounds like an absolute tosser. What awful, nasty and unecasary things to say! You should be celebrating your escape......and wondering why on earth you're wasting your precious time worrying about such a sub-human piece of trash. This made me smile.. thank you. If only I went on about this "man" you would not even believe it. 1
Leigh 87 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 This guy is a desperate loser. NO guy I know of who is a nice, genuine and decent man, resorts to having sex with a woman who he is NOT even a little bit attracted to. Only immature jerks bang everything that moves; real men hold out for women they are actually into physically speaking. ^^^^ guys are not after models mostly, but most men with good integrity at least wait for a girl they feel SOME attraction towards..... I cannot even begin to fathom spreading my legs for a man who I was not attracted to in any way. 1
pteromom Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Oh and he told her that sex with me was terrible and I quote "Imagine throwing a hot dog down a hallway and that hot dog is a dead fish." !!!! Sounds like you are better off without him! What a jerk, and I am sorry he hurt you. Whether he meant it or not, it doesn't mean you aren't attractive, or that you wouldn't have absolutely wonderful sex with someone else. Takes TWO to have good sex. It is possible that he is just convincing himself of all the ways you suck so that living without you doesn't hurt. What he is saying could have no basis in reality. 1
MoooOinkBaaa Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 Don't worry about what he said, he must be miserable to write such an obnoxious text. It doesn't mean anything. I would sock him in the nose and kick him in the nuts. Then he will know what it feels like to be treated bad.
Riou Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 My ex said completely opposite things after the break up as well,when all her actions showed otherwise. I believe he is just trying to hurt you because he is not having a good time now and wants to convince himself that he is doing better than you,either that or he's a psycho.
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