abby2 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 How do you tell if a guy only wants sex versus if he wants a relationship? Is there any signs, hints, actions or words should I be watch out for? Usually how long does it takes to see his intention? I would appreciate if both girls & guys offer some advice, thanks!
Oomlotte Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Usually a guy that just wants sex moves fast - you may feel he's really into you because you just met and he contacts you daily with good morning texts or I know my user used to text me when he was with friends and be like "I should have hung out with you instead..." Even though I hadn't asked him to hang out and we just met. They obviously push for sex quickly but might feign concern for your boundaries - he might say something like "Is there any reason you aren't wanting to get physical?" Or something while acting like he is cool with not being physical. He may, as part of getting to know you, ask about your sexual interests... If a guy says he is not looking for something serious and/or that he just wants to have fun he is most likely saying he wants to pump and dump you. If after you have sex with him all the attention and everything you got for however long you waited to bone stops - that's the saddest way to learn he was a user. If you text him after sex and he does not respond for multiple hours to a day do not ever see him again and give him the satisfaction of using you twice. If he calls you babe in the first week of knowing you that is probably a dead give away. If you tell yourself he's probably using you and then try to ignore it the he is definitely using you. I know we all think it before we act - don't go against your better judgement no matter what he's saying. 1
Author abby2 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 Usually a guy that just wants sex moves fast - you may feel he's really into you because you just met and he contacts you daily with good morning texts or I know my user used to text me when he was with friends and be like "I should have hung out with you instead..." Even though I hadn't asked him to hang out and we just met. They obviously push for sex quickly but might feign concern for your boundaries - he might say something like "Is there any reason you aren't wanting to get physical?" Or something while acting like he is cool with not being physical. He may, as part of getting to know you, ask about your sexual interests... If a guy says he is not looking for something serious and/or that he just wants to have fun he is most likely saying he wants to pump and dump you. If after you have sex with him all the attention and everything you got for however long you waited to bone stops - that's the saddest way to learn he was a user. If you text him after sex and he does not respond for multiple hours to a day do not ever see him again and give him the satisfaction of using you twice. If he calls you babe in the first week of knowing you that is probably a dead give away. If you tell yourself he's probably using you and then try to ignore it the he is definitely using you. I know we all think it before we act - don't go against your better judgement no matter what he's saying. Thank you for the advice, very helpful
tlegend Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 How do you tell if a guy only wants sex versus if he wants a relationship? Is there any signs, hints, actions or words should I be watch out for? Usually how long does it takes to see his intention? I would appreciate if both girls & guys offer some advice, thanks! I have been recently accused of such, and so I would like to comment. However, instead of giving signs to look out for....how about doing your own ..."little tests". 1) Come over and try to just talk about something, or do something in kind. Does he actually enjoy your presence and hangs out with you or is he constantly trying to get you into bed the entire time? 2) After sex, does he cuddle and talk with you, or is he looking to leave / make you leave? 3) Is your only communication to set up times to hang out? Is he not interested in YOU and what YOU'RE doing in life? You may not be able to tell if the guy is just in it for sex or not by the first time it happens. However, after a few times, you will be able to tell very easily. Noone can put on a fascade for THAT long, and if they are able to, then they have some DEEP issues that you should just bounce out and run from anyway. Don't make too hasty of a decision. Every guy is different. Just because 1 guy used you for sex doesn't mean the next guy will. And stop putting yourself in a position to be used for sex. 1
winny Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 How do you tell if a guy only wants sex versus if he wants a relationship? Is there any signs, hints, actions or words should I be watch out for? Usually how long does it takes to see his intention? I would appreciate if both girls & guys offer some advice, thanks! He will tell you everything you want to hear. Within a week or so of knowing you, he would send you texts with sexual tones. Ask you for sexts. Might say more than once and in a joking way that he would like to take you home with him. Would communicate thru texts mostly. When you meet him he would might try to touch you a lot...
Author abby2 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I have been recently accused of such, and so I would like to comment. However, instead of giving signs to look out for....how about doing your own ..."little tests". 1) Come over and try to just talk about something, or do something in kind. Does he actually enjoy your presence and hangs out with you or is he constantly trying to get you into bed the entire time? 2) After sex, does he cuddle and talk with you, or is he looking to leave / make you leave? 3) Is your only communication to set up times to hang out? Is he not interested in YOU and what YOU'RE doing in life? You may not be able to tell if the guy is just in it for sex or not by the first time it happens. However, after a few times, you will be able to tell very easily. Noone can put on a fascade for THAT long, and if they are able to, then they have some DEEP issues that you should just bounce out and run from anyway. Don't make too hasty of a decision. Every guy is different. Just because 1 guy used you for sex doesn't mean the next guy will. And stop putting yourself in a position to be used for sex. Thank you, good ideas!
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