SarahB100 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I have been dating someone for two months, we became official over a month ago. It has gone perfectly so far, pretty much. He is in his final year at uni and is two years younger than me. He used to get around quite a bit and has racked up quite a number, but from the day we first kissed he has stopped that behaviour. He has come round to mine frequently, he first brought up exclusivity, wanted me to meet his friends and family and he has told me he has lost interest in other girls completely. I don't doubt that he has feelings for me, I trust him etc. we get on so well, we are compatible and so similar in many aspects. There is one major problem; he wants to go travelling on the other side of the world for a year with his best friend, after he graduates. I knew this before we started dating, but I didn't realise it would become a massive issue because I didn't realise how quickly I would develop these feelings for him. This has never happened to me before and I think I am falling in love with him. I have brought it up before and he has said we will see where we are when the time comes. Thing is, that feels very vague to me. He has said previously (jokingly) he didn't think he could go longer than a month without sex, which makes me think he can't want to do LD. I also mentioned casually we would be breaking up in several months and he asked me not to mention it because it would upset him - he made no mention of long distance. We have been apart for two weeks with our families for christmas, and it has brought this to the front of my mind even more because I have missed him so much. I don't think I could do this for a year. He was also supposed to be booking his flights over the holidays, though he hasn't mentioned to me he has done this. I don't want to pressurise/guilt him in any way. I absolutely would not want him to stay with me out of a sense of guilt or obligation. I would only want him to do it because he has weighed the options and has decided he is happier with me. But I don't know how to bring this up. It upsets me so much our time together is so limited when I'm happier with him than I have been with anyone. It's been two and a half years since I broke up with my previous boyfriend and for the first time in my life I feel ready to consider a long term relationship. Am I expecting too much from him, wanting the possibility of this going further than just a few months together? At this point I am thinking I should break up with him now, rather than wait and become even more emotionally involved and therefore even more heartbroken when he leaves. It's like having a dark cloud over me. It doesn't help I can't gauge what he wants from our relationship - since his ex (also broke up two and a half years ago) he has not introduced a girlfriend to his friends or family but has wanted me to meet his since day one pretty much. He wants us to go on a mini break, he says he sees me more than his housemates do etc. But then he does things such as, we haven't seen each other for over two weeks now. He is coming back home but has agreed to play a rugby game for his team, THEN see me, which makes me feel that I am not a priority to him. Sorry for the lengthy topic, I am just very overwhelmed by this situation and by my feelings for him.
d0nnivain Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 I think you should enjoy the time you have together but understand there is an expiration date. Have fun. Don't worry so much about the future. Set each other free when he leaves but agree to keep in touch. Don't expect much, maybe the occasional FB post, the ability to look at any pictures he uploads but not much more. See where you both are when he gets back. It's unlikely he'll be in once place long enough to form a lasting new relationship. You will have that option. But it's better than sitting home fretting about what he's doing for a whole year while you can't be together.
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