Editbee Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) I like saving money too and don't go out of my way wasting it every day otherwise I would be on debt but that doesn't mean I'll go to the extreme of not even trying making an effort on a bf's or best friend's birthday or certain special occasions. I'm starting to feel that some men are nowadays exaggerating with the ''I'm going to go as cheap as possible'' thing. I have a friend who broke up with her bf because that guy would go crazy with a calculating counting cents of differences and made her paid for even that, giving her nothing for her birthday with the excuse of ''Well I already told you happy b-day'' and all this talk about equality (I don't see how that relates to not trying any effort and being a straight forward douche) while my friend would always make an effort and is the type that likes sharing. I've only read a post once of a guy who wasn't struggling with finances and still took his long-term relationship gf a McDonalds for her birthday and didn't care too much. I have never done that to my past bf's nor best friends and would be beyond embarrassed to. Even if I had no money, I would at least take my time making a recipe I know and elaborate something. I find both extremes (overly splendid man and extremely frugal man) turn offs. Edited January 2, 2014 by Editbee
DorkBreakfast Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I believe it all depends on the individual. Like all things in life, going to the extreme ends of a spectrum (stingy vs. frugal) is going to be bad. Finding the happy medium is always best. I can't speak for 100% of other men, but I find a woman who has her finances and spending habits under control to be refreshing. Having a healthy understanding of revenue vs. costs is always a good thing.
carhill Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Example: Saving money can be cutting out a personal expense and instead using that money to add to capital. Being stingy can be allowing a generous friend to always pick up the tab for lunch whilst one spirits away the condiments from the table. Some men do confuse such issues, or appear to. Appearances are interesting things.
Author Editbee Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I find it just so amazing that if we point this out to them and explain the differences, they start throwing the words feminism and equality or get very defensive. They apparently don't understand there is a balance to everything in life and all extremes are bad.
ThatMan Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I believe that finances should be kept separate as much as possible in relationships. What you do with your own money is entirely up to you.
MissBee Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Being smart about money isn't the same as being cheap and stingy. Cheap and stingy people are not only that way about money but their whole attitude is that way. Cheap isn't about how much money you have as you can be a cheap billionaire. The whole counting cents, saying you already told me happy birthday and all of that. I absolutely CANNOT deal with that! I was in the early stages of dating this guy once and I would bring up stuff in conversation just about places I went to, things I did, what I ate, the perfume I enjoyed, just normal conversations and he would ALWAYS find a way to say "Hmmm...how much did that cost? It sounds expensive." It was such a turn off and I had to stop seeing him, as initially we were friends thinking of taking it further but I absolutely cannot handle that. I like the finer things in life, yes, and I save so that I can spend on the things I enjoy, which includes doing nice things for the people I care about. It's also not even about money, as it's quite possible to spend little money and lots of planning and thought on a great gift for someone. I actually enjoy being frugal and being able to buy good things and nice gifts for people that seem to cost a lot but don't or should cost more but I got a deal. But as I said, cheap people are not just cheap about money they are generally stingy in most other ways so they won't spend on a gift or dinner neither will they thoughtfully try to get a good gift that is free or reasonably priced. Once I see that a man is cheap and stingy, I'm out the door!
samsungxoxo Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Why do these guy even think that purposely going as stingy as possible and putting little to no effort on a gf's birthday is going to turn on women? Their personality stinks overall and chances are he's like that with others too. If they're like that during the whole relationship then I can imagine how it would be like if getting married to them.
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