jen008 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) I am a 23 year old college student. I don't live on campus so I don't have time to interact with other students since I work 2 jobs. I usually go to class then head to work. I work with older people so there isn't anyone my age to interact with. The last guy I dated I met at my old job. I worked with younger people close to my age but that was almost 2 years ago. My friends are all spread apart. Some went to college in Boston, LA, Houston, New York, so I don't see them too often. They are my only friends. But we live too far away to physically see eachother anymore. This puts a strain on my social/dating life. Since I don't live on campus, I don't have any new friends, which means I don't go out too often to bars or places I can meet guys unless my friends come back home and we can all go out. Where can an average 23 year old girl that doesn't go out much find a guy that is just looking to be young and fun, but open to the possibility of developing into something serious? If I could have a perfect situation, I would like someone I could casually date. Maybe friends with benefits? And if things progress, it will turn into a committed relationship. But it doesn't have to go this way. I am personally not a huge fan of online dating. I tried it for probably a week sometime last year, but I truly feel it has not come to that yet. Nothing against online dating, but that would be my last resort. I don't feel I have exhausted my options enough to settle with online dating. Any suggestions? Thanks Edited January 2, 2014 by jen008 1
JennHenn Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Are you sure you have time for a guy in your life? You sound really busy!
ShyGuy5 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I've been wondering the same thing. I am 22 male. Starting to feel the pressure that if I don't find someone within the next semester, then I don't know where I will try. College seems to be the easiest because you know the age and somewhat similar background. Everything else requires a cold approach, which can be tough, especially if you don't know how old the girl is, if she has a man, or if she is with friends.
Author jen008 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 You two live near each other? Haha hmm maybe:laugh:
Author jen008 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I've been wondering the same thing. I am 22 male. Starting to feel the pressure that if I don't find someone within the next semester, then I don't know where I will try. College seems to be the easiest because you know the age and somewhat similar background. Everything else requires a cold approach, which can be tough, especially if you don't know how old the girl is, if she has a man, or if she is with friends. Do you live on campus or off? That's how I feel too. This is going to be my last semester and I feel like this is pretty much it. Once I get a job I will become part of the perpetual working life. Unless I find a job working with people my age, I have no idea where I can meet anyone I could potentially date.
Author jen008 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 Are you sure you have time for a guy in your life? You sound really busy! I do. I have always had this schedule since I started college. I had time for the last guy I dated almost 2 years ago. I just decided to make him a priority and made time even though it was hard!
xRJ85x Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Damn, I wish I was still in college. That's where I got the most girls. Just find guys in class and get to know them. Honestly, college has to be the easiest place to find someone.
ShyGuy5 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Looking back I am extremely disappointed in myself. I had plenty of time to do things, I just didn't do them. I went to class and ran track for a few years, but relatively no social life. I guess I was waiting for something to just land in my lap. I dont really drink (even though it would probably loosen me up a little and give me the confidence to talk to some girls) and parties seemed boring to me because I would end up just standing there awkwardly. Then I dipped into multiplayer video games because it was where I felt comfortable and ended up losing all connection to the real world. I spent the last few months trying to pick up the pieces, but I am finally ready to start over now. Little late now, but better late than never right?
xRJ85x Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Looking back I am extremely disappointed in myself. I had plenty of time to do things, I just didn't do them. I went to class and ran track for a few years, but relatively no social life. I guess I was waiting for something to just land in my lap. I dont really drink (even though it would probably loosen me up a little and give me the confidence to talk to some girls) and parties seemed boring to me because I would end up just standing there awkwardly. Then I dipped into multiplayer video games because it was where I felt comfortable and ended up losing all connection to the real world. I spent the last few months trying to pick up the pieces, but I am finally ready to start over now. Little late now, but better late than never right? I wouldn't worry if you're about to finish college. Its one thing when you've got time, but I learned the hard way. People are almost guaranteed to move away.
FineFreshFierce Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Have you heard of Tinder? You should get that app or try the gym.
Sunlight72 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You will meet people after college. Don't worry. However, for the moment let's say you met a guy you like tomorrow. How much chance would he have for ever taking you out? Could his schedule possibly fit with the 3 minutes you have a week to go on a date? I can't imagine it. The way you've described your current life I'd say you have to meet him somewhere you already spend time. Look harder there. Get to class 10 minutes early and converse with people - women and men. Stay after class 10 or 15 minutes and find someone to talk to. If you are approachable, soon (within minutes, days or weeks) a guy will find his way to join the chit chat. Soon another will also. If you are running straight from class to your job, the guys who are intrigued by you and want to meet you are soon giving up on you and meeting someone else. Someone who appears to have 5 minutes to talk. Best Wishes, Sunlight P.S. If you start coming up with reasons you can't do this, then please just quit thinking of dating for now. Sometimes it doesn't fit our lives. If you really want to date, and aren't just 'venting' about how rough your life is, then do this several times a week for several months. Make friends with people in your classes - friends enough at least to know their names and say hi for 5 minutes. 1
mortensorchid Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You will meet people after your college years, don't worry about that. As to how and where you can meet GOOD people? Try as many things as you possibly can and don't miss an opportunity to try something new. I am 39 now, and I still never miss out on things to do with others in the hopes that IT can somehow happen to me. You will meet a lot of horrible bottom feeders as well, but you have to sift through them - and there are a LOT of them. More than you think, perhaps. If there is one piece of advice I can give you, however, it's that you should not look to work to make new friends. You have to see them everyday in and out and they can and will take things about you and use them against you. Look outside of the workplace for friends and networking, because inside work you will get bitten.
MrCastle Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 There are plenty of guys in college who will want to have a casual relationship with you. Just find one you like and start the process. What pisses me off about college is it really is nothing like the movies. Very rarely do I find girls who are down for casual sex and most of the girls I go after are in exclusive relationships. Yet all the guys are horny and single and I have to compete with them in every class I'm in. I don't get it. Most women are taken but the men are not? Who's dating these women? Why are all these guys single? Makes no sense.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 There are plenty of guys in college who will want to have a casual relationship with you. Just find one you like and start the process. What pisses me off about college is it really is nothing like the movies. Very rarely do I find girls who are down for casual sex and most of the girls I go after are in exclusive relationships. Yet all the guys are horny and single and I have to compete with them in every class I'm in. I don't get it. Most women are taken but the men are not? Who's dating these women? Why are all these guys single? Makes no sense. That's because you have no game 1
married2school Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I like what someone else said… get to class early, talk to and get to know some people. It sounds like class is the best place to meet people your age right now. I online dated for a while, but it just never completely clicked. Started med school in the fall, and a guy caught my eye… He never studies in the library so the only time I could flirt or talk was before, in, between, or right after classes. Before class, I would always make sure to enter from the front so he would see me and I could flash a smile and a "Good morning." Between class and lab, we'd have quick, "How are you? How did you like that lecture?" sort of convo's. After class sometimes we would wait on the bus with friends and all chat. Eventually we were walking back to a parking lot and both decided to go get coffee together. I asked him on a date a week later, and now we've been dating three months. Though, I admit, I think the hardest part is finding someone who is worth the effort. 1
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