lostsoul4286 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Does an ex with BPD ever come back after you dump them? Ever have an experience with this? Sorry, I just miss her so bad.
pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You dumped her and you want her to come back? She has BPD and he wants her back? Run, OP. Run for your life... 1
Author lostsoul4286 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 You dumped her and you want her to come back? I know its stupid. I dumped her, once I understood her behavior, I asked her to give it a second chance and she flipped the script. Lol the story is in my previous threads. I know I'm running into a burning house with a gas can at hand, but I miss her.
broken11 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 i think you should give it a go. but make sure u don't put ur hopes up
headinthecloud Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 You're just feeling lonely. You need to put all this energy into meeting other people. Don't get hung up on someone who is mentally ill, she will kill your spirit in the long run. 2
HeartinPain Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 If you dumped her and genuinely want to reconcile and put the effort into making the relationship work.. you need to initiate contact with her.
Xemyd Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I would contact her, but take it slow. Don't jump into anything, just talk about it.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Does an ex with BPD ever come back after you dump them? Ever have an experience with this? Sorry, I just miss her so bad. Conditions of the person has nothing to do with it. Do solar eclipses happen? Are there survivors after a plane crash? Do people in the south use turn signals? Yes its possible, but the odds are low so thats why you have to move on. ANY form of reconciliation will happen when both parties move on fully and down the road 2
SurplusIndifference Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Does an ex with BPD ever come back after you dump them? Ever have an experience with this? Sorry, I just miss her so bad. Tons dumpees on here that are looking to get back with their ex.
Author lostsoul4286 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I would contact her, but take it slow. Don't jump into anything, just talk about it. Did that, wound up telling her I couldn't even be friends with her because she doesn't acknowledge the damage she does through her actions.
broken11 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Did that, wound up telling her I couldn't even be friends with her because she doesn't acknowledge the damage she does through her actions. just call her and tell her how u feel. at least you will know you gave it a go and will never regret it
pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Did that, wound up telling her I couldn't even be friends with her because she doesn't acknowledge the damage she does through her actions. Then what makes you think she's learned a lesson? Seriously, you can do better. People with BPD need constant therapy - unless she's getting that, don't even go near her. 2
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Did that, wound up telling her I couldn't even be friends with her because she doesn't acknowledge the damage she does through her actions. You've done what you can. I think you understand that too so that is good thing. However, whats done is done. There is nothing else you can do. Everything else will push her away. You cant fix those who dont want to be helped. If you feel she doesnt want to "acknowledge" her faults or isseus, then that isnt yours to fix. Keep moving forward
maiden555 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Lostsoul, I am wondering the same thing tonight, with a broken heart. I broke up with a (likely) BPD ex years ago. He technically did the dumping although I made it clear I was near my end. He completely detached from me for a few months and I did from him...then he came back. With reckless abandon. He left love letters, flowers on my porch. Even his grandmother's ring. He pleaded with me to meet with him and that he had made a mistake. He wanted to explain his actions, his impulsive decision. I refused; I was with someone else, but also I was wary of the force he had on me. He did this for years. Eventually it cooled. We tried it again three years later and after 6 months, we had a blow up fight where it escalated...I guess it was more me breaking up with him. This was October. I feel your pain. I know I shouldn't, but I am missing him SO badly. He just made me feel more than anyone else ever did. He brought so much warmth. Just remembering our love years later would still give me chills, while I was in another relationship. I don't want to accept that his passion and the warmth I loved doesn't count because he is unhealthy. I have a love/hate relationship with reading about BPD because I learn so much but then I feel hopeless about him and like our time together wasn't real. Does your ex know she has BPD? That would definitely bode better for hope of a reconciliation. Why did you dump her?
Author lostsoul4286 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 Lostsoul, I am wondering the same thing tonight, with a broken heart. I broke up with a (likely) BPD ex years ago. He technically did the dumping although I made it clear I was near my end. He completely detached from me for a few months and I did from him...then he came back. With reckless abandon. He left love letters, flowers on my porch. Even his grandmother's ring. He pleaded with me to meet with him and that he had made a mistake. He wanted to explain his actions, his impulsive decision. I refused; I was with someone else, but also I was wary of the force he had on me. He did this for years. Eventually it cooled. We tried it again three years later and after 6 months, we had a blow up fight where it escalated...I guess it was more me breaking up with him. This was October. I feel your pain. I know I shouldn't, but I am missing him SO badly. He just made me feel more than anyone else ever did. He brought so much warmth. Just remembering our love years later would still give me chills, while I was in another relationship. I don't want to accept that his passion and the warmth I loved doesn't count because he is unhealthy. I have a love/hate relationship with reading about BPD because I learn so much but then I feel hopeless about him and like our time together wasn't real. Does your ex know she has BPD? That would definitely bode better for hope of a reconciliation. Why did you dump her? I dumped her because I was ignorant of the symptoms and didn't know about this website at the time. She doesn't know. I was frustrated at the distances feeling and hot and cold attitudes. She even said she'd never change, that's who she is. And I still compromised, swallowed my pride and told her i can handle it then, let's give it another chance. It's an LDR, chances are, she found someone else.
pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I dumped her because I was ignorant of the symptoms and didn't know about this website at the time. She doesn't know. I was frustrated at the distances feeling and hot and cold attitudes. She even said she'd never change, that's who she is. And I still compromised, swallowed my pride and told her i can handle it then, let's give it another chance. It's an LDR, chances are, she found someone else. BPD or not, relationships are all about compromise, from BOTH sides. Why o earth do you want her back, after writing that?
Am4Real Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Let’s see if I can write this out so you can comprehend what you just wrote and how ridiculous it sounds. If you knew someone had full blown AIDS, a disease that could greatly affect your well-being, would you engage in unprotected sexual activity with them knowing the risk, the effects of the disease on you and perhaps the eventual mortality finale? Probably not! If your EX has been diagnosed by a professional, not you, but a clear professional diagnosis of Border Line Personality Disorder, and you completely understood the condition, the risk and the effects of the condition on your well-being and the eventual likelihood of a fractured relationship and much pain, would you engage with unprotected advancement? Seriously…you would? Com’on, think about this and understand the similarities between the two examples and “think” accordingly. Lostsoul, I am wondering the same thing tonight, with a broken heart. I broke up with a (likely) BPD ex years ago. He technically did the dumping although I made it clear I was near my end. He completely detached from me for a few months and I did from him...then he came back. With reckless abandon. He left love letters, flowers on my porch. Even his grandmother's ring. He pleaded with me to meet with him and that he had made a mistake. He wanted to explain his actions, his impulsive decision. I refused; I was with someone else, but also I was wary of the force he had on me. He did this for years. Eventually it cooled. We tried it again three years later and after 6 months, we had a blow up fight where it escalated...I guess it was more me breaking up with him. This was October. I feel your pain. I know I shouldn't, but I am missing him SO badly. He just made me feel more than anyone else ever did. He brought so much warmth. Just remembering our love years later would still give me chills, while I was in another relationship. I don't want to accept that his passion and the warmth I loved doesn't count because he is unhealthy. I have a love/hate relationship with reading about BPD because I learn so much but then I feel hopeless about him and like our time together wasn't real. Does your ex know she has BPD? That would definitely bode better for hope of a reconciliation. Why did you dump her? 2
Kevin_D Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I'm not sure if this is the case, but it seems that many people on this forum have a problem with the acronyms: BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder These people can love you in the morning, hate you in the afternoon and love you again in the evening. BD = Bipolar Disorder These people have usually (hypo)manic episodes that usually last 1-6 weeks and depression episodes that can last several months.
pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I'm not sure if this is the case, but it seems that many people on this forum have a problem with the acronyms: BPD = Borderline Personality Disorder These people can love you in the morning, hate you in the afternoon and love you again in the evening. BD = Bipolar Disorder These people have usually (hypo)manic episodes that usually last 1-6 weeks and depression episodes that can last several months. I think everyone on here is aware about what the OP is talking about. 1
Kevin_D Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I think everyone on here is aware about what the OP is talking about. Ok, alright! I just thought that this post seemed to describe BD rather than BPD behavior: I broke up with a (likely) BPD ex years ago. He technically did the dumping although I made it clear I was near my end. He completely detached from me for a few months and I did from him...then he came back. With reckless abandon. He left love letters, flowers on my porch. Even his grandmother's ring. He pleaded with me to meet with him and that he had made a mistake. He wanted to explain his actions, his impulsive decision.
maiden555 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Ok, alright! I just thought that this post seemed to describe BD rather than BPD behavior: I know the difference. He had BPD symptoms. No he was not diagnosed by a professional and that is just one reason why I wouldn't compare him to an AIDS patient... If the OP or anyone else wants help with recovering from this specific type of relationship, I've found this helpful. It explains why these breakups can hurt so much deeper than our others. Surviving a Break-up with Someone Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder 1
Am4Real Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 People come on here all the time telling us their EX is BPD, a sociopath, psychotic, suffers from bipolar depression and whatever else they’ve come up with on the internet. Do you think they bothered to actually reference the DSM. Do they even know what the DSM is? Might they even know what the current version is and how it used? Unless you spent the last four to six year studying mental health and treatment therapies how on earth did you come up with your opinion? By reading a link on the internet – oh please?!?! Making comments about the state of someone’s mental health by referencing acute diagnosis descriptives is no different than me looking up your skirt and cross referencing what I see or smell on WEBMD. Posting links for others to grossly misinterpret based on assumptions and personal judgment is equally disturbing. Treat your situation as break up stemming from an incompatible and unreasonable EX and move on to healing rather than overly assuming mental status without sanctioned diagnosis criteria. I know the difference. He had BPD symptoms. No he was not diagnosed by a professional and that is just one reason why I wouldn't compare him to an AIDS patient... If the OP or anyone else wants help with recovering from this specific type of relationship, I've found this helpful. It explains why these breakups can hurt so much deeper than our others. Surviving a Break-up with Someone Suffering with Borderline Personality Disorder 6
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 People come on here all the time telling us their EX is BPD, a sociopath, psychotic, suffers from bipolar depression and whatever else they’ve come up with on the internet. Do you think they bothered to actually reference the DSM. Do they even know what the DSM is? Might they even know what the current version is and how it used? Unless you spent the last four to six year studying mental health and treatment therapies how on earth did you come up with your opinion? By reading a link on the internet – oh please?!?! Making comments about the state of someone’s mental health by referencing acute diagnosis descriptives is no different than me looking up your skirt and cross referencing what I see or smell on WEBMD. Posting links for others to grossly misinterpret based on assumptions and personal judgment is equally disturbing. Treat your situation as break up stemming from an incompatible and unreasonable EX and move on to healing rather than overly assuming mental status without sanctioned diagnosis criteria. THANK YOU! There has been an influx of people trying to justify their ex's with conditions and the reason they broke up. It could be ANYTHING, but it doesnt change the fact they are done. Sad, but true. 1
pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 THANK YOU! There has been an influx of people trying to justify their ex's with conditions and the reason they broke up. It could be ANYTHING, but it doesnt change the fact they are done. Sad, but true. So true. I'm seeing a lot of "your ex might be BPD". Not all exes are BPD. Some people are just jerks. It's like doctors overdiagnosing ADHD. Not all children are ADHD. Sometimes, children are just hyperactive jerks. 3
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