Feeling so empty

[Supergirl_x]

Had a lovely christmas and new year with my family and boyfriend, even thought I didn't get to actually spend with him, we spoke on Skype and calls, and talked to each other's families as if we really were all together in one big room

We've been together nearly two years now and living 5 hours apart is hard but we make it work, usually meeting every couple weeks but in winter with the bad weather it being every month if we can lol

Anyway Hogmanay we argued really bad, and we said some really horrible things to each other which 24 hours later is still making me feel really depressed

At the moment all our relationship seems to be in argue argue argue....

I know he's stressed with starting his new job soon and I am so depressed with being so bored all the time, and trying to find work, I miss college, I miss my best friend that I won't see until summer time now cos she has university..and exams to complete.

I feel so low, bored and depressed, I'm going to be even more depressed next week, when my bf is working all the time and so are all my family.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him with a new job but I hate my life right now, it's not always been like this.... I've only really started hating my life since I became unemployed, most nights I cry myself to sleep, also cause I miss him so much....... I really just don't know what to do as I've never felt like this in my whole life,

[Ninjainpajamas]

Regardless of the situation you are in with your BF, you still need to get your life together. Never let a relationship take precedence over your personal life and happiness...the two are not intertwined and if they become so...guess what happens if your relationship "doesn't work out"? you'll be on here in tears crying about how nothing is going right in your life and now this and the whole sky is falling thing.

 

I know your BF is probably your "world" right now, but plan your life around you...not another person. Get motivated in doing the things you desire to do...for yourself, try harder, or keep trying...think of what more you could do that you have not already done instead of doing the whole "I tried everything, and this and that and the other thing doesn't work cause of this and that reason"...that's just whining, nothing is ever going to get done if you just sulk in your emotions...you've got to find the motivation within yourself, wherever and whatever it is to get yourself moving..otherwise you stop, then you slide backwards and you just further down the hole...and guess what? then you've got to do all this work just to get yourself back out of it...not to mention it doesn't make you the best person to have a relationship with either.

 

Now he's stressed doing his thing, instead of leaning on him further for more emotional support...take responsibility and accountability for yourself and your own happiness, so that when you do see him you are a person who brings positive things to his life instead of your emotional bucket of depressing goo.

 

Now I'm not blaming you or saying you're a bad person or girlfriend for him, don't get all sensitive on me...what I'm saying is be the best person you can be for yourself and in turn that will make you a happier person to be around for him...two people stressed out and working through their own personal issues does not make you this happy couple contrary to what the movies or people tell you...it's not about "overcoming life together" it's about you do what you need to do for you and him doing what he needs to do for him...because one person cannot take the entire load of responsibility and at the least you make it easier for the other person to deal with the load they've already got instead of add to it.

 

So communicate in your relationship if you want things to work out and take responsibility and keep trying, as soon as you give up and start sulking then it's just going to get worse...not better, so fight the feeling to just give up and bury yourself under your blankets, that's not going to make you any happier, I can guarantee you that.

 

Once you get things rolling it gets easier...but that initial push can be incredibly more difficult to make as time goes on, so don't let it stack up against you any further.