RegretBreakup Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) why people think this is cruel and disrespectful?? I cut out my ex gf out of my life and my family and friends doesn't seem to understand that I need to do that for myself and they said that I can be civil with her. We had a good break up and a great relationship but she doesn't want to continue the relationship anymore. It didn't work out because we are long distance or maybe she just fells out of love due to distance. We both said bye properly but my ex wants to keep in touch so I needed to cut her off my life. No social media, no Skype, change number, change address.. I know I might regret this when I'm healed but this is the best thing that I can do for myself. but sometimes It makes me wonder if I did the right thing cutting her off and it makes me feel bad sometimes as she's been great to me in the relationship. It's only been 2 1/2 months since the break up and I am still hurting and I still think about her everyday.. when does it get better guys? Am I immature for doing all of this? Edited January 1, 2014 by RegretBreakup
iworthmore Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 No ur not being immature. Ur doing it the right way from the beginning. Thats good for you. We cant stay in touch with ex's. Their role in our life based on being lovers and intimate partners. Once we break up they cant fill any other role. Especially as friends. After break up they must be dead for us like they never existed. Unless any kids r involved then its a different story. Dont pay attention to what every body says about the NC. U do what best for u and seems ur in the right way. It takes time to get over and heal. Each one is different but u must have ur time. Its not linear process Dont count days just live and focus on urself Hope u get better. 1
Haydn Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 You did all the right things. 2 months is not a long time really. Keep going and it will get better. Like you may have read, there is no time limit but you will get through this. Keep posting. ON the right track. why people think this is cruel and disrespectful?? I cut out my ex gf out of my life and my family and friends doesn't seem to understand that I need to do that for myself and they said that I can be civil with her. We had a good break up and a great relationship but she doesn't want to continue the relationship anymore. It didn't work out because we are long distance or maybe she just fells out of love due to distance. We both said bye properly but my ex wants to keep in touch so I needed to cut her off my life. No social media, no Skype, change number, change address.. I know I might regret this when I'm healed but this is the best thing that I can do for myself. but sometimes It makes me wonder if I did the right thing cutting her off and it makes me feel bad sometimes as she's been great to me in the relationship. It's only been 2 1/2 months since the break up and I am still hurting and I still think about her everyday.. when does it get better guys? Am I immature for doing all of this?
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Ignore those that condemn this action. Letting go an ex is like quitting smoking - you can't just have a little exposure to them, because before you know it, you're back to a full-fledged addiction. They like to tell themselves how 'mature' they are by being able to be friends. What they won't tell you, is that for the vast majority of these scenarios, the friendship lasts long enough for one party to meet someone else. Then it's all over, red rover. Cut the exes out. There are plenty more options and plenty more fish in the sea. It's no great loss. Potential friends and lovers are a dime a dozen. 5
headinthecloud Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 The wounds are still healing, most feel better after 4-6mos, but it depends on you and how much work you do on yourself. Right now you are all that matters, ignore everyone's advice and choose to do what's best or you (only you know this). Stay NC and heal. In another 2.5 mos if you feel some indifference then reach out to the ex, but don't worry about her feelings right now. The best thing you can do for her is stay NC and let her heal.
darkmoon Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 exes who are friends? seen on Loveshack, most have an iron will, insisting that clinging on is their right, nope, get a new girlfriend, a proper one, sorry, but some self-righteous clinging vine ex in the picture would have me running for the door 4
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 exes who are friends? seen on Loveshack, most have an iron will, insisting that clinging on is their right, nope, get a new girlfriend, a proper one, sorry, but some self-righteous clinging vine ex in the picture would have me running for the door Word. (10charac)
chris21422 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Dont worry about other people telling you this telling you that. The only thing that matters is the one that can make you feel better.. Your ex chose a life without you in it. So you dont owe her anything if you cut her out of your life..
chinacat sunflower Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 why people think this is cruel and disrespectful?? I cut out my ex gf out of my life and my family and friends doesn't seem to understand that I need to do that for myself and they said that I can be civil with her. We had a good break up and a great relationship but she doesn't want to continue the relationship anymore. It didn't work out because we are long distance or maybe she just fells out of love due to distance. We both said bye properly but my ex wants to keep in touch so I needed to cut her off my life. No social media, no Skype, change number, change address.. I know I might regret this when I'm healed but this is the best thing that I can do for myself. but sometimes It makes me wonder if I did the right thing cutting her off and it makes me feel bad sometimes as she's been great to me in the relationship. It's only been 2 1/2 months since the break up and I am still hurting and I still think about her everyday.. when does it get better guys? Am I immature for doing all of this? Well…..my ex cut me off. Deleted my number, removed me from Facebook etc. Now I believe he has no clue who I am anymore. So, you are doing the right thing. Good luck.
iouaname Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I think cutting them out of your life IS civil. I think trying to maintain a friendship with an ex just results in things becoming more and more negative between the two of you. Moving forward with your life and allowing her to do the same is quite civil, in my opinion.
D-Lish Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 You have to be selfish and do what's best for you. Cutting off contact is the best way to get over someone. Don't listen to what other people say about being cordial- you can't successfully be friends with someone until you're 100% over them.
Trick1004 Posted January 3, 2014 Posted January 3, 2014 I personally don’t understand how people can remain friends with an ex. My ex asked me several times over the 3 or so years we were together if we were to break up if we could still remain friends. I told her no, if for some reason we broke up, you essentially become dead to me. She would reply this will be different if we break up. The day she ended it some 7 months ago, she hoped we could stay friends because she couldn’t imagine not ever seeing me again. I told her this is the last time you will ever see me in person. She didn’t believe it, but that night I started taking the steps to cut her out of my life. I have plenty of friends that don’t throw me away like a piece of trash. I don’t want to be friends with her and certainly don’t want to know what she’s up to. F that. Cutting all ties with her was the best thing I did for myself. I don’t care what she thinks. She pulled the plug and she’ll have to deal with what she discarded on her own. Don't worry about it, you're doing whats best for you. Trick
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