pickflicker Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 last time we spoke, she told me she's in pain still, depressed and all that. Sucks to be her. Not your problem.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 last time we spoke, she told me she's in pain still, depressed and all that. Doesnt matter what she says. All ex's (a large majority of them) say numerous things like that after breakups and they dont mean s***. Most want to look like victims rather than dumpers. If she wanted to be with you, she would. Dont do anything. Move forward. 1
Allumere Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I always find this to be a hard call. Maybe cause I am a letter writer. With that said, it depends on the intent. Writing the letter is closure for YOU. If you can do it without expectation then fine but if you expect an answer or would be shocked if some less then pleasant response came your way then I would not advise. That relationship is dead. She is with someone else.
Kilty Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 She is with someone else. Which is why it should never be considered
Allumere Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Which is why it should never be considered Don't agree. Again, it depends on the intent. If he is doing it for himself, for closure then it is his call. I have written letters and for me it was always a great release. Now these weren't FU letters or I'm dying without you letters. They were just statements of how I felt about everything, good bad and ugly. I never ask questions (as that would imply I was looking for a response) and I accepted the decision to end things although didn't like it. If I felt it in my heart to wish them well I did, if not I didn't.
Mondmellonw Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Don't agree. Again, it depends on the intent. If he is doing it for himself, for closure then it is his call. I have written letters and for me it was always a great release. Now these weren't FU letters or I'm dying without you letters. They were just statements of how I felt about everything, good bad and ugly. I never ask questions (as that would imply I was looking for a response) and I accepted the decision to end things although didn't like it. If I felt it in my heart to wish them well I did, if not I didn't. I also did this, but ended up expecting an answer. I didn't know how to keep me apart from the feeling of "WTH happened here".
HeartinPain Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Do NOT send it! You will regret it! You wrote it clouded with emotions. You should wait at least a month and see if you still want to send it. I am sure you will have changed your mind by then. You will never get the closure you need to your satisfaction. The letter will not give you the answer you need for the closure you seek. I wrote a emotional letter and gave it to my ex who left me for someone else as a last resort to attempt to get him back. It was my biggest regret and I wish someone had stopped me for doing it. DO NOT SEND IT! 2
veggirl Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 does it seem like I'm psycho? I'm driving myself insane with overthinking, all I want is for her to say, "yes I left you for him." then I'll be at ease. No, you WON'T be at ease if you get an answer. You'll have more questions. Closure comes with TIME! How long has it been?
SurplusIndifference Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Closure comes with TIME! How long has it been? Closure comes from acceptance, not time. There are plenty of people on this site who have been suffering for years without closure. 1
SurplusIndifference Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Don't agree. Again, it depends on the intent. If he is doing it for himself, for closure then it is his call. I have written letters and for me it was always a great release. If you are doing it for you, then write it without sending it. If you want them to read it, you want them to do something. You are looking for a response from them. You might not be looking for a reply to your message, but you want a response (them feeling guilt, remorse, etc).
Author Crazy Crab Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 ok, i won't send that letter. but what if i send a letter, for my final words to her, not expecting a response. would that be alright??
chris21422 Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 No Dude! No final words, No need for that.. Just walk away now.. Trust me been in your shoes before.. I sent the ex a letter didn't made any difference. so just don't do it. Don't do same mistakes I did. ok, i won't send that letter. but what if i send a letter, for my final words to her, not expecting a response. would that be alright??
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 ok, i won't send that letter. but what if i send a letter, for my final words to her, not expecting a response. would that be alright?? http://24.media.tumblr.com/1426c2b97fb8d03a6ca4903624932da5/tumblr_mupbpdKllB1sphl01o1_250.gif 1
Author Crazy Crab Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 http://24.media.tumblr.com/7fdbb6b2f740288463a748111d8e315b/tumblr_mnvv3xFmCG1s8ppr2o1_500.gif 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 http://24.media.tumblr.com/7fdbb6b2f740288463a748111d8e315b/tumblr_mnvv3xFmCG1s8ppr2o1_500.gif HAHAHA fantastic rebuttle. It gets easier man. Just keep moving forward. A letter or note will only make you look bad.
Author Crazy Crab Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 HAHAHA fantastic rebuttle. It gets easier man. Just keep moving forward. A letter or note will only make you look bad. alright, i'll take your guys' word for it, as hard as it is to go NC, i suppose its for the best. 1
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 alright, i'll take your guys' word for it, as hard as it is to go NC, i suppose its for the best. Its hard to follow advice on here especially when your heart is telling you something completely different. I've been there. I was like "Well, they dont really know her like I do" or "I KNOW this will be better if I do this" or something along those lines. I questioned everyone, try to reason with myself....in the end, everyone was 1000% right. If I listened when it first happened, I wouldnt have taken so long to recover and heal. Its not easy. But it is what needs to be done. 2
SurplusIndifference Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 ok, i won't send that letter. But what if i send a letter, for my final words to her, not expecting a response. Would that be alright?? You are expecting a response. Stop lying to yourself.
SurplusIndifference Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I was like "Well, they dont really know her like I do" or "I KNOW this will be better if I do this" As different as your story is from everyone else's, it's also not different.
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) As different as your story is from everyone else's, it's also not different. Never said it wasnt cool guy. I was telling him thats how it was back in the day. Read the post Edited January 2, 2014 by ConfusedHumanBeing
LadyM Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I think the true reason you want to write to her is the deep down hope that when she hears from you, whether or not she is with this other guy, that she will realize that she loves you and wants to be with you. You already pretty much know she is with another guy. You pretty much know she doesn't want to be with you. And you're not looking for just any response. You are seeking but ONE response and that is for her to want to come back to you. That is the real reason you want to contact her. There is no closure to be had from her with any other response. Things are already closed. Any response other than her return to you will be shattering.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 ok, i won't send that letter. but what if i send a letter, for my final words to her, not expecting a response. would that be alright?? 3
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 HAHAHAHA. I'm trying to battle with you to see who comes up with the funniest stuff on here. You're winning by a large amount. But yes OP....I think you get it now. 3
Simon Phoenix Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 HAHAHAHA. I'm trying to battle with you to see who comes up with the funniest stuff on here. You're winning by a large amount. But yes OP....I think you get it now.
Allumere Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 If you are doing it for you, then write it without sending it. If you want them to read it, you want them to do something. You are looking for a response from them. You might not be looking for a reply to your message, but you want a response (them feeling guilt, remorse, etc). Nope. Want nothing as it was done for me. I couldn't tell you if they ever received, read, deleted or what. I have also been in the position of forgiving someone using a letter. Again, it was something I did for me. Don't know if ever received, read, deleted....don't care. Once I hit send or drop in mail, its done.
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