JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I'm at 8 months post BU of a 4.5 year relationship. I left her first then, then tried to claim what I thought was still mine but she had decided the relationship was over and did a disappearing act on me. I spoke to her over the phone roughly 8 months ago and that was the end of her. I never heard from her at all, zero, nada, best disappearing act I've ever witness. Month 7 was probably my best month. I honestly thought I was cured, the pain lifted, no more thoughts, I was focused on what actually mattered. However, lately I've been feeling extremely anxious, thoughts flood my mind as they used to in the past. I find myself trying to make sense of what occurred but don't spend more than a few second on pondering the thought but as you know even those few seconds can be excruciating. I'm not certain if having time off work due to the holidays in addition to the holidays itself are what lead to me feeling like I'm almost back to square one. Additionally, a few weeks ago I had an MRI done to both my knees which show fractures. Surprisingly, I'm able to walk "ok" but the doctor stated that I should not bare any weight on them which ultimately leave me couch bound doing absolutely nothing but to watch TV or go online. I go back to work on the 8th so I'm sure all next week will be filled with absolutely nothing leaving my mind to wonder. I just want to get through this rough patch. I want my knees to heal, go back to work and school and feel productive again. Of course that's exactly what I said last semester while I was in school which lead me utterly overwhelmed and wanted the semester to end. I guess I just need to find a healthy balance and learn to pace myself. I feel anxiety creeping up leaving with uncertainty and concern about my future. I just needed to vent and see what you guys thought. I need to get through this, this is just the beginning.
Mariposa10 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I'm curious about something. Did you two ever talk about marriage or having children? Every time I read your posts I never read anything about marriage talks etc. Not that it matters, I'm just curious. Another thing, did you two have mutual friends? I was with my ex for that long, and we don't have mutual friends which is good. I think your problems have to do with the holidays and the fact you can't exercise. I feel like soon you'll be cured. Maybe a couple of more months? 2
headinthecloud Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 JD, you're letting your mind spin because you're injured which wreaks havoc on the mind because you lost some independence. Meditation might be a good practice for you. It helps balance the mind and body. You're circumstances are causing this relapse so don't give in - focus on healing your body. Distract your mind with something you love. Live in the now, not the past. This will pass, dont lay down...fight! 1
Author JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 I'm curious about something. Did you two ever talk about marriage or having children? Every time I read your posts I never read anything about marriage talks etc. Not that it matters, I'm just curious. Another thing, did you two have mutual friends? I was with my ex for that long, and we don't have mutual friends which is good. I think your problems have to do with the holidays and the fact you can't exercise. I feel like soon you'll be cured. Maybe a couple of more months? No mutual friends and I quiet honestly feel that works in our favor, otherwise I would hear/know about her. I hope I heal soon, this really sucks.
Author JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 JD, you're letting your mind spin because you're injured which wreaks havoc on the mind because you lost some independence. Meditation might be a good practice for you. It helps balance the mind and body. You're circumstances are causing this relapse so don't give in - focus on healing your body. Distract your mind with something you love. Live in the now, not the past. This will pass, dont lay down...fight! I quiet honestly believe this is the root of me feeling depressed and anxious all over again, this has been going for about a month. I injured myself then, but didn't think it wasn't anything of substance. A week or so later I decided to have an MRI done and that's when the Doctor decided to expedite my appointment as he saw fractures on MRIs. I was told just a few days before xmas which clearly exacerbated it all. I have not been going to the gym since. I've been off work and school because of the holidays so I've been essentially idling. The Dr. stated that I should just stay off my knees for these injuries to heal (easier said than done buddy). I've been sitting in my garage watching UFC since 9am this morning so that would make it what? close to 8 hours doing absolutely nothing. But I also understand that if I continue to bear weight on it that I'll never heal properly. I feel so anxious, I went from working out everyday to doing absolutely nothing. I feel like I just want to let it all out on a punching bag but then again I might injure myself further of course.
Still-I-Rise Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Sorry to hear you are depressed. It sucks. Do you play video or online games that would allow you to interact with others whilst having fun or mentally switching gears? I'm bad at chess but I've played online in the past. There is also Texas hold'em games that might be fun. Whatever you do, take care of yourself and schedule breaks from ruminating about the breakup. 1
headinthecloud Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I quiet honestly believe this is the root of me feeling depressed and anxious all over again, this has been going for about a month. I injured myself then, but didn't think it wasn't anything of substance. A week or so later I decided to have an MRI done and that's when the Doctor decided to expedite my appointment as he saw fractures on MRIs. I was told just a few days before xmas which clearly exacerbated it all. I have not been going to the gym since. I've been off work and school because of the holidays so I've been essentially idling. The Dr. stated that I should just stay off my knees for these injuries to heal (easier said than done buddy). I've been sitting in my garage watching UFC since 9am this morning so that would make it what? close to 8 hours doing absolutely nothing. But I also understand that if I continue to bear weight on it that I'll never heal properly. I feel so anxious, I went from working out everyday to doing absolutely nothing. I feel like I just want to let it all out on a punching bag but then again I might injure myself further of course. Try Wii Sports - gets the arms moving which is better than nothing. You could also rent a wheelchair for a week and see if that helps with your mobility. I had knee surgery a few years ago and when the doctor gave me the bad news (per-surgery) I became totally depressed. Fight it though. Now that you know what's causing your mind to spin you can stop it. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Read "Tuesdays with Morley" by Mitch Albom, it's a great read and hopefully it'll inspire you too since its based on a true story. 2
headinthecloud Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Sorry to hear you are depressed. It sucks. Do you play video or online games that would allow you to interact with others whilst having fun or mentally switching gears? I'm bad at chess but I've played online in the past. There is also Texas hold'em games that might be fun. Whatever you do, take care of yourself and schedule breaks from ruminating about the breakup. NEVER play poker when you're bored or depressed...I learned the hard way! 1
Author JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Thank you guys for your replies. I've been sitting here all day thinking about the future, work and school and my current mental state and how I'm going to juggle everything. But you are absolutely right, I can't continue to feel sorry for myself, I never was the type and certainly won't start now. Still I Rise: Sadly, I've never been into games. I recall when I was in HS and my brother bought me a PS2 as a birthday present and when I unwrapped the box I said to myself "wth am I supposed to do with this???" lol but I do like playing chess so I might look for a few online buddies to pair up with. Headincloud: that book sounds like a good ready, sounds like it will knock some sense into me and show me the endless things I should be grateful for rather than ruminating over the past and wishing for a different past. I never learn how to play poker but what's wrong with playing with depressed? lol
headinthecloud Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I never learn how to play poker but what's wrong with playing with depressed? lol if you lose it makes you more depressed!! And since you're already depressed theres a much higher chance that you will lose. So unless you've got a horseshoe where the sun don't shine, I'd stay away from the tables at all costs. 1
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