Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Hi there, I'm new here, I'll share you my story. So, here I go. She broke up with me cause we were having a lot of problems, almost one argument per month. I kinda lied to her, and she was getting very insecure and unhappy. It was my fault to lie to her. I had contact with my ex, well, I stalked her, and my girlfriend noticed this. I gotta admit this was out of line because i ****ing hated my ex, she cheated on me, we were always on parties and she was damn close to my friends (other males, of course). I told my girlfriend all of this so that she could trust me i didn't had feelings about my ex, maybe just a little hate. But she found out I was stalking, idk how, she discovered I wasn't really that over the cheating thing. I trusted my girlfriend a lot. She is one of those girls you won't find out that easy these days. She is leal, she is smart, maybe a little insecure and quiet, but the insecurities were all about the lies. She got obsessed, but I failed her trust. We both wanted to stay together but one day out of the blue she broke up with me. I felt offended and told her how obsessive she had become, i basically blamed all on her. I've been telling myself i don't need her, i don't love her, i don't miss her. I've been dating other girls, found them attractive but not interesting enough, its more a superficial thing. I mean, she broke up with me and I'm not the kind of guy to try to convince a woman about my love, begging is for losers.I've been getting drunk a lot, and partying hard, having fun. But then I'm sober and I feel like a pig. Last nite she sended me a mssg. Said she wanted to talk to me. She said she knew she was the dumper, so even when I'm the guy, she had to contact me first if she wanted to apologize or to talk through what happened... I want to, cause she accepts she had insecurities, but Idk. I'm dating, and I also got the feeling that I don't want something serious for a while, but I love her. I guess I need to party more and forget about her. She was the only girl that ever made me feel loved for who I was, Give me some advice on this, please.
David87 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Hi there, I'm new here, I'll share you my story. So, here I go. She broke up with me cause we were having a lot of problems, almost one argument per month. I kinda lied to her, and she was getting very insecure and unhappy. It was my fault to lie to her. I had contact with my ex, well, I stalked her, and my girlfriend noticed this. I gotta admit this was out of line because i ****ing hated my ex, she cheated on me, we were always on parties and she was damn close to my friends (other males, of course). I told my girlfriend all of this so that she could trust me i didn't had feelings about my ex, maybe just a little hate. But she found out I was stalking, idk how, she discovered I wasn't really that over the cheating thing. I trusted my girlfriend a lot. She is one of those girls you won't find out that easy these days. She is leal, she is smart, maybe a little insecure and quiet, but the insecurities were all about the lies. She got obsessed, but I failed her trust. We both wanted to stay together but one day out of the blue she broke up with me. I felt offended and told her how obsessive she had become, i basically blamed all on her. I've been telling myself i don't need her, i don't love her, i don't miss her. I've been dating other girls, found them attractive but not interesting enough, its more a superficial thing. I mean, she broke up with me and I'm not the kind of guy to try to convince a woman about my love, begging is for losers.I've been getting drunk a lot, and partying hard, having fun. But then I'm sober and I feel like a pig. Last nite she sended me a mssg. Said she wanted to talk to me. She said she knew she was the dumper, so even when I'm the guy, she had to contact me first if she wanted to apologize or to talk through what happened... I want to, cause she accepts she had insecurities, but Idk. I'm dating, and I also got the feeling that I don't want something serious for a while, but I love her. I guess I need to party more and forget about her. She was the only girl that ever made me feel loved for who I was, Give me some advice on this, please. You should apologize to her and then leave her alone because as you said you don't want a relationship.
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 You should apologize to her and then leave her alone because as you said you don't want a relationship. But I think that would be useless. I feel like she really loves me, I just am not sure if I can give her what she deserves anymore. I lied to her about my drinking habits too. She doesn't really likes drinking, she is more of the decent-type of girl, she is really sexy but she is, well, she means commitment, she means change. She means I need to focus on the things I need to change about myself, I'm not sure if I can learn to love myself at this point. I got a feel about her being the one, like i want her to wait, but this is selfish. My gut feeling tells me she is hurt and I feel nervous about just saying sorry.
David87 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 But I think that would be useless. I feel like she really loves me, I just am not sure if I can give her what she deserves anymore. I lied to her about my drinking habits too. She doesn't really likes drinking, she is more of the decent-type of girl, she is really sexy but she is, well, she means commitment, she means change. She means I need to focus on the things I need to change about myself, I'm not sure if I can learn to love myself at this point. I got a feel about her being the one, like i want her to wait, but this is selfish. My gut feeling tells me she is hurt and I feel nervous about just saying sorry. That's my advice, if I were you I'd send a text to her and apologize for all the suffering I caused her and then just let her go. 1
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 That's my advice, if I were you I'd send a text to her and apologize for all the suffering I caused her and then just let her go. Just a text?
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Wouldn't that be just like she meant nothing? Or that i am a coward?
David87 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Wouldn't that be just like she meant nothing? Or that i am a coward? On the contrary it will show her that you are mature enough to admit that you made her suffer and that you are really sorry. 1
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 On the contrary it will show her that you are mature enough to admit that you made her suffer and that you are really sorry. I get it, but she wants it more personal. She wants to at least have a conversation on the phone. She has requested me to meet. She deserves the apologize for sure, but I don't want to make her or myself suffer the pain to know we can't really go back
headinthecloud Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 You lied to her and stalked your ex while you were together. That's dishonest, deceitful and cowardly. She had no choice to BU with you because you behaved like an arse. I would definitely apologize and then tell her that you won't contact her again - text or email should be fine since you're BU. I wouldn't meet in person, wounds are too fresh. You both need time to heal. I hope you learn from this or you will hurt someone else in the future, most likely more yourself than anyone else. Try to make better choices in the future and start 2014 off right. Happy New Year. 1
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 There's definitely no way she is ever gonna feel good about what we had with this, right?. I'll text her, thank you.
Author Drspell12 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 And tell her to take a walk. Take a walk why?
Apparition Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I stopped reading your post after you mentioned you were stalking your ex and didn't have feelings for her except hate. Hate is a feeling, so therefore you did in fact have feelings for your ex, but I don't really buy that. People do not stalk people unless they're: 1) Interested in them, so they try and impress them by finding out everything about them and what they like. 2) Still not over them after a break-up. 3) Plotting to kill them or ruin their life. Which one do you fall into really? I think you should leave this girl alone and let her find someone who won't lie to her and stalk their ex girlfriend. 1
Author Drspell12 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 I stopped reading your post after you mentioned you were stalking your ex and didn't have feelings for her except hate. Hate is a feeling, so therefore you did in fact have feelings for your ex, but I don't really buy that. People do not stalk people unless they're: 1) Interested in them, so they try and impress them by finding out everything about them and what they like. 2) Still not over them after a break-up. 3) Plotting to kill them or ruin their life. Which one do you fall into really? I think you should leave this girl alone and let her find someone who won't lie to her and stalk their ex girlfriend. Is it really that bad to stalk your ex while having a relationship? It's just social media. But, to be honest, I was curious. She tried to contact me a lot and even went to places we used to go together, so I wanted her to **** off. And so I told her. But I didn't told my girl about it. Then she found out... And never told me until she broke up with me.
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