allen10981 Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 Hey Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 months and she recently sat me down and talked to me about something she had given oral sex before, but very briefly, probably not even the equivalency of a full BJ in her words. recently she said she wants to do me from start to finish because shes never finished anyone off, and never tried a start to finish one but wants to do it Heres the problem she gets lockjaw after like 1 minute, and gags if she goes any further down than the head. This makes her incredibly frustrated, and she cries and feels worthless cuz i can finish her off no problem. I try to comfort her and tell her its ok and she doesnt have to, but she gets mad and is like "I want to do it without you having to push it out, and me gagging all the time". Any advice here? She feels like **** and nothing i say can help.
iceisles Posted January 7, 2005 Posted January 7, 2005 This question is probably better suited for the sexual practices board, but I will try to help you. I can certainly understand your girlfriend wanting to feel like she can pleasure you any way you like. I'm sure she is very frustrated with herself because she has never finished anyone off giving them a BJ, etc. The fact that she doesn't feel she can get you off that way has almost certainly dented her confidence some, so obviously your priority has to be on making her understand that she doesn't have to go down on you if she's not comfortable with it. I know she wants to, but sometimes people will never be quite comfortable with certain things no matter how hard they try. The fact that she gets lockjaw is certainly hindering her ability to completely get you off. If the lockjaw is something that is a constant problem, the best you probably could do is have her get you "close" by other methods, and then she can finish you off by giving you an abbreviated BJ. The "gagging" is probably more due to the fact that she hasn't done it much, because I have heard a lot of girls say they did that the first few times they gave oral sex. You are comforting her, and that's all you can do right now. I would suggest that she do other things to you that won't place such anxiety on her. She may always want to please you through the BJ route, and if she continues to insist, just make her realize that you totally understand her situation and that she can slowly try and become better at it. I would highly recommend posting this on the sexual practices board, as you will probably get more specific advice. I hope this helps some, though. Good luck.
Author allen10981 Posted January 7, 2005 Author Posted January 7, 2005 Thank you for your help, she never finished anyone cuz she didnt want to as she tells me. She wants to try that with me, because she sais she loves me more than shes ever loved anyone, and feels willing to try and do that, and it kills me to watch her go crazy over it, its not the end of the world. I guess your right all i can do is help encourage. thanks
Groovy Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 I assume she has TMJ. A specialist can treat that with a retainer at night or even basic exercises she may find in a book at half.com under "TMJ" or something, avoiding gum, etc. I used to have it bad myself but it's improved through both things and saved me from surgery. Nothing she can do will allow her mouth to open more because she wants it to, The joint that opens the jaw has a mechanical problem. Gagging...some people have sensitive reflexes and some don't. And if nothing gets better, there's plenty of ways to have an orgasm.
RowanRavyn Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 Have her spray the back of her throat with a throat spray. It will numb her throat and deaden her gag reflex somewhat. There are also creams and sprays made especially for that. Also, she could try lapping at your penis while she masturbates you manually. Only taking you in her mouth every few strokes.
FairyTail Posted January 8, 2005 Posted January 8, 2005 This may sound a little deceptive, but perhaps a little trickery is in order. Going on the idea that if she does it successfully once, her mind set will change and her confidence will lift, I think maybe you should do something to help her out. Maybe, you could say you have to "Go to the bathroom" and masterbate until you're close to orgasm, then have her perform oral sex, therefore increasing your chances of orgasming when she does it. Perhaps one success will help her do it in the future. Another method you could try is tell her where your biggest pleasure spots are -- everybody is different, so we don't always know what other people like. Tell her exactly how you want it done. And besides, upon discussing this situation with my roommate, we both agree that one does not usually need to put the entire penis in one's mouth in order for it to work. Gagging may have nothing to do with it. I hope this helps.
Author allen10981 Posted January 12, 2005 Author Posted January 12, 2005 Thank you for all the advice She seems to be getting a little better at it, not gagging as much, and has gone down a little farther now. Maybe she just needed some practice. She doesnt bite me anymore either, so thats a definate plus. I appreciate everyones input, thanks again!
VirginiaBob Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 Have her come over to my house and I'll teach her how it's done properly. She can use me a learning tool.
tanbark813 Posted January 12, 2005 Posted January 12, 2005 You didn't mention one way or another if she's doing this, but if not, have her also use her hand in coordination with her mouth. It sounds like she's under the impression she has to go as deep as possible. While deep is good, it won't really matter if she can use her hand properly.
moimeme Posted January 13, 2005 Posted January 13, 2005 Sounds like she's trying to deep throat you. Not everybody can manage that and it's unnecessary anyway. Absolutely tell her to use her hand in conjunction with her mouth. That will help with the lockjaw, too.
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