chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 We've been together 2 1/2 years and it seems more and more of his friends are getting engaged and married. Yesterday someone popped the question and it was so sweet. People joke and ask "You guys are next!" or "When is it your turn?" then my bf would say things like "Huh? I don't know what you're talking about" or "Pshhh whatever" or say "How about you and your girlfriend??" It kind of hurts my feelings that he says things like that instead of "One day." or "Not yet." I was thinking of asking him "Is the idea of marrying me really that bad?" It sounds like it's that time to talk to see if I'm wasting my time with someone who can't see a future with me one day. I remember his friend started crying during the wedding when he was getting married (LOL) while blubbering his vowels. It was really funny but my bf said "I'd cry too if I got married too...maybe not like him though!"
Keenly Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Maybe he is just sick and tired of being pressured into something he wants to do at his own pace by his friends and probably you. " all of his friends are getting engaged " is an absolutely awful reason to propose. Be patient. If he loves you it will come. Its his decision , not yours.
Treasa Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Be patient. If he loves you it will come. Its his decision , not yours. Yes, it's his decision if he wants to marry you or not. And it's your decision to make if you want to wait and hope, or move on to someone who at least doesn't say stuff like this. Go ahead and have a talk with him about it. After 2 1/2 years I think you have a right to know. If getting married is important to you (it's not to me, but I'm not typical), then you should find out his intentions.
Author chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Yeah, I don't want him to jump on the bandwagon just because everyone's getting married. But do you think with phrases like that it means he doesn't see a future with me or that he's no way near ready?
Keenly Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Yes, it's his decision if he wants to marry you or not. And it's your decision to make if you want to wait and hope, or move on to someone who at least doesn't say stuff like this. Go ahead and have a talk with him about it. After 2 1/2 years I think you have a right to know. If getting married is important to you (it's not to me, but I'm not typical), then you should find out his intentions. Absolutely. Just make sure when you talk to him you understand the difference between asking him about it , and begging / nagging / demanding that you get married.
Author chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Yeah, definitely don't want to give the impression I'm demanding marriage or have it SOON. This is new for me and an uncomfortable subject...even with my last ex.
deathandtaxes Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I was thinking of asking him "Is the idea of marrying me really that bad?" It sounds like it's that time to talk to see if I'm wasting my time with someone who can't see a future with me one day. That is not a good question to ask. It's weak sauce. You will come off as very insecure. The better route will be to have a genuine discussion on the state of your relationship and where you BOTH see it going.
FitChick Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 How old are you both? Do you live together? Do both of you want to have kids someday?
Author chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) He is 24 next week, I'll be 25. We talked about kids before and said no more than 3 would be good lol. 2.5 kids if that makes sense! Two is good but no more than 3 basically. I practically live with him...not necessarily. I stay there 6 days a week. He lives with his two older sisters and they pay the mortgage and bills on the house. It's in their mom's name but she got married and moved out so they take care of it. Edited January 1, 2014 by chelle21689
Author chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 so if how I go about it would suck, let me know what YOU think would be the best way. I don't know about flat out randomly asking "Would you marry me one day?" lol
Treasa Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 What does HE pay for? I wouldn't want to marry a guy who is taken care of by his two sisters. It sounds like he's not mature enough yet to even think about marriage. You should evaluate if he's even the guy you really want. Can/do you live on your own?
Eggplant Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 People joke and ask "You guys are next!" or "When is it your turn?" People and their stupid "jokes" are idiots.
Author chelle21689 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 What does HE pay for? I wouldn't want to marry a guy who is taken care of by his two sisters. It sounds like he's not mature enough yet to even think about marriage. You should evaluate if he's even the guy you really want. Can/do you live on your own? Where do you get the idea that he is taken care by his sisters?? He pays the mortgage of the house and his mother pays the other half. They split bills on electric and all that. One sister takes care water bills the other electric and phone. The house is in his moms name but she got married and doesn't I can't afford I live on my own but I will once I start my new job Monday. It will be my first real career job
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I don't think this should be a concern for you right now. You are both very young and I would just see it as him not being ready. Both of you should only be concerned with getting your individual lives on track, and just enjoying the time you spend together. You have plenty of time to think about marriage and kids.
Recommended Posts