sickoflove11 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 So of course today is New Years and I've reached an all time low at 4am. Not drunk anymore and realizing how this time of year all used to be with him but now he's moved on and i'm having the worst time. I spent it with our old friends because those are the only ones I have and they are MY friends too. I tried to enjoy myself and I think I did but of course his name comes up and my emotions just come flooding out. Him and I are on good terms but I wish I could just hate him so much for doing something so wrong, maybe that would make it easier. I don't know. I will not contact him though no matter what. Even though these first 4 hours haven't been the fresh start I was looking for, maybe it's just a stepping stone. I wish I could stop crying and wasting my time thinking about someone who has no interest in me. I hope everyone had a great New Year.
Conners Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Alcohol does that to you, it's a depressant. I felt the same way as you did at 4am. Had a great night and then woke up sober and feeling down. New year = fresh start! Keep your head up x
polynomial Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Yesterday was seriously the worst night ever. youre not alone with this feeling. 1
margot13 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Well I did something, I have never done in my life. I went to sleep at 11.00 and woke up this morning glad that I had missed it. Just decided at the last minute that I didn't feel like putting a happy face on for other people. Suprisingly I feel great that I didn't. Happy New Year everyone. 2014 will be fantastic....... 4
Author sickoflove11 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Well I did something, I have never done in my life. I went to sleep at 11.00 and woke up this morning glad that I had missed it. Just decided at the last minute that I didn't feel like putting a happy face on for other people. Suprisingly I feel great that I didn't. Happy New Year everyone. 2014 will be fantastic....... Good for you. Probably the best choice, that's what I initially planned on doing. Last minute got invited to our old friends place. It was just highs and lows all night, checked up on instagram, bad choice of course. My exs friend has this girlfriend and I hate it, but I'm just insanely jealous of her. Not sure if its the fact that they're still together and we aren't.. or that she gets to spend more time with my ex than I do now.. Anyways she posts pictures all the time and I gets to me more than I'd like. Needless to say instagram was finally deleted last night. Hope it helps.
Author sickoflove11 Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 I just went to go walk my dog to try and stay off social media. My ex and I live in the same stupid neighborhood and are both home for the holidays. I walk up the road (his house is way at the top of the hill so I wasn't going to go that far) and not even 3 minutes I see his best friends car drive past me.. I look away and once it was past I looked back and there goes my exs car right behind him! No idea if they saw me, I did not want to look at them. I've been trying to get back on track with NC after going on Facebook today.. I thought Facebook set me back with NC but after that walk I feel like complete crap. Seeing him going out with his friends (I don't have any friends in this town, my only friend lives out of state) and usually he'd have texted that he saw me or something.. we are on good terms but I'm starting to think he's finally going NC, since I haven't made first contact in awhile. I'm sure its a good sign I haven't heard from him in a few days but its unusually long for us both being in town.. I can't wait to leave
Xemyd Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Hang in there, you'll be fine. I was having a terrible time yesterday, just couldn't stop panicking and crying over my ex, but today, I feel great, like nothing's wrong. You'll have bad days, but they do eventually end.
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