blue963 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here?
Speakingofwhich Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? If I had a good husband I probably would have been snuggly and smuggly carving zzzz's by 11 PM, Dec 31. But, that's just me!
GreySkyMorning Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? Yeah, don't read too much into it. Last New Years, my xmm was sitting in the same room as his W at midnight, texting me that he loved me and we would be together this New Years. Well, this New Years, he's still sitting with her. 3
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? Tonight my H and I hung out at home. We've been entertaining and having guests in and out of our house since before Christmas (power outages so we had people staying here), so we were too exhausted to go out. Had a nice dinner, then he dozed off in front of the TV, I was on here a bit and on facebook. Texted with some friends, my nieces, nephews, and had a few phone calls as well. You have no idea if she was close by. Maybe she was ill or maybe they were watching a movie and he was on the computer or playing with his phone. If she doesn't suspect anything, why would it be odd that he texted someone or emailed someone (aka you).. Remember too, their marriage may be fine, but HE is the one who is broken inside. His skillful lies and how he 'is' at home is telling, so if she isn't suspicious, he's hiding the A very well and acting like all is normal. 2
irresolute Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I have a good husband but I was off to bed at 11 pm. Plus I wanted to text my other guy to wish him happy new year but I didn't. I think you're reading too much into it. He's probably missing you though.
Popsicle Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I used to get these messages on holidays too (including Mothers day) and even late at night when they were on vacation in the tropics. It also made me wonder. It doesn't matter though, they're still married but if you're wondering, I think Chris Rock said it best "Marriage is some boring ass ****!". Lol
Author blue963 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Well we spent a few hours on video chat last night. I am not hopeful or wishing difficulty for anyone it was just an observation and a question. Simple as that.
will-ow Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? They WERE together celebrating New Year.... it just happens that he also took a couple of opportunities to contact you too - sounds like pretty much any other night in the life of an EMR to me, to be honest!
underwater2010 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Simple answer is yes you are reading to much into it. She could have been asleep or wide awake...makes no difference. They could have had new years sex or not. Either way it is non of your business. I think the more important question is: If the holidays mean so much to you and you imply that they should be spent with that significant other, then why oh why are you engaging in a relationship with someone who CANNOT give you that? 2
MissBee Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 (edited) MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? Sending chats and emailing in the age of smart phones doesn't really require undivided attention and tons of effort. You can send chats/texts/emails while out partying, while at dinner when you go to the restroom, heck people do it while driving smh. Most people today have their phones on them while doing other activities. He wasn't messaging you the entire time neither was he actually having a phone conversation with you, so he very well could have been at dinner and sent those messages and it wouldn't have taken that much away from the main thing he was doing. I was at a NYE party last night, my phone was on me the whole time and I messaged some people and shared some pics. But for the most part I was engaged at the party, drinking, dancing, talking to people and if say I was cheating on my SO and managed to send those pics and messages to my OM, he wouldn't have been able to tell any difference, as me doing that would have taken a few minutes, even seconds, and would have been done while I'm still very much engaged in the party or while I stepped away for a few minutes, as I did many times last night to use the restroom or freshen up my makeup. Nowadays people always have their phones on them doing stuff, so that makes it easier to conduct affairs, as you can send your messages without it immediately seeming alarming, since most other people you're with will have their phones out too. So yea..I wouldn't read into that. Think about the difference: actually out on New Year's with his wife vs. Sent two electronic communications to you. One takes way less effort and can be done from any place without raising a stir and while you're engaged in other activities. Edited January 1, 2014 by MissBee
Mount Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Yes you are reading too much into a txt msg. It does not mean anything. MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here?
Author blue963 Posted January 2, 2014 Author Posted January 2, 2014 Interesting to watch the interpretations of what I wrote to what it ended up as being two text communications (which I never said that). Our contact wasnt just a text message. Can say sometimes posting is a learning experience.
whichwayisup Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 Interesting to watch the interpretations of what I wrote to what it ended up as being two text communications (which I never said that). Our contact wasnt just a text message. Can say sometimes posting is a learning experience. The advice and what's been said doesn't change just because some, maybe myself mis-read your opening post a bit. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years
vanellope Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? Hi, blue my situation was like yours before, that's also a reason I thought he was seperating with his wife, but the truth is he still married and live at home together. he text me often when he in bed, or called me on phone, or went out and spent night with me. however, it's nothing when I look back my life now. he can make many reasons to do what he want, and BS normally wont care too much if she don't know he have a girlfriend outside. They have boring marraige and who will care is her husband took 10 more minutes in his toilet, or sleep alone because she cannot sleep well with his snore, or he tell the wife sometimes he want have time alone. but for your question, I can tell you they are not in a good mirrage, as i said, if there is an affair happen, the mirrage already have problem inside, we can say it's not so bad but it's also not good as well.
Mount Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I believe everyone was trying to say is that, the reality is 100% opposite from what you are thinking or what you hope it will be. Simple is that. Interesting to watch the interpretations of what I wrote to what it ended up as being two text communications (which I never said that). Our contact wasnt just a text message. Can say sometimes posting is a learning experience.
Pushing Forward Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I'm a MW with an OM and I was with my H, family, and friends last night. At 11:48 I texted OM to see if he was ok because he was gonna text me when he left work. At 11:56 he replied that he was still at the party (a party he said he might go to). At 11:58 I replied back with "cool" because I was trying to be okay with it. At 12:02 I texted him "Happy New Year. I <3 you." At 3:08 I woke up and said "I hope you got my message" because he never responded to my Happy NY message. At 11:36 this morning he says "good morning, xoxo, got ur messages but later, phone went dead. Happy NY". Way more info than you needed, but I was with H and in a M I say I'm ok with and I'm not leaving, like your MOM I guess, but I still had the time and desire to text with him even though others were in the room. And to be fair I texted my BFF and also took pics of my family all right around midnight as well. What pisses me off is that he could tell me he was at the party at 11:56 but at 12:02 he couldn't respond to my text! And then tells me his battery was dead..WTF?
MissBee Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 (edited) Interesting to watch the interpretations of what I wrote to what it ended up as being two text communications (which I never said that). Our contact wasnt just a text message. Can say sometimes posting is a learning experience. Emails and chats are texts in the broad sense of the word. You're sending messages to someone via electronic texts. It's not a voice phone conversation, and if he was out, a text a chat or email on a phone all require the same actions. But as whichwayisup said...I don't think anyone twisted anything. Someone sending messages while out and about is very common and you asked if you were reading into it and people said you were and gave examples of exactly how people can send messages on their phone while doing all sorts of other things so you cannot use that to determine much. Ultimately it seems like you want confirmation that he is in an unhappy marriage because of this incident. From my time here and my own experience, happy or unhappy doesn't matter, it's what he chooses to do about it. I still don't think this incident can make that determination but what is sure is that he is having an affair and can choose to stay unhappily married or not... Edited January 2, 2014 by MissBee
C00kie Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 MM and BS went out to dinner for new years tonight. Yet he was available at 11:15 to send chats and 12:02 to email me happy new years. In my world, even tho he really doesn't complain about their relationship (accepts things for the way that they are) I cant understand how if you were in good marriage would not be together celebrating a new year. If I had a good husband, I know that I would want to celebrate with him. Am I off base here? I think I'm going to be the first one to agree with you no, you're not off base. You'd want to celebrate with your spouse if you had a happy marriage. AND of course, you wouldn't be sending emails at 12:02 if your supposedely significant other really meant that much. I do agree that he could have just sneaked off, and I do agree it means nothing when it comes to him actually leaving for you. But yeah. Was it a normal marriage, he wouldn't be sending you sms or mails by 11 pm and midnight of new years eve. But that's just me
Popsicle Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I think I'm going to be the first one to agree with you no, you're not off base. You'd want to celebrate with your spouse if you had a happy marriage. AND of course, you wouldn't be sending emails at 12:02 if your supposedely significant other really meant that much. I do agree that he could have just sneaked off, and I do agree it means nothing when it comes to him actually leaving for you. But yeah. Was it a normal marriage, he wouldn't be sending you sms or mails by 11 pm and midnight of new years eve. But that's just me I totally agree with both of you too, but hey, what do I know?
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