lilo9569 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Backstory: My ex and I broke up around 6 months ago. He had a lot going on in his life, and so did I. I felt him pulling away, and I got pretty distant and started to pull away, too. He broke up with me (we didn't end on bad terms, though I was pretty down about it for a while) and we basically dropped all contact for a few months. Maybe two months ago, I had texted him just to see how he was doing, and see if he had sorted his life out. He said he was fine, and contact ceased again. Then, about a month ago, he texted me and asked how I was doing. We had a conversation, joked and generally seemed to enjoy talking to each other. Since then, we've texted back and forth a little bit, and things seemed more relaxed. More recent past: So a few days ago, he texted me asking if I wanted to hang out that night. I said sure, but was kind of nervous. What if it was just a booty call? What if he was trying to get back together? What if I assumed too much and made a fool of myself? Well, I went over, and we just watched a couple movies. At first, I sat on a chair while he was on the couch (not wanting to make things weird), but it started to get chilly, so he invited me to curl up under the blanket with him. I did so, and he was respectful, no unnecessary touching, though our bodies were close enough to brush against each other. We were able to talk and laugh, and enjoy each other's company. Afterward, we hugged goodbye, and it was really sweet. Before I even got home, there was a text from him asking what my plans were for the following night. So, I went over to his place again the next night. Again, we watched some movies, but we immediately sat down with each other and cuddled, his arm around me, and we ended up laying down and cuddling for the second movie. When the second movie ended, I realized it was late and knew I should probably leave. I told him this, turned around to see his reaction, and he suddenly kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, and seemed affectionate, and led to more kissing. Buuttt after a little bit it turned into sex (which I hadn't particularly expected, though I wasn't complaining). When I went to leave, we hugged again, and kissed a few times, and again it seemed affectionate. Present day: So, it's been a few days. I haven't heard a peep out of him. I texted him twice (once the day after, and once today). He responded only once both times, so both times I've let it go. I'm not one to pursue if I feel the attention isn't wanted. But, what the hell just happened? Things suddenly went from hot to cold. Can anyone help me out? What might be going on here? I definitely wasn't expecting anything massive to happen overnight, but this just throws me for a loop. -_-
Mariposa10 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Well, you know the deal, it was a mistake to have sex with him. Don't contact him, wait for him to contact you. And do not have sex with him again, unless you want to be and are ready to be friends with benefits. 1
Author lilo9569 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 My ex got in touch with me after a few months and casually asked "do you want to **** me?" and being a human being I say "sure"... So we do and it was alright sex... but totally emotionless. We were clearly done with each other a few months before that session. I've definitely heard of that being the case before, but this didn't seem like that. I'm not 100% sure sex was his objective. It didn't seem that way, at least. I suppose technically I was the one who gave the ok for sex and he responded in kind. So, perhaps that threw him off or something?
2fargone Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 He might be confused, thinking things over. It could be anything. Give it some time.. 1
xUnknown Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 He might be confused, thinking things over. It could be anything. Give it some time.. Yeah, this is most likely what I feel the situation is.
Mariposa10 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Or he was just horny? I remember my ex wanting to have sex and I said no. I wanted to, but I knew I would feel bad after that because I still wanted a relationship. He might be confused, thinking things over. It could be anything. Give it some time..
2fargone Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Or he was just horny? I remember my ex wanting to have sex and I said no. I wanted to, but I knew I would feel bad after that because I still wanted a relationship. That's why I say it could be anything. What I feel is important is to not have our own negative experience influence an objective view of someone elses situation.
Mariposa10 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 yeah, but there are patterns which are hard to ignore in cases like this. This is so typical. I have read endless stories like OP's here on this forum. I do know there are exceptions. Seems like this guy's behavior changed after they had sex. Not that I see him like a villain though. We're all adults here. We'll just have to wait for OP's update. That's why I say it could be anything. What I feel is important is to not have our own negative experience influence an objective view of someone elses situation.
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