lilo9569 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Backstory: My ex and I broke up around 6 months ago. He had a lot going on in his life, and so did I. I felt him pulling away, and I got pretty distant and started to pull away, too. He broke up with me (we didn't end on bad terms, though I was pretty down about it for a while) and we basically dropped all contact for a few months. Maybe two months ago, I had texted him just to see how he was doing, and see if he had sorted his life out. He said he was fine, and contact ceased again. Then, about a month ago, he texted me and asked how I was doing. We had a conversation, joked and generally seemed to enjoy talking to each other. Since then, we've texted back and forth a little bit, and things seemed more relaxed. More recent past: So a few days ago, he texted me asking if I wanted to hang out that night. I said sure, but was kind of nervous. What if it was just a booty call? What if he was trying to get back together? What if I assumed too much and made a fool of myself? Well, I went over, and we just watched a couple movies. At first, I sat on a chair while he was on the couch (not wanting to make things weird), but it started to get chilly, so he invited me to curl up under the blanket with him. I did so, and he was respectful, no unnecessary touching, though our bodies were close enough to brush against each other. We were able to talk and laugh, and enjoy each other's company. Afterward, we hugged goodbye, and it was really sweet. Before I even got home, there was a text from him asking what my plans were for the following night. So, I went over to his place again the next night. Again, we watched some movies, but we immediately sat down with each other and cuddled, his arm around me, and we ended up laying down and cuddling for the second movie. When the second movie ended, I realized it was late and knew I should probably leave. I told him this, turned around to see his reaction, and he suddenly kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, and seemed affectionate, and led to more kissing. Buuttt after a little bit it turned into sex (which I hadn't particularly expected, though I wasn't complaining). When I went to leave, we hugged again, and kissed a few times, and again it seemed affectionate. Present day: So, it's been a few days. I haven't heard a peep out of him. I texted him twice (once the day after, and once today). He responded only once both times, so both times I've let it go. I'm not one to pursue if I feel the attention isn't wanted. But, what the hell just happened? Things suddenly went from hot to cold. Can anyone help me out? What might be going on here? I definitely wasn't expecting anything massive to happen overnight, but this just throws me for a loop. -_-
pickflicker Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Since this is go number 2, all bets are off. He needs to communicate in clear, precise terms, what his intentions are. Until you get that, your legs stay closed and you don't hang out with him again. In or out. No middle ground. 1
innocentbutterfly Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I'm sorry to be straight forward, but by what I read I think it was just a heat of the moment that you both got caught up in mixed with some memories maybe, that's why it seemed affectionate. If he would really want you back he wouldn't be responding like this after it. That's why you don't do sex with exes. It's just a moment of weakness I think.
HorseLuck Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 If he wanted you back I think he would have been direct about it. Since you responded to his texts and agree'd to hang, he didn't have to put much effort into clarifying what his intentions were. It might have just been a booty call. Time will tell.
smuggy95 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Well he was very eager after the first time to see you again. He probably is confused with what he wants now. You guys had broken up for a reason, and while he still has fond feelings for you, obviously those things aren't resolved to him. I don't think he meant it as a booty call, but he still has warm feelings for you, though it's not enough to overcome whatever broke you up. Understand that maybe a long term relationship isn't in the cards for both of you, and he might be backing out before it gets too much.
Simplysimon Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 This is possibly the worst thing you could have done. Never ever talk to an ex unless it's about children or they want you back full on. If your not in a relationship with them you shouldn't be talking to them. You don't want to know how their doing, or tell them how your doing. If they want you back should not promise anything other than to talk. Men keep their ex girls in tow for one reason, and you fell for it.....don't don't dont. All it has done has made you feel used hasn't it? No contact move on 1
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