blue963 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Noticing that when I am distancing myself its making me feel more in control of the situation. Ridiculous to have to play those types of games, but tired of using so much energy and being easy to get a hold of. 2
BehindTheseHazelEyes Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 It's not a game, it's a coping mechanism. You do what you have to do to take care of you. Don't make yourself too available. 5
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Noticing that when I am distancing myself its making me feel more in control of the situation. Ridiculous to have to play those types of games, but tired of using so much energy and being easy to get a hold of. NC or distancing yourself is about you only. So you can detach, focus on other things and other people in your life. It's only a game if you are intentionally doing it in hopes he'll chase you or pay more attention to you. Most who really DO want to detach, let it happen and naturally over time it just happens, but you need to stay pro active and make sure you don't sit and reminisce about him. NC also has to happen in your mind. 1
psm04 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 NC or distancing yourself is about you only. So you can detach, focus on other things and other people in your life. It's only a game if you are intentionally doing it in hopes he'll chase you or pay more attention to you. Most who really DO want to detach, let it happen and naturally over time it just happens, but you need to stay pro active and make sure you don't sit and reminisce about him. NC also has to happen in your mind. The bolded part is where I'm struggling. He's even in my dreams sometimes. I guess it'll get better in time. I hope so. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 The bolded part is where I'm struggling. He's even in my dreams sometimes. I guess it'll get better in time. I hope so. Dreams you can't control, but when you wake up, don't rehash and think about it. Thoughts of him must be pushed out your head. It's like any other habit, if you can make yourself stop, distract and do something else, automatically in time your mind will stop thinking of him so much. To sit, remember and reminisce is only doing damage to you (general you). Time takes care of most wounds, so don't give up! It'll get easier as time goes by. 1
tchrgrl Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I spend the majority of my day thinking about him, things we have done, things he has said, texted etc......the dreams happen too! It is so hard to manage. I was reading a book about getting over the obsessive thoughts I am having and it said to picture a big, old red STOP SIGN when those thoughts creep in. I am trying it, need all the help I can get. Good luck to you.... 1
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