butterfly2014 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I am feeling really sad and stressed out. My boyfriend of 3 months, who I am madly in love with, has stopped communicating with me. He sent me an email message about a week or 10 days ago, letting me know he had some difficulties and that he would be in touch, but that he needed some time to deal with his difficulties. He told me not to worry, to be patient, and that he loved me and was not leaving me. He told me he needed me to not get involved with the difficulty. I am trying to be patient, but I am going out of my mind worrying about him. I am also vacillating from hating him, to wishing I could just see him again. Does anyone have any advice for me? Could he be dumping me in a very weird, round about way???
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I am feeling really sad and stressed out. My boyfriend of 3 months, who I am madly in love with, has stopped communicating with me. He sent me an email message about a week or 10 days ago, letting me know he had some difficulties and that he would be in touch, but that he needed some time to deal with his difficulties. He told me not to worry, to be patient, and that he loved me and was not leaving me. He told me he needed me to not get involved with the difficulty. I am trying to be patient, but I am going out of my mind worrying about him. I am also vacillating from hating him, to wishing I could just see him again. Does anyone have any advice for me? Could he be dumping me in a very weird, round about way??? This is very, very off. Has he been behaving strangely otherwise? Do you have any reason to suspect he could be involved with another girl? Into something illegal? Dealing with a personal health problem that could be embarrassing or infectious? I would be very upset by this. Having said that, don't wait around for him. He gave you no warning and no chance to communicate. He cannot expect patience from you; that is a ridiculous request given his poor behaviour. If he really loved you, he would not play these silly games with you. Something is very wrong OP, whatever the "difficulty" is. The way he chose to deal with it is unacceptable, in my opinion. Have you tried to reach him?
Author butterfly2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Yes I have sent him about 100 emails, and called him about 50 times. No answer since Dec 27th. 4 days ago. The thing is... we were going to renovate the kitchen together. We had bought all of the tiles for the floor and backsplash. We painted rooms together. We did a lot together in which he invested tons of his time in me and making my house better. We had plans to go sailing this summer. I think he does love me, but is involved in something perhaps criminal.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Yes I have sent him about 100 emails, and called him about 50 times. No answer since Dec 27th. 4 days ago. The thing is... we were going to renovate the kitchen together. We had bought all of the tiles for the floor and backsplash. We painted rooms together. We did a lot together in which he invested tons of his time in me and making my house better. We had plans to go sailing this summer. I think he does love me, but is involved in something perhaps criminal. Well, what did he say when he replied to you? And what leads you to believe he could be involved in something criminal? I'm assuming there have been other flags in the past. He's being extremely shady. I wouldn't continue this relationship, OP.
nescafe1982 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 I agree with Expat. You can't just press pause on a relationship like this... it's not healthy and it's not right for him to do so. And that's IF there is nothing truly shady going on (another woman would be my guess, but even moreso if there is some illegal activity going on). You can't be with a person like this and have a healthy outcome. i would forget about him OP. 1
Author butterfly2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 His last message to me on the 27th was "i should not drink and write emails".... an inside joke between us. and he ended it with his usual "Kissssss". He wrote that in response to an email I sent him accusing him of taking up with another woman. I'm sorry... I know this is all so stupid. I just love him and am scared to death he is dead or hurt. I am going to drive out to his place tomorrow.
spiderowl Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 It's strange but when I read this, and before I read any of the other responses, I immediately thought he might be into something criminal. If he is, this could be why he hasn't been in touch at all, because he would know the police could trace his location if his phone is turned on or if he used a computer. It's just not on to do this to you. I can't think of any circumstances, other than criminal, why someone would just cut off like this and ask you to be patient and wait. What do you know about his normal line of work, for example?
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