Did I Do the Right Thing Here?????

[theothersully]

So I just got back to another FL location from Miami. I was down visiting my FWB / year long part time lover / whatever.

 

It did NOT go well!!

 

I got there and we went out to have a few drinks. This is normal for her. She has tons of inhibitions and enjoys drinking semi regularly. Once those drinks come out, watch out! You are in for the best time of your life. Seriously.

 

The entire night at the bar, we are close, touching, whispering in ears very close, grabbing her by the waist and leading her places, sitting so close our bodies were touching all night while having great conversations. HUGE flirting which is what gets her going.

 

So we get back from the bar to her place and we have some late night (4am) drunk food from her fridge. She then wants to go out to smoke. Yeah, I know.... gross... but you have no idea how hot this girl is. Everything is completely perfect on her. Everything. Unbelievable actually. So I overlook the ashtray mouth.

 

While we were out there smoking (her not me) and talking, she mentioned how another guy she was seeing was screwing up all her New Years plans and that she wanted to go to Deadmau5 with me for $300 instead. I though that sounded like a good idea. I do this kind of stuff all the time. Not out of the ordinary and sounded fun! The other guy doesn't bother me because I am seeing other girls too. But... this is obviously my favorite one.

 

After a while, it became time to go in and go to bed. We were getting tired. She then says, good night! See you tomorrow!

 

I had a different place to stay, but I was like WTF??

 

I didn't say anything and didn't try to start anything with her. I just went but then decided no... I didn't like that at all.

 

So I texted her to say I was going to a different part of FL in the morning where I had some work.

 

In the morning, she was like, huh??

 

I told her I was upset that she pushed me out the door like that, when I drove 8 hours round trip to see her and only to see her. Last time we hung out, we had the most amazing sex ever. Better than any porn I've ever seen. She was screaming her head off, had at least 3 good orgasms with full vaginal wall contractions, said she never felt anything like that before in her life. She's 22, so maybe she hasn't been with a guy at my experience level. Anyway, it was fully insane sex. Great for both of us and great in the bathroom of a bar, in the cab and in a hotel room. Our last visit together was a road trip up from Miami to NYC doing all that sex in NYC, as well as lots of meaningful, close talk and stuff. Not only sex.

 

So ok, she knows I was upset. I texted that I felt pushed out last night.

 

She says it's "f*uck me or die with you" and gets mad.

 

I said no... I didn't even want to have sex (I didn't, I was a little drunk for it actually and wanted to do it more sober this time with her) and that I enjoyed our lingering in bed in the mornings the last time, the head rub I gave her and that closeness. That I was just trying to be close together.

 

She didn't like that either. A few little text arguments and finally we calmed down and arrived at this...

 

She doesn't feel it anymore. She is trying to friend zone me while I visit her in Miami this time.

 

I said I wasn't interested in a friendship. We have never been just friends and if one person has some want and the other doesn't, then it's not a friendship. (learned that from you guys...lol)

 

I told her we should remain acquaintances and pen pals on Facebook, but that I can't visit her.

 

I mean it would bother me a lot to see her all lovey dovey with some dude boyfriend style. I would get all competitive. I am terrible with that stuff. Other dudes are to be eliminated in my life and I have no idea why. I need to be the top dude. I cannot explain that problem, but it's real. That's for another thread.... lol

 

So anyway, my questions are this...

 

What the hell just happened??? We were FWB/part time lovers for a year or so. We had the most intense sex ever last time. The sex isn't the problem. She is kind of thinking about that new dude and says she "really likes him" so that is my suspicion. No more FWBs for her, but she didn't say it. She just tried to slam me into the friend zone.

 

Other question: Did I do the right thing by rejecting her friendship offer? Now I know, yes.... this is normally the right thing to do. BUT... this girl lives in downtown Miami, goes to college there, is bi and has as many girls trying to get with her as the army of guys doing the same. She has a HUGE social circle in Miami and everyone loves her. She knows that entire city it seems.

 

So... was it a mistake to cut myself off from that potential source of new girls? Still, I don't know if I could watch her be all lovey dovey anyway, without making an ass out of myself.

 

I do have some feelings for her, but know she's not "the one" in any way, shape or form (annoying at times, does drugs, is kind of a poseur when it comes to organic foods and whatever, etc...)

 

So what do you think? I am not able to process this well. I know you people can!

Edited December 31, 2013 by theothersully

[Keenly]

I think that deciding not to see her anymore was a good idea.

 

I almost feel like you drove all the way down there with false pretenses. O probably would have asked why she didn't have the courtesy to tell me she wasn't interested before I had made the long drive.

[theothersully]

I think that deciding not to see her anymore was a good idea.

 

I almost feel like you drove all the way down there with false pretenses. O probably would have asked why she didn't have the courtesy to tell me she wasn't interested before I had made the long drive.

 

 

I pretty much said exactly that during the argument. I was just shocked I drove 8 total hours to get put into a friend zone without any advance warning.

[StyleOnEm]

Man once you got her back at her place, you shouldve picked her up and pressed her up against the wall & made out with her and then tossed her over the shoulder and threw her on the bed. What's with this fridge food you're talking about? You were playing it safe, going with the motions and letting her lead.

 

Hot girls like that, you gotta man handle bro.

[theothersully]

Man once you got her back at her place, you shouldve picked her up and pressed her up against the wall & made out with her and then tossed her over the shoulder and threw her on the bed. What's with this fridge food you're talking about? You were playing it safe, going with the motions and letting her lead.

 

Hot girls like that, you gotta man handle bro.

 

Love the post. Food,... yeah, wtf was I thinking? ha ha ha Hungry and drunk.

 

This one's a little different actually though. She has to initiate the first move every time. If you initiate, she backs off and it's blown for the night. Been down that road a few times already with her.

 

With this one, you have to get her turned on before hand and then she goes for the first kiss of the night (or follows you into the mens room, locks the door and tears your pants off). She does not like anyone leading at first. In her mind, it has to be 100% her idea.

 

But she's gone now, I guess. Sent her to Facebook friend zone. That was my other question. Should I have done that?

[StyleOnEm]

Love the post. Food,... yeah, wtf was I thinking? ha ha ha Hungry and drunk.

 

This one's a little different actually though. She has to initiate the first move every time. If you initiate, she backs off and it's blown for the night. Been down that road a few times already with her.

 

With this one, you have to get her turned on before hand and then she goes for the first kiss of the night (or follows you into the mens room, locks the door and tears your pants off). She does not like anyone leading at first. In her mind, it has to be 100% her idea.

 

But she's gone now, I guess. Sent her to Facebook friend zone. That was my other question. Should I have done that?

 

Maybe it was that time of the month for her? Or she was constipated/bloated after eating and wasn't feeling sexy anymore? At this point I don't think it really matters friend zone or not. Most flings aren't meant to last forever, and you found out that it's most likely over. I think the distance is what really killed it. Especially since she can have any guy she wants. Most likely she doesn't want to deal with any drama and long distance fwb's since she can't just call you up when she's feeling horny.

[theothersully]

Maybe it was that time of the month for her? Or she was constipated/bloated after eating and wasn't feeling sexy anymore? At this point I don't think it really matters friend zone or not. Most flings aren't meant to last forever, and you found out that it's most likely over. I think the distance is what really killed it. Especially since she can have any guy she wants. Most likely she doesn't want to deal with any drama and long distance fwb's since she can't just call you up when she's feeling horny.

 

That's what I was thinking too. I lose tons of girls because I am always traveling.

 

That other local dude worked his way in over the month we haven't seen each other.

 

I think you nailed it. I had a little crush on her at the start, so it was fwb and a little more on my end probably.

 

Oh well. Time to find the next one. Maybe one that isn't so rooted and can join in my travels.

[theothersully]

so this girl goes out for new years with the other guy, I can see this from her facebook. he is tagged in her new years night. and just now, she texts me to ask how I'm doing and if I had a good New Years Eve last night!

 

if there were a definition of games, this is it!

 

now I feel challenged. Hahaha I want to play the game and beat her at it. :-)

 

I'm going to enlist the help of the board. What is my next move? Normally, I would just bail. But this is kind of fun and a bit entertaining.

 

I don't think any guy has ever just flat out told her no like I just did. That is driving her insane.

 

what are the possible next moves?

 

you have plenty of time to answer about the next move, because I want to string her out on this text anyway for several hours if not 24 hours. :-) hahaha

Edited January 1, 2014 by theothersully

[dreamingoftigers]

I think the next love is to leave her alone.

She's out with this other dude. She said so. She friendzoned you because of it.

[theothersully]

I think the next love is to leave her alone.

She's out with this other dude. She said so. She friendzoned you because of it.

 

She's as "out with the other dude" as she is with me. She is gaming everybody, from what it looks like. We are all friendzoned/part time lovers, etc...

 

She just contacted me. She is still playing. I'm going to play back for fun/sport. i have a sense of humor about it.

 

Anyone want to play the game with me by offering up some new moves?

[theothersully]

this isn't going to be an easy game, and I'm bound to lose. she might be 22, but I'm playing a game against Garry Kasparov!

[Haydn]

This is just about sex and not the relationship i think? Not sure what you what to hear?

 

this isn't going to be an easy game, and I'm bound to lose. she might be 22, but I'm playing a game against Garry Kasparov!

[drallafi]

this isn't going to be an easy game, and I'm bound to lose. she might be 22, but I'm playing a game against Garry Kasparov!

 

I mean if you aren't above lying... we can have some fun with this. If the ultimate goal is to make her wanna fucc you again, though, you aren't going to win.

[theothersully]

This is just about sex and not the relationship i think? Not sure what you what to hear?

 

Yeah, i don't know that it has a future. There is no way it can, but she is trying to yo yo me back now again. Texting more stuff about I should come over next time I'm in Miami and stay the night this time.

 

Letting the fish run with the line right now.... no response from me so far, but more texts from her.

[theothersully]

I mean if you aren't above lying... we can have some fun with this. If the ultimate goal is to make her wanna fucc you again, though, you aren't going to win.

 

Oh, I will... lololol Hooking up with her isn't that hard.

 

Maybe you need to have inside info on her to know what moves work.

 

It has to be her doing, in her mind, that we hook up, but she is already alluding to that in texts tonight, which i haven't responded to.

 

I have seen before, when some pro tennis player she was crushing on stopped returning her calls, she went full on stalker mode. I figure I'll try a play from his book. He's a pro player after all....

[CC12]

so this girl goes out for new years with the other guy, I can see this from her facebook. he is tagged in her new years night. and just now, she texts me to ask how I'm doing and if I had a good New Years Eve last night!

 

if there were a definition of games, this is it!

 

now I feel challenged. Hahaha I want to play the game and beat her at it. :-)

 

I don't get it. What game do you think she's playing? And why do you need to the help of an internet forum to play along?

 

You got mad and acted all weird at her because she didn't have sex with you or let you sleep in her bed or massage her head or whatever you wanted to do. So she then she told you she wasn't feeling it anymore and basically ended the "benefits" part of your friendship. Right?

 

And now you're saying you drove her insane because you told her no? And that her friendly text was actually some sort of challenge? I don't think you're interpreting things realistically.

 

I don't know, man. I think you should just let this one go. I feel like you might further embarrass yourself if you try to "beat her" at a game, because I'm not sure she's even playing one.

 

And please don't try to emulate some pro tennis player she dated. I'm afraid that's going to make you look really silly.

[Kizmet Fisher]

So I just got back to another FL location from Miami. I was down visiting my FWB / year long part time lover / whatever.

 

It did NOT go well!!

 

I got there and we went out to have a few drinks. This is normal for her. She has tons of inhibitions and enjoys drinking semi regularly. Once those drinks come out, watch out! You are in for the best time of your life. Seriously.

 

The entire night at the bar, we are close, touching, whispering in ears very close, grabbing her by the waist and leading her places, sitting so close our bodies were touching all night while having great conversations. HUGE flirting which is what gets her going.

 

So we get back from the bar to her place and we have some late night (4am) drunk food from her fridge. She then wants to go out to smoke. Yeah, I know.... gross... but you have no idea how hot this girl is. Everything is completely perfect on her. Everything. Unbelievable actually. So I overlook the ashtray mouth.

 

While we were out there smoking (her not me) and talking, she mentioned how another guy she was seeing was screwing up all her New Years plans and that she wanted to go to Deadmau5 with me for $300 instead. I though that sounded like a good idea. I do this kind of stuff all the time. Not out of the ordinary and sounded fun! The other guy doesn't bother me because I am seeing other girls too. But... this is obviously my favorite one.

 

After a while, it became time to go in and go to bed. We were getting tired. She then says, good night! See you tomorrow!

 

I had a different place to stay, but I was like WTF??

 

I didn't say anything and didn't try to start anything with her. I just went but then decided no... I didn't like that at all.

 

So I texted her to say I was going to a different part of FL in the morning where I had some work.

 

In the morning, she was like, huh??

 

I told her I was upset that she pushed me out the door like that, when I drove 8 hours round trip to see her and only to see her. Last time we hung out, we had the most amazing sex ever. Better than any porn I've ever seen. She was screaming her head off, had at least 3 good orgasms with full vaginal wall contractions, said she never felt anything like that before in her life. She's 22, so maybe she hasn't been with a guy at my experience level. Anyway, it was fully insane sex. Great for both of us and great in the bathroom of a bar, in the cab and in a hotel room. Our last visit together was a road trip up from Miami to NYC doing all that sex in NYC, as well as lots of meaningful, close talk and stuff. Not only sex.

 

So ok, she knows I was upset. I texted that I felt pushed out last night.

 

She says it's "f*uck me or die with you" and gets mad.

 

I said no... I didn't even want to have sex (I didn't, I was a little drunk for it actually and wanted to do it more sober this time with her) and that I enjoyed our lingering in bed in the mornings the last time, the head rub I gave her and that closeness. That I was just trying to be close together.

 

She didn't like that either. A few little text arguments and finally we calmed down and arrived at this...

 

She doesn't feel it anymore. She is trying to friend zone me while I visit her in Miami this time.

 

I said I wasn't interested in a friendship. We have never been just friends and if one person has some want and the other doesn't, then it's not a friendship. (learned that from you guys...lol)

 

I told her we should remain acquaintances and pen pals on Facebook, but that I can't visit her.

 

I mean it would bother me a lot to see her all lovey dovey with some dude boyfriend style. I would get all competitive. I am terrible with that stuff. Other dudes are to be eliminated in my life and I have no idea why. I need to be the top dude. I cannot explain that problem, but it's real. That's for another thread.... lol

 

So anyway, my questions are this...

 

What the hell just happened??? We were FWB/part time lovers for a year or so. We had the most intense sex ever last time. The sex isn't the problem. She is kind of thinking about that new dude and says she "really likes him" so that is my suspicion. No more FWBs for her, but she didn't say it. She just tried to slam me into the friend zone.

 

Other question: Did I do the right thing by rejecting her friendship offer? Now I know, yes.... this is normally the right thing to do. BUT... this girl lives in downtown Miami, goes to college there, is bi and has as many girls trying to get with her as the army of guys doing the same. She has a HUGE social circle in Miami and everyone loves her. She knows that entire city it seems.

 

So... was it a mistake to cut myself off from that potential source of new girls? Still, I don't know if I could watch her be all lovey dovey anyway, without making an ass out of myself.

 

I do have some feelings for her, but know she's not "the one" in any way, shape or form (annoying at times, does drugs, is kind of a poseur when it comes to organic foods and whatever, etc...)

 

So what do you think? I am not able to process this well. I know you people can!

 

This post just screams bruised ego.

[drallafi]

Oh, I will... lololol Hooking up with her isn't that hard.

 

Maybe you need to have inside info on her to know what moves work.

 

It has to be her doing, in her mind, that we hook up, but she is already alluding to that in texts tonight, which i haven't responded to.

 

I have seen before, when some pro tennis player she was crushing on stopped returning her calls, she went full on stalker mode. I figure I'll try a play from his book. He's a pro player after all....

 

I think you're gonna get hurt bro. I'd just leave this one alone.

[Keenly]

This post just screams bruised ego.

 

When a man puts in effort and then is turned down, uhhh yeah his feelings are going to get jury.

 

Are men not allowed to feel ?