Softie Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Today has been the first day in a few weeks I'm missing my ex. NC since 1st December. BU 3 months ago. Wish he'd come to his senses or I'd just forget about him. Either or, I just want to get past this. So much love to give and no one special to share it with. How can such a loving good interesting fun person be single over this special season. I've lived by myself for 11 years but have always been open to a decent relationship. I'm not willing to settle for a crap one. Why is it so hard? And why do people treat relationships so disposable these days? Saddens me even more.
margot13 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Today has been the first day in a few weeks I'm missing my ex. NC since 1st December. BU 3 months ago. Wish he'd come to his senses or I'd just forget about him. Either or, I just want to get past this. So much love to give and no one special to share it with. How can such a loving good interesting fun person be single over this special season. I've lived by myself for 11 years but have always been open to a decent relationship. I'm not willing to settle for a crap one. Why is it so hard? And why do people treat relationships so disposable these days? Saddens me even more. It will get better, I understand how you feel. Have on New Years Eve decided I would rather sleep than join all the happy people.... But maybe I just need to do this???? It is never easy, and I guess moments like tonight are the hardest. x
Mondmellonw Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Today has been the first day in a few weeks I'm missing my ex. NC since 1st December. BU 3 months ago. Wish he'd come to his senses or I'd just forget about him. Either or, I just want to get past this. So much love to give and no one special to share it with. How can such a loving good interesting fun person be single over this special season. I've lived by myself for 11 years but have always been open to a decent relationship. I'm not willing to settle for a crap one. Why is it so hard? And why do people treat relationships so disposable these days? Saddens me even more. "How can such a loving good interesting fun person be single over this special season." We have to see this whole NYE celebration thing as if we were one step closer to find the right person for us, the one that can see how really special we are. I understand how you feel, but time is passing by and we need to (somehow) move on.
Author Softie Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 So many questions still flying around my brain even 3 months down the line. What was real, what was the truth, what was lies? Feels like everything he ever told me was BS, from the fact he'd be with me til we got old, to that he'd not been with anyone for 18 months. To him saying after it was over he never expected to meet anyone as wonderful as me on that website. I'm left with wondering did he, although adamantly denied cheat on me, or not, I don't know because the lies of we would be together forever are mixed in with its over (with no good reason apart from he is a commitment phobe). Even his best mate (a female said so that he it's a control thing and he cannot admit he truly belonged with someone). I don't know what to believe of what he told me and what not too - and it's doing my head in! I feel so upset, everything I thought I had, everything I believed in was BS and now in the past. Is love worth it? Is it worth putting yourself out there again? Trusting again? Why can't I just not give a rats @$$ about it about him. FFS. Mornings are the worst for me, serotonin levels are low before the day gets started and I feel very tearful but as the day goes on I usually feel better. Such a mess, such a shame as everyone keeps telling me!
2fargone Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 For me, I accept everything as the truth. It's just that not everyone deals with feelings and change equally. Love is worth it. But I'll be damned if I ever let it dictate my life again.
headinthecloud Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 (edited) I know how you're feeling and it's awful. I can tell you with more time (at least mother 2-3mos) it does get significantly, better. My ex cheated on me and lied to my face when I confronted him with proof...he thought I bought his excuses too which just proves how dumb he really is. The "I was just trying to delete my dating profile" excuse or "it's just spam!" (really....that's why you have an account on that site?!). Lies, all of it was lies. It took me about 4 months to accept that the man I loved doesn't exist - he never did, actually. I fell in love with who I thought he was, not who he really is, and that's why I wanted so desperately to believe his words (and consequently ignored his actions). But I refuse to accept all men are like him nowadays. I was with a good man once so I know that they are out there you just need to heal from the damage this lying a****** caused you and open your heart again. First, rebuild your self-esteem to prevent this from happening in the future. Then start dating when you're ready but have fun, nothing serious. In time, you will find him. But all your thoughts should be focused on you know. No matter how hard you wished it were different, it isn't. It is what it is. Choose to rise above it and better yourself. We're here for you. Edited January 4, 2014 by headinthecloud 4
Author Softie Posted January 4, 2014 Author Posted January 4, 2014 I know how you're feeling and it's awful. I can tell you with more time (at least mother 2-3mos) it does get significantly, better. My ex cheated on me and lied to my face when I confronted him with proof...he thought I bought his excuses too which just proves how dumb he really is. The "I was just trying to delete my dating profile" excuse or "it's just spam!" (really....that's why you have an account on that site?!). Lies, all of it was lies. It took me about 4 months to accept that the man I loved doesn't exist - he never did, actually. I fell in love with who I thought he was, not who he really is, and that's why I wanted so desperately to believe his words (and consequently ignored his actions). But I refuse to accept all men are like him nowadays. I was with a good man once so I know that they are out there you just need to heal from the damage this lying a****** caused you and open your heart again. First, rebuild your self-esteem to prevent this from happening in the future. Then start dating when you're ready but have fun, nothing serious. In time, you will find him. But all your thoughts should be focused on you know. No matter how hard you wished it were different, it isn't. It is what it is. Choose to rise above it and better yourself. We're here for you. Yes your right need to keep reminding myself that the man I thought I knew doesn't exist. I know this sounds horrid but it would be easier if he was dead. I don't wish him dead but it would sure be easier. I am trying to concentrate on myself and have been it's just I have these dips, feel low and then the mind just goes off on the thoughts.
Haydn Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Hey softie. Always look to Chelsea. My club and glamour abound. I wished my ex GF was dead as well at one point but then i worked out that i am special. Just like you.
collegeguy_24 Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 So much love to give and no one special to share it with. How can such a loving good interesting fun person be single over this special season. I understand this well. I am a gentleman, always have been. I treat woman kindly and with respect. I just ask I am treated with respect in turn. Like the old saying, treat others how you would like to be treated. I'm not a door mat, but it seems that being nice and kind, and even being a gentleman doesnt work now days. I just want someone to love me as much as I love them. Why is it so hard? And why do people treat relationships so disposable these days? Saddens me even more. I also understand this. I believe in giving a relationship everything and if it doesn't work, at least everyone can say they tried. Instead I give and give, and get very little in return. My last relationship ended on New years because she didn't want to put in the effort anymore. She said she was going to be busy with school and work, but we can still have worked on it. She just didn't want to even try despite telling me she loved me. I understand your pain, and like many others we are here for you. 1
JDPT Posted January 4, 2014 Posted January 4, 2014 Hang in there bud. Weekends have become rather challenging for me lately as there isn't whole deal to do. Stay strong and internalize the cat that there is no turning back from this. Your only option is to continue to move forward with your plans, pave yourself a better future. We all deal with moments of distress, I'm currently dealing with those, but I have come to learn that when under pressure is when you come up with new alternatives.
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