carlporstmouth Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 (edited) Been seeing MW for 6 months. Shes been married 6 yrs. No intention to leave Husband even tho he treats her bad etc Recently she had a pregnancy scare with him. Never speak about him but should i now tell her that i think its a bad idea she has a kid with her husband as i dont think its best for her? even tho i know she wont leave him baby or no baby. even if it means we split i dont think its a good idea for her. Any thoughts? Edited December 31, 2013 by carlporstmouth
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 You can tell her, but it's her life, and her decision. What are you hoping to gain by telling her?
Author carlporstmouth Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Sorry that should me Married Woman not OW. pteromom guess im hoping she sees getting pregnant with him is a bad idea for her fullstop
MissBee Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Been seeing MW for 6 months. Shes been married 6 yrs. No intention to leave Husband even tho he treats her bad etc Recently she had a pregnancy scare with him. Never speak about him but should i now tell her that i think its a bad idea she has a kid with her husband as i dont think its best for her? even tho i know she wont leave him baby or no baby. even if it means we split i dont think its a good idea for her. Any thoughts? What is your hope for this relationship? If you care about her you can give your opinion on it and it's up to her to decide what to do. But frankly, if she never plans to leave him and she wants children, how else will she get them? Why is he bad for her? Is he abusive?
carhill Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Any thoughts? My most compelling thoughts, having been an OM and facing this reality, are two-fold: MW's do what they do and often it seems antithetical to stated realities/perceptions and/or common sense. Further, her being pregnant or not pregnant by her H is really none of my business as an outsider to the M Trust what one hears from a MW as their perspective, but verify it and, if unverifiable, discount it. As example, if the MW states her H treats her bad, and you observe bruises and there are police reports for domestic battery, then that would be verification of her stated perspective. I mention this because it's common for married people on the prowl to troll for sympathy, or just be open to any portal of sympathy even if not specifically having a target in mind. I wouldn't make a suggestion one way or another. Good luck.
pteromom Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Sorry that should me Married Woman not OW. pteromom guess im hoping she sees getting pregnant with him is a bad idea for her fullstop You can tell her. You have nothing to lose, except her getting angry at you for sharing her opinion. If you are willing to risk that, then go for it. Most people do not react well to others telling them how to live their lives though. Especially when the person has a stake in the choice being made. (If she has a child, will she still want to continue the affair with me? Will her pregnancy affect our sex? etc)
Author carlporstmouth Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 What is your hope for this relationship? If you care about her you can give your opinion on it and it's up to her to decide what to do. But frankly, if she never plans to leave him and she wants children, how else will she get them? Why is he bad for her? Is he abusive? My hope i suppose is just for it to not change. more verbally abusive.
Author carlporstmouth Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 You can tell her. You have nothing to lose, except her getting angry at you for sharing her opinion. If you are willing to risk that, then go for it. Most people do not react well to others telling them how to live their lives though. Especially when the person has a stake in the choice being made. (If she has a child, will she still want to continue the affair with me? Will her pregnancy affect our sex? etc) yeah thats my worry. that she sees me as having an agenda. i know it would end things between us but that really isnt the reason i want to tell her.
whichwayisup Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Been seeing MW for 6 months. Shes been married 6 yrs. No intention to leave Husband even tho he treats her bad etc Recently she had a pregnancy scare with him. Never speak about him but should i now tell her that i think its a bad idea she has a kid with her husband as i dont think its best for her? even tho i know she wont leave him baby or no baby. even if it means we split i dont think its a good idea for her. Any thoughts? Why do you not think it's a good idea for her to have a baby with her own husband? It is not your business or place to dictate or control her. You're having an affair with her, you're not her husband so therefore accept the A for what it is or end it. sorry to be blunt but you can't tell her what to do. If you don't like the idea of her having a baby, end your A and find someone else more suitable for you.
blue963 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Well sometimes pregnancy isn't planned. Has she mentioned about trying to get pregnant again. Perhaps she may not try again. I say talk. If done in the right way I think she will take is as caring rather than controlling.
Nothisgirl Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 If you care about her and you're truly saying it because you are worried for her, then yes, I think you should say something.
Author carlporstmouth Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 Well sometimes pregnancy isn't planned. Has she mentioned about trying to get pregnant again. Perhaps she may not try again. I say talk. If done in the right way I think she will take is as caring rather than controlling. shes not talked about it no but ive seen her being broody and get the impression thats what she wants. i just think a baby with him will trap her. how do i say that without overstepping my mark? as i know thats how it sounds
Popsicle Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Yes, I think you should tell her. Always say how you truly feel. Be true to yourself. She may not listen though, and that is something to consider too.
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