JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Do you guys think it's ok to burn all the bridges even if it's a good break up? My ex is a great person. she loved me for 2 years but things just didn't work out the way you expect things to work out. She has no way to contact me since I blocked her from everything because I simply just want to move on and forget about her. I feel bad because she is contacting me she said she wanted to keep in touch.. any thoughts on this?
k10k Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Have you explained to her why you want no contact, i.e so that you can both heal and move on? If not, then I'd suggest doing that first before just disappearing completely, so that she can understand why you are not keeping in touch.
Allumere Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 To cut someone out of you life like that IMHO is cruel,cowardly, and disrespectful. Sorry. Two years and then poof? Have you ever been thrown away or discarded? Imagine if your best friend just disappeared tomorrow...do you not think you would miss them or wonder about them or just wish you could talk to them? Well that is the position she is in. Two years of her life! If you had any respect for this woman and cared at all you in the least need to tell her why you have disappeared. You also need to deal with the breakup yourself and stop sweeping the emotions of it under the rug. If you don't it will affect future relationships. 3
organizedchaos Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Do you guys think it's ok to burn all the bridges even if it's a good break up? My ex is a great person. she loved me for 2 years but things just didn't work out the way you expect things to work out. She has no way to contact me since I blocked her from everything because I simply just want to move on and forget about her. I feel bad because she is contacting me she said she wanted to keep in touch.. any thoughts on this? Who broke up with who?
HorseLuck Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Notify her and let her know you're requesting a NC period. Don't just go missing in action. Imo, it doesn't really matter who ended things. If you feel you don't want to maintain a relationship, do what is going to be in your best interest for the long run.
2fargone Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 To stay on-topic (because it doesn't matter who broke up with who), I think it's a great idea. Maybe a bit too pro-active, but sure... Don't notify her, it will look manipulative. I never ever stay in touch with an ex. That's up to her. I don't block anyone, I do delete them from my skype and phone (but don't block). I have no Facebook. They can email or call me but I will never do that and I see no reason to stay in touch.
Author JohnnyLoverBoy Posted December 31, 2013 Author Posted December 31, 2013 She broke up with me.. At first I did told her we can't be friends right now because we both need to move on she said she understand and she will wait for the day that I will be ready to talk to her again. after that conversation we tried talking about stuff like how are you, how's work and it's just too painful for me to be in contact so I just disappeared and removed her from everything. I didn't want to do that but I need to do what's best for me.
fancy feast Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Do what you need to do for yourself. If you feel the need to reach out in the future, at least you'll be doing so with a healthier mindset.
chris21422 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Sorry but I don't think he owe her anything after break up.. It's not cruel, cowardly and disrespectful if he's doing it for himself.. He simply wants to move on and I don't see anything wrong with that.. Why keep in touch when it's over? It's just one sided and all the benefit is for the dumper.. To cut someone out of you life like that IMHO is cruel,cowardly, and disrespectful. Sorry. Two years and then poof? Have you ever been thrown away or discarded? Imagine if your best friend just disappeared tomorrow...do you not think you would miss them or wonder about them or just wish you could talk to them? Well that is the position she is in. Two years of her life! If you had any respect for this woman and cared at all you in the least need to tell her why you have disappeared. You also need to deal with the breakup yourself and stop sweeping the emotions of it under the rug. If you don't it will affect future relationships.
Kopite Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 She broke up with me.. At first I did told her we can't be friends right now because we both need to move on she said she understand and she will wait for the day that I will be ready to talk to her again. after that conversation we tried talking about stuff like how are you, how's work and it's just too painful for me to be in contact so I just disappeared and removed her from everything. I didn't want to do that but I need to do what's best for me. I know most people won't agree with this, but in my opinion the best thing to do would be to have one final chat and tell her that you are going NC. Otherwise, if you don't answer, she might start to get worried to the point where she might think that something happened to you and will try quite hard to find a way to contact you, which won't be good for you. I was in the same position as you bud last week. Decided to tell her straight up that I am taking her off skype and facebook so I can move on and I told her that I don't want her contacting me ever. No "hi", "how are you", "I miss you" messages from her, and after being reluctant at first (she wanted to stay friends) she finally respected my wishes and agreed. It helped me to have a little closure. We both said our final goodbyes and that was it.
ponchsox Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 The breakup is the burning of the bridge. Not building another one is NC. 1
Allumere Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Sorry but I don't think he owe her anything after break up.. It's not cruel, cowardly and disrespectful if he's doing it for himself.. He simply wants to move on and I don't see anything wrong with that.. Why keep in touch when it's over? It's just one sided and all the benefit is for the dumper.. As JLB has clarified since my post, she broke up with him, so my view is different but advice is the same. Stuff doesn't go away. Sweeping the dead mouse under the rug doesn't make it go away, just out of view....and in awhile its gonna stink. If this was a "good" break then again they should respect each other and the relationship they had and communicate. Again, confront the issue, not run. All that needs to be done is tell her what and why.
somedude81 Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 So she dumped you, and wants to maintain contact? That doesn't make any sense. You don't owe her anything. If she wanted to maintain contact with you, she shouldn't have ended it.
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