xMetallica Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Knowing she loves/has a new man and can't stop thinking about what they're doing. For the past year I tried making contact but she didn't reply to my messages she ignored them all. I saw her pictures on Facebook... immediately deactivated my account didn't bother removing her from my friends list. Couldn't take it - can't remove the images from my head. I also can't stop thinking that could be us right now. I feel hopeless, broken, miserable and frustrated knowing there's not a dam thing I can do about this. It's killing me and a big part of me still still wants to hold on.
lovesick1 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 In the same boat with you buddy. She left me for another guy after 3 and a half years for something more convenient. I had to go through watching pics of them on facebook, seeing her smile with this new guy, traveling to other countries, going to events and functions. And she just dropped me out of the blue. What sucks the most about it is they do this then stay with the new person a long time. You wouldn't expect that. People that do this, as it seems to me, do it on quick, fleeting emotions and soon realize the person they left is a much better choice. You gotta wonder if they ever think about you. The best advice I can offer you if you want her back- stop contacting her, but show her you've moved on. AKA, upload pictures of you and people (particularly girls) to your facebook when you reactivate it (also her knowing you deactivated it kinda spells that you don't wanna see her with him, doesn't help your case), get involved in other stuff, appear over her and moved on. It may work, it may not. I've tried and it doesn't. I am doing making one last ditch effort by uploading her favorite piano song, one she told me she loved when she was half asleep longgg ago (KD Lang- Hallejuah) to my facebook. If it gets no response, then I am done with it. She will have moved on and I should too. If you really want her back, do something like this. Something that isn't obvious but that will definitely catch her attention and make her miss/think of you. Good luck
LadyM Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I feel so bad for you because I know exactly how you feel. My ex also left me for another woman and they've been together for over a year now. Just like you, I think about them all the time, all their closeness and all the fun they are having. I want him to be having all that with me, not her. I think it is great that you deactivated FB. I think FB causes more anguish than anything for people. You're right - knowing that we have absolutely no control over whether or not they come back is exceedingly frustrating and painful. And chances are likely, from all I've read on LS, they mostly never come back. I really understand how you cling to holding on to hope. I do the same. Even though I can't offer you a solution, please take some solace in knowing others feel the depths of despair just like you.
organizedchaos Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 In the same boat with you buddy. She left me for another guy after 3 and a half years for something more convenient. I had to go through watching pics of them on facebook, seeing her smile with this new guy, traveling to other countries, going to events and functions. And she just dropped me out of the blue. What sucks the most about it is they do this then stay with the new person a long time. You wouldn't expect that. People that do this, as it seems to me, do it on quick, fleeting emotions and soon realize the person they left is a much better choice. You gotta wonder if they ever think about you. The best advice I can offer you if you want her back- stop contacting her, but show her you've moved on. AKA, upload pictures of you and people (particularly girls) to your facebook when you reactivate it (also her knowing you deactivated it kinda spells that you don't wanna see her with him, doesn't help your case), get involved in other stuff, appear over her and moved on. It may work, it may not. I've tried and it doesn't. I am doing making one last ditch effort by uploading her favorite piano song, one she told me she loved when she was half asleep longgg ago (KD Lang- Hallejuah) to my facebook. If it gets no response, then I am done with it. She will have moved on and I should too. If you really want her back, do something like this. Something that isn't obvious but that will definitely catch her attention and make her miss/think of you. Good luck Worst advice ever. You didn't have to go through seeing any of that. You chose to by staying connected to her fb. You have prolonged your suffering and trying to make her jealous. You want her back, this is not how you do it if it's to mean anything. Disappear and let her miss you and decide on her own. 1
lovesick1 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Worst advice ever. You didn't have to go through seeing any of that. You chose to by staying connected to her fb. You have prolonged your suffering and trying to make her jealous. You want her back, this is not how you do it if it's to mean anything. Disappear and let her miss you and decide on her own. I disagree. If you want something sometimes you have to go out and get it. You want better chances of her coming back to you it wouldn't hurt to put thoughts of you into her head subtly. I understand where you are coming from though. I am in a PhD human behavior program I think I have a pretty good idea of how to get people to do what you want
UltraTech Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Knowing she loves/has a new man and can't stop thinking about what they're doing. For the past year I tried making contact but she didn't reply to my messages she ignored them all. I saw her pictures on Facebook... immediately deactivated my account didn't bother removing her from my friends list. Couldn't take it - can't remove the images from my head. I also can't stop thinking that could be us right now. I feel hopeless, broken, miserable and frustrated knowing there's not a dam thing I can do about this. It's killing me and a big part of me still still wants to hold on. Mistake 1: Making contact and sending messages, big no. I know its easier said than done but it does nothing other than portray you as weak and needy and she will use that to re-inforce her decision to be with someone else. However, i have some good news for you. You'd dodged a bullet. Did she leave you, spend time on her own to find herself and then naturally fall for another man? Or did she monkey branch from you over to him leaving you to pick up the pieces in the process? I have a feeling the answer is number 2 and if so you have no future with a woman like that my friend. Women like that always hop from one, to the the next, to the next, one infatuation to another. Not a stable choice for a long term relationship. Trust me.
lovesick1 Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 Mistake 1: Making contact and sending messages, big no. I know its easier said than done but it does nothing other than portray you as weak and needy and she will use that to re-inforce her decision to be with someone else. However, i have some good news for you. You'd dodged a bullet. Did she leave you, spend time on her own to find herself and then naturally fall for another man? Or did she monkey branch from you over to him leaving you to pick up the pieces in the process? I have a feeling the answer is number 2 and if so you have no future with a woman like that my friend. Women like that always hop from one, to the the next, to the next, one infatuation to another. Not a stable choice for a long term relationship. Trust me. So much truth here. I made the mistake of sending my girl who left for another guy a 2 page email about why it was a mistake. No way that helped my case. Also truth, she has gone from guy to guy her whole life. Most were relationships but not once has she had any significant period of time since puberty that she was single and alone to figure out what she really wants. Your best case is to immediately show signs of moving on after she leaves you. You kill your chances trying to win her back with sappy emails of rekindling lost love. It seems counter to what you want to do but it works best.
organizedchaos Posted December 31, 2013 Posted December 31, 2013 I disagree. If you want something sometimes you have to go out and get it. You want better chances of her coming back to you it wouldn't hurt to put thoughts of you into her head subtly. I understand where you are coming from though. I am in a PhD human behavior program I think I have a pretty good idea of how to get people to do what you want Yeah, but for the wrong reasons. And when she realizes nothing has changed and no one has evolved she'll be out the door again. You can manipulate someone back, but they won't stay. 1
Author xMetallica Posted January 1, 2014 Author Posted January 1, 2014 Mistake 1: Making contact and sending messages, big no. I know its easier said than done but it does nothing other than portray you as weak and needy and she will use that to re-inforce her decision to be with someone else. However, i have some good news for you. You'd dodged a bullet. Did she leave you, spend time on her own to find herself and then naturally fall for another man? Or did she monkey branch from you over to him leaving you to pick up the pieces in the process? I have a feeling the answer is number 2 and if so you have no future with a woman like that my friend. Women like that always hop from one, to the the next, to the next, one infatuation to another. Not a stable choice for a long term relationship. Trust me. Believe me I know sending her messages comes off as weak if I could've been a different way I would of done it. Doesn't matter now she's gone now.
JDPT Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 Let it go, I understand how painful that must be but embrace reality with a grain of salt. Learn from this past experience and know that you will come out of this a new and improved you.
HeartinPain Posted January 1, 2014 Posted January 1, 2014 You need to defriend! My ex also left me for someone else 4 months ago and he has not posted any pictures of them together on his facebook. I felt he hid me because he never posted pictures of me on his FB when we were together. He is probably doing the same with her. However, once the first picture of them together gets posted, I would not hesitate to defriend him. I know I should just defriend, but I haven't mustered up the courage since so far nothing offending has been posted. It is hard. Defriend her. I know it is difficult, but you are torturing yourself through that exposure. She is rubbing it in our face and it is delaying your healing.
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